Your shyness is creepy.

[Miss Moonlight]

I'll talk if someone asks me a question (or talks to me), but I just won't start conversations.

[John Watson]

Not to like annoy any shy users here but sometimes really shy people can annoy me. I hate when I'm the only one who can actually start a conversation with the person and they only talk if I say something first. I can see where the shy people come from but at least manage to hold a conversation up. Personally I have no problem talking to other people and I actually enjoy being the person who talks during presentations.

I knoooow! Shyness can be soooo frustrating eh? I'm always the one who has to stir up a convo. ;-; But I cant help but find shyness a little cute. ^^;

[deep blue]

I`m sure this post will give shy people confidence

In my defense of shy people, I suppose they may not see or understand how they come across to people. They may not realize they`re staring because they`re too lost in thought, they may not realize they`re making an awkward face because it`s not like they can see their face, etc.

When I`m in an unavoidable social situation where I have no intention of talking to people I just try to avoid eye contact at all times and I never volunteer to say anything because I don`t know what else to do. If I can get away with it I`ll pull out a book I`m reading and spend my time doing that, but when you can`t, it`s hard to keep busy and not look awkward doing so.

[deep blue]

Not to like annoy any shy users here but sometimes really shy people can annoy me. I hate when I'm the only one who can actually start a conversation with the person and they only talk if I say something first. I can see where the shy people come from but at least manage to hold a conversation up. Personally I have no problem talking to other people and I actually enjoy being the person who talks during presentations.

Perhaps they think no one gives a crap about what they have to say.

[TheThunderBringer]

Only shy this year (school-wise)...well...not really shy as much as just not very energetic.

[Hideki Motosuwa.]

From personal experience, I can understand people that are shy, because I am one myself. Not everyone is a confident, and outgoing person. Just because someone is introverted and seems creepy doesn't mean they actually are, but it's always nice to keep your guard up. I'm not much of a talker myself, and I don't always start conversations, now does that make me some creepy stalker? I think not. I believe being shy is just the way some people are(perhaps they've been through something traumatic?) and it's human nature that you think people are scary when they aren't social. Yes, staring and not blinking can come off as scary, but how do you know if that person is looking at you and not blinking without you looking at them? lol(unless someone tells you that person is looking at you).


Sorry for the rant, but I just had to state my opinion

[Condey]

From personal experience, I can understand people that are shy, because I am one myself. Not everyone is a confident, and outgoing person. Just because someone is introverted and seems creepy doesn't mean they actually are, but it's always nice to keep your guard up. I'm not much of a talker myself, and I don't always start conversations, now does that make me some creepy stalker? I think not. I believe being shy is just the way some people are(perhaps they've been through something traumatic?) and it's human nature that you think people are scary when they aren't social. Yes, staring and not blinking can come off as scary, but how do you know if that person is looking at you and not blinking without you looking at them? lol(unless someone tells you that person is looking at you).


Sorry for the rant, but I just had to state my opinion

This.

Some people just are nervous around people. For me, I can't mantain a conversation with a woman so I usually avoid them. I've actually had to entertain accusations that I'm a mysogynist which really freaked me out.

I don't hate women, I just have a hard time approaching them so I keep my distance unless its 100% necessary.

[Miss Moonlight]

This.

Some people just are nervous around people. For me, I can't mantain a conversation with a woman so I usually avoid them. I've actually had to entertain accusations that I'm a mysogynist which really freaked me out.

I don't hate women, I just have a hard time approaching them so I keep my distance unless its 100% necessary.

Haha, no. You're probably just shy, is all. Females can be intimidating.

A misogynist has a deep, festering hatred of all women, usually based on some past experience where susie dumped him for ken or cheated on him with luke, or the fact his mother sat on him as a child ... or something, so now he fails at all women and all relationships.

Either way, i'm sure you're fine. =p

[MirrorToTheMoon]

I've been shy and quiet since I started school >.>. It's just the way I am. But I have been known to go high if I have too much sugar at one point in the day.

[Anime Forum]

Perhaps they think no one gives a crap about what they have to say.

@ Lali - IKR! Its so annoying, I get bored then go to the bathroom.. up.
And that isn't really true since the people would care if they talked a little more. How can they care about something they say if they never say anything?

[Token Black Guy]

People always made fun of me in high school because i'm quiet and don't really say much. They made jokes about how i was gonna shoot the school up and go crazy. I never tried to hurt anyone or anything, nor do i plan on to. People thought i was staring at them, when actually i was too lost in my thoughts to pay attention. I didn't have many friends, but would talk to a friend of mine. It's not like i never tried to make friends. I just didn't find people that i have something in common with. I would whip out one of my books to read sometimes in school but people would think i'm nuts because of the books i read. (Tao of Jeet Kune Do, The Art of War, Hagakure: Book of the Samurai, Bruce Lee's Fighting Method, etc.) For some reason they really thought i was gonna hurt somebody, but that wasn't the case. I had a hard time talking to people sometimes because i felt nervous, but i especially had a hard time talking to woman. I just get so nervous and tend to freeze up, so i tend to avoid a situation like that if necessary so i won't look weird. I never really understood why i get nervous.

[deep blue]

@ Lali - IKR! Its so annoying, I get bored then go to the bathroom.. up.
And that isn't really true since the people would care if they talked a little more. How can they care about something they say if they never say anything?

Well, no one can say for sure if someone will be interested in what someone says or not until they say it, but someone who doesn`t talk often might assume people would uninterested in what they have to say, so they figure why bother and they shut up. People reason that way - I sure do when I`m not sure if anyone would be interested in the things I`m interested in, so why bother talking about it? It`s not that I, or these other quieter people, don`t believe that what they have to say isn`t worth saying, but they wonder who`s the right audience and who would genuinely listen to it and take an interest in it. If I went and talked to you about my experiences in graduate school for teachers, horror movies, make-up, chess, cats, nihilism, or my favourite cartoon as a kid, would you care?

[Rei]

Well, not all of us quiet ones are like you.

It's only creepy when some guy is to shy to talk to this girl, and he just stares at her. I have a friend that does that. It is really creepy. But I don't think it's the same as being shy.

^ THAT is what happened to me. -shudders-

[Zandan]

Well, not all of us quiet ones are like you.

It's only creepy when some guy is to shy to talk to this girl, and he just stares at her. I have a friend that does that. It is really creepy. But I don't think it's the same as being shy.

I've...done that before...

[Rei]

It depends on how the guy looks...sadly...the one that stared at me was horrible. And as a person, too. If it's an ugly guy (sadly) It's mostly "Okay..." *backs away slowly*. And he stalked me around school...Obsessive fails.

[DOOM!]

Honestly, I've forgotten what shy is. I'm a flat-out person. I wouldn't avoid, pull back or stammer from a conversation unless the cops are about to take me in.

[Hideki Motosuwa.]

People always made fun of me in high school because i'm quiet and don't really say much. They made jokes about how i was gonna shoot the school up and go crazy. I never tried to hurt anyone or anything, nor do i plan on to. People thought i was staring at them, when actually i was too lost in my thoughts to pay attention. I didn't have many friends, but would talk to a friend of mine. It's not like i never tried to make friends. I just didn't find people that i have something in common with. I would whip out one of my books to read sometimes in school but people would think i'm nuts because of the books i read. (Tao of Jeet Kune Do, The Art of War, Hagakure: Book of the Samurai, Bruce Lee's Fighting Method, etc.) For some reason they really thought i was gonna hurt somebody, but that wasn't the case. I had a hard time talking to people sometimes because i felt nervous, but i especially had a hard time talking to woman. I just get so nervous and tend to freeze up, so i tend to avoid a situation like that if necessary so i won't look weird. I never really understood why i get nervous.

Ah, those are some good reads but I can see how some people can get the wrong idea. Also, maybe the reason you don't understand why you get nervous is the fact that you haven't found anyone in common with to talk to in order to develop more social skills and maybe a little self-confidence? No offense man, but I have the same problem and I can see where you're coming from. Maybe you could try having your friend help you out? But good luck with that though and regards

--Cam

[Anime Forum]

Well, no one can say for sure if someone will be interested in what someone says or not until they say it, but someone who doesn`t talk often might assume people would uninterested in what they have to say, so they figure why bother and they shut up. People reason that way - I sure do when I`m not sure if anyone would be interested in the things I`m interested in, so why bother talking about it? It`s not that I, or these other quieter people, don`t believe that what they have to say isn`t worth saying, but they wonder who`s the right audience and who would genuinely listen to it and take an interest in it. If I went and talked to you about my experiences in graduate school for teachers, horror movies, make-up, chess, cats, nihilism, or my favourite cartoon as a kid, would you care?

I see what you mean, but towards the end of the paragraph you mentioned would I care, and I would. I mean I won't be jumping for joy but when generally its a pretty fun thing to learn more about a person. I guess that's how friendship can first be formed, learning about the person. I don't see how friendship can be formed without first sharing stuff on yourself. That's how I made so many friends, by talking and sharing information like that about myself.

[Cobra Commander]

I was always shy in school, even in college. I had almost no friends all through university, other than my two roommates. And we were always drinking, playing video games, and watching kung fu movies together.

In high school, I got called into the office because a friend and I were talking about having a LAN party, and playing some Quake 3. Some kid must have heard "circle strafe" "rocket jump" and "quad damage nail gun rape" and put together that I was going to come and shoot up the school. I got out of classes for the rest of the day though, having to defend myself against the dumb accusations, and explain the concept of LANs, video games, and every other controversial aspect of my life. You know, musical taste, why I was reading Sun Tzu, etc. Douchebags...that school was full of them.

Anyway, I can be confident and assertive at work, but I still have a hard time approaching the ladies. Though I'm more comfortable flirting with the cutie that works at Gamestop than I am trying to pick up chicks at the mall etc.

[Haoie]

Is it that hard to get a cute shy girl?

The answer seems to be a resounding yes.

[deep blue]

I see what you mean, but towards the end of the paragraph you mentioned would I care, and I would. I mean I won't be jumping for joy but when generally its a pretty fun thing to learn more about a person. I guess that's how friendship can first be formed, learning about the person. I don't see how friendship can be formed without first sharing stuff on yourself. That's how I made so many friends, by talking and sharing information like that about myself.

I agree that is how friendships are formed. People have to take risks and feel comfortable with themselves to talk about themselves. If no one seems interested, a secure person would shurg their shoulders and move on. Shy people, however, are more often than not insecure people, who can take any sort of rejection personally and avoid getting hurt by opening up in the first place. They figure why bother say anything, no one would care, they might laugh or think I`m weird, etc. Negative thoughts just swirl around in their head.

Now, not all shy people experience this - some people prefer to be alone. It`s just one explaination that could be the reason why shy people are reclusive and reluctant to initiate a conversation. It doesn`t sound very logical, but all I`m trying to do is help those not-so shy individuals understand the reasoning behind shy people`s behaviour.

[Miss Moonlight]

Now, not all shy people experience this - some people prefer to be alone. It`s just one explaination that could be the reason why shy people are reclusive and reluctant to initiate a conversation. It doesn`t sound very logical, but all I`m trying to do is help those not-so shy individuals understand the reasoning behind shy people`s behaviour.

This ^

I usually prefer to be alone, or in small groups.

[chaotic.rune]

honestly i am a little bit shy... but it's not creepy, i think it's just misunderstood

[-Ro-]

If a person prefers extraversion, their choice coincides with about 75 percent of the general population (Bradway, 1964). Only 25 percent reported introversion as their preference, according to Myers (Bradway, 1964). Indeed, Western culture seems to sanction the outgoing, sociable, and gregarious temperament. The notion of anyone wanting or needing much solitude is viewed rather often as reflecting an unfriendly attitude. Solitary activities frequently are seen as ways to structure time until something better comes along, and this something better by definition involves interacting with people. As a consequence, introverts are often the ugly ducklings in a society where the majority enjoy sociability.

Introverts have reported that they have gone through much of their lives believing that they ought to want more sociability, and because they do not, are indeed ugly ducklings who can never be swans. As a result, the introvert seldom provides adequately for their very legitimate desire for... breathing room, without experiencing a vague feeling of guilt.

David Keirsey's view on the subject. Asian cultures traditionally are supposed to have more introverts because of the belief that those who stand up to their rulers would only get hurt. I don't think introverts are creepy, I just think bad people are creepy.

[Token Black Guy]

Ah, those are some good reads but I can see how some people can get the wrong idea. Also, maybe the reason you don't understand why you get nervous is the fact that you haven't found anyone in common with to talk to in order to develop more social skills and maybe a little self-confidence? No offense man, but I have the same problem and I can see where you're coming from. Maybe you could try having your friend help you out? But good luck with that though and regards

--Cam

My friend and another guy i know are trying to help me with this, especially since i have a crush on a girl in my math class. Jeez this is the first time a pretty girl has been friendly with me. It's kinda weird though. Hell i can't even start a conversation with the girl since i get so nervous. It really sucks that i get nervous like that. It's almost like an automatic shutdown.