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Thread: Wintering

  1. #1
    Neverwinter Gnostic Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Wintering

    Winter wind mix with the drag of a cigarette
    Spiral off spinning soft wispy pirouettes
    Past scapeshifting trees and spiring minarets
    The last dying leaf waves sad like a bannerette

    The fingering oaks are reaching and clawing
    Up to the sky which is slate gray and yawning
    Over the land where a spring ghost is haunting
    Reminding me of the once long ago fawnings

    When flush greenery brush painted blue skylines
    and the flowing of flowers fell through the entwine
    fingers of children that played in the shade of columbine
    and the library was a gently and sweet glowing road sign

    But the march of the moments came fast as a sparrow
    No one felt a thing until it stung like an arrow
    Until we were milled down under and harrowed
    Some they gave fruit, flourish, I gave no farrow
    Last edited by Luzifer; 04-13-2010 at 12:59 AM.
    The tragedy of life comes not from pain, despair, sorrow, or even death; but the constant annihilating amnesia that begs us to forget we live.


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  3. #2
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
    Gil
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    This is a great poem ^^ I really liked how you made the stanza rhyme with four lines and then the last line not rhyme but sum up everything. Interesting way to do it though: aaaab, ccccd, eeeef, ggggh. Great poem and I hope to see more from you.
    Last edited by Kaname Shikara; 04-01-2010 at 01:04 AM.

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  4. #3
    Senior Member
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    Gil
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    A very pretty poem, I liked it! (: Especially with your choice of words.

    But each stanza might rhyme too much, perhaps? Still, it's great!


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