Hollow

[Kaname Shikara]

Well...I thought I'd try a poem that didn't rhyme so much. I don't think much of this one, but some may beg to differ. Tell me what you think please ^^ I hope everyone likes it.

Hollow

This emptiness inside of me
All I want is for it to reside
But it's a lost cause
I wonder why?
Because the scars still petrify

Deep in this tomb I call my mind
Everything around me shakes
As I'm haunted by these memories
That pick away at me
This immense pain is all I can bare

Along the agonizing road
Everyone disappears
Now I'm all alone
As these memories come flashing back
Bringing me to my knees

I'm alone
Isolated
Distant
Shallow
Hollow

That's right, I'm a hollow shell
I am what my painful past made me
A dull, lifeless, hollow being
I have no soul, I have no heart
You want it back?

Well, then let's go to start
back where it all began...

[3mO.AnG3L.La3La]

Beautiful. Nice and dark (the way i like it! xP)

[Kaname Shikara]

Lol thanks XD

[Rulloxp]

I think that even though you cut around rhyming, it was still just as emotional The Poem was still very clear, and i loved it. Nice Job(;

Favorite Part:
Deep in this tomb I call my mind
Everything around me shakes
As I'm haunted by these memories
That pick away at me
<3

[Kaname Shikara]

Thank you Rullo I'm really glad that you like it. ^^

[Zandan]

O_O I like this. I like this a lot. Yeah, it could definitely be better, but it's good as it is too.

Seems like the start of a tragic story, which is something I really like.

You must write more! More!! MOAR!! *cough* Ahem, sorry about that.

(side note)I would post another poem...but it is probably too graphic and inappropriate. It is very disturbing, even for me. I don't even remember writing it, and it's scary how discriptive it is.

[Kaname Shikara]

Hm o.o so I guess I'll try it like this more often o.o; lol. I'm glad you like it too Zandan ^^ you're the reason I tried writing something like this, always saying I should write a poem that didn't rhyme. So it was good? O_o

Hmm, that graphic poem, do you think you could send it to me in PM? You've got me really interested in it o.o;

[Zandan]

Glad to see that my opinion is important enough to warrant an attempt.

I'd say it's really good. I tend to like poems more when they don't rhyme so much, although I can easily appreciate a good rhythm and rhyme. It's just my preference I guess.

I can send it to you through a pm, hope it isn't too bad...I think I'm a bit sick (not ill) for dreaming up something like it though...

[[email protected]]

this poem really touched me. It was beautiful. Elegant and haunting. I loved it. Kirako, you're a damn fine poet.

[Kaname Shikara]

Thank you Night ^^ that means a lot coming from you as well because you're an awesome poet too.

[Kirei Shijin]

I think that even though you cut around rhyming, it was still just as emotional The Poem was still very clear, and i loved it. Nice Job(;

Favorite Part:
Deep in this tomb I call my mind
Everything around me shakes
As I'm haunted by these memories
That pick away at me
<3

I couldn't agree with Rullo any more! He's right. Good job, sis.

[Kaname Shikara]

Thanks sis ^^