The Apocalypse

[miniPhil]

I'm sure plenty of you are more than ready for the zombie apocalypse. You probably have one or two escape plans and plenty of supplies stacked away. But I'm curious as to how well you will all handle the kitten apocalypse. Heres your situation:

The year is 2012 and the kittens have taken over most of the world. A test for a new flavor over at Nestle went horribly wrong. One of the scientists kittens consumed some of the solution. At first nothing seemed amiss until all the scientists had vanished and in their place were kittens. Using security cameras it became obvious that the flavor had turned the kitten into some kind of horrible monster. One look at the kitten would cause a human to be trapped in its terrible cute ray. After paralysis the kitten would stare at the human until their brain melted and they in turn turned into another kitten.

The kittens have already spread to most of the world but have had particularly devastating effects in the U.S.A where most individuals tried to hunt the kittens. Unfortunately for these poor souls a single glance at a kitten from any angle can cause paralysis. Many countries around the world have already broken down into anarchy with many more initiating martial law. All ports and borders have been closed.

Your government may not have long before breaking down. Supplies will be limited and kittens are everywhere. What do you do AF?

Tl;dr It'll take less than a minute to read it you lazy twat.

[niKopol]

Create two religions for the kittens to follow. They war against each other.

Subject the survivors to psychological warfare. Reality TV and Lady Gaga.

For what little sum is left after that. Catnip and a few good shovels.

[miniPhil]

Create two religions for the kittens to follow. They war against each other.

Subject the survivors to psychological warfare. Reality TV and Lady Gaga.

Unfortunately the kittens are mindless beings. Their sole reason for existence is looking cute and destruction. They are unable to comprehend religion or psychological warfare.

For what little sum is left after that. Catnip and a few good shovels.

Are you sure you'll be able to execute this without looking at them?

[niKopol]

Well since that back-fired, I'll send in Kirstie Alley she eats cute things for breakfast. A few couple million kittens should be no trouble for her.

or

Eye-patches.

[miniPhil]

Well since that back-fired, I'll send in Kirstie Alley she eats cute things for breakfast. A few couple million kittens should be no trouble for her.

It's too late, she's one of them. None can escape their gaze!

Eye-patches.

You have successful escaped the cute rays emitted by the kittens. However you are now blind. With limited resources your survival rate has dropped to 10%.

[The Butcher]

I try to create the Pulse,then try to rage war on them with my homicidal minions.

[Eris]

I'd build robot dogs.

[miniPhil]

I try to create the Pulse,then try to rage war on them with my homicidal minions.

Your homicidal minions prove useless as they are turned to kittens on first sight.

I'd build robot dogs.

This requires a large amount of resources and time. Assuming you have managed to make some robot dogs they only manage to take down some of the kittens and ultimately prove ineffective against the ever expanding kitten hive mind.

[alexshim]

I'd build robot dogs.

you mean like this one I have it's a mini model though

[Eris]

This requires a large amount of resources and time. Assuming you have managed to make some robot dogs they only manage to take down some of the kittens and ultimately prove ineffective against the ever expanding kitten hive mind.

That is if you manually construct the dogs. Think more along the lines of a canine skynet where they can build themselves. Furthermore, dogs are the timeless enemies of cats, and thus strike fear in all cats nearby. And that's what dogs that aren't even made of steel can do.

[miniPhil]

That is if you manually construct the dogs. Think more along the lines of a canine skynet where they can build themselves. Furthermore, dogs are the timeless enemies of cats, and thus strike fear in all cats nearby. And that's what dogs that aren't even made of steel can do.

Instilling fear in the kittens will not work. The are mindless daemons of terror that only exist to spread cuteness to the world. However your dogs may prove useful in defending a house or keep of some sort. You're only other problem is powering them. Good luck in your endeavor when the kitten apocalypse does happen.

[poshyterra]

I wear tinted sunglasses so the kittens can't paralyze me. Then, I grab a gun and let loose whenever something fluffy comes my way. Sorry if your hair feels like kitty fur.

[miniPhil]

I wear tinted sunglasses so the kittens can't paralyze me. Then, I grab a gun and let loose whenever something fluffy comes my way. Sorry if your hair feels like kitty fur.

Sunglasses have no effect on the cute rays. You would be turned in mere seconds.

[poshyterra]

I cover up my entire face then, live like a blind person, and shoot at anything fluffy that comes my way.

[Aku no Hikari]

I'd make a dog eat the same flavor to create a dog apocalypse that will turn all the kittens in the world into dogs.

The dog apocalypse will not be a threat to humans since dogs, unlike cats, are not mindless, are are very loyal to their masters.

[Light Buster]

I'd nuke the world, MW2 style. Shoot every kitten there is to man, all of that, either way, the kittens can't kill me.

[MangaFanGuy]

I would simply embrace the new masters of mankind
kittens are cute so it's not all bad

[BurntHouse]

I'm ready...

I'm already growing an abnormal amount of Cat-nip and just purchased large quantities of laser-pointers to thwart any Kitten invasion.

[Cobra Commander]

I'd pull out my trusty keyboard and type "IDDQD" as I run through the hallways, blazing away with my shotgun. Kittens, zombies, same thing.

[Diocletian]

I showed this to my friend and he responded: "lol touch myself. didnt you hear everytime you touch ureself god kills a kiten".

That's probably going to get deleted, but I found it funny. I would probably call up my buddy Spencer over at Umbrella and tell him to spread HIS virus.

[knives1019]

I would hire some one who is unaffected by any amount of cuteness and his name is Chuck Norris.
And just incase that fails, I have trained Zombie Sam Walton to do my biddin.

Take that overly cute kittens with no souls.

[Videlreyes]

I would die very fast because i love kittens ^.^ they r so cute! i would not live long lol

[Shinn Kamiyra]

Infrared goggles to block out their blasted cute rays. Then a pair of semi-automatic pistols, some tear gas grenades, some actual grenades, a week's worth of ammunition, and then... I'd reign hellfire on those fuzzy little jerks.

[niKopol]

First eye patches with a digital GPS embedded in them or perhaps a 3d imager so I know what stuff looks like around me. Make my way to the nearest store. Stock up on supplies if said store hasn't been looted by now which means I'd have to walk or drive to the other side of town but this is all theoretical. Then to a gun store, grab a sniper rifle assuming that the cats can't cute ray you anywhere between 500 meters and a mile you darn god modder, bullets and camping supplies. To a pet store which is probably enemy territory which means taking quick peaks is an irrational idea hear, grab catnip hopefully.

Find a roof top, set up the catnip in a pile that is easy to aim at, set up the tent, set up the sniper rifle in a comfy position. Ride out the end of days. If food runs out, eat cats. Mmm. Chinese. If they are edible without side effects, if not rinse, reload and repeat.

Back up plan, make cheezeburgers or pet them.

[Dr. Hax]

Step 1: Airdrop cheezeburgers in key locations

Step 2:

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