A Response

[Zandan]

I just recently read a certain thread that some didn't seem to like much. I am not posting this to offend, merely posting this to show what a certain someone's poem could have been. If they had only tried a bit harder to think about it. This even gives a bit of advice.

Warning: A dictionary might be necessary.

Same title as the one I'm talking about I guess.

Poetry Forum

Whether the rhymes are wrong or the rhymes are right,
I find these poems to be awfully trite.
The easier the better as people rhyme the word “dog,”
With a painfully simple rejoinder such as a “log.”
I’ll see your “beer, steer, near,” or “lear,”
With my “fear, peer, deer,” and “cheer.”
All of it, you see, can be nothing but crap,
Avoid snagging yourself in the poetic trap.

But let me now raise up the ante,
And find more words that are perhaps more scanty.
Rhyming couplets can lend to the amused,
If nothing else they are a bit overused.

“So why,” you ask, “does he continue?”
To end the prate I read hitherto.
The poems lack substance and hasten to syncopate,
Upon their own writing, the writers they desecrate.

They take, for instance: souvenir,
And try to force it to persevere,
Three syllables again - try on euphoric,
The longer this goes the more sophomoric.

We press on still further,
With ill-advised fervor,
Bigger and better,
I’ll increase by the letter.

Could this possibly be ridiculous?
It is (if it’s nothing) meticulous,
On the wrong side of felicitous,
I try to be solicitous.

Onward and upward with alliteration!
Join me won’t you with articulation.
You see what I’m doing if you’re perspicacious,
I am admittedly a bit over-ostentatious.

Although I write this experimentally,
Trust me this happened coincidentally,
I hope, as I write, I’m ameliorating,
I fear, however, it’s deteriorating.

Back down to five as this gets prototypical,
The longer this goes the more analytical.
This prose is full of tergiversation,
To mine, and your own commiseration.

The feeling abound is soporific,
As the subject itself is nonspecific.
We’re sliding to three subsequently,
I do it for thee ebulliently.

This is intended to aid you to lucubrate,
After which all of your readers will celebrate.
Your poems will sound better and flow with precision,
Avoiding strong feelings of angst and misprision.

So if you’re writing a poem, or sonnet with rhyming,
Be sure you use logic along with good timing.
It might be a sonnet or it could be a ballad,
Just please be sure that your prose is not pallid.

Pick a topic and write on with sage,
Review your work, rewrite and gauge.
Feedback will be high,
And accolades nigh,
Your ratings will soar,
From a one to a four.
Follow this guide to become a big hit,
Just spare us the trite and mundane old...erm...crap...

[Rei]

*claps* That was wonderful!

The long words give it a very old english feel -excuse my language- and the words are well used. Not at all soporific, I assure you. (: (:

[Kaname Shikara]

Yeah I really like your poem Zandan o.o you did a wonderful job, as Riiko said. ^^

[Zandan]

Well, I'm glad you two liked it. I was the most worried about offending both of you. ^_^