Journey (my first freestyle)

[Howling Star]

Ok here I tried my first Free style... Since I've always had the feeling I rhyme to much...

Journey

Death is dining on my table
Whe're feasting on my soul
We need a new man
There's nothing left here

The air I inhale poluted by society
The air I exhale polution of the soul
When every shape is losing it's charm
When no one cares about a new dawn

When the sun is back I'll be gone
All has lost his it's glow
When stress haunts your mind
When you can't escape

When you gaze up to the moon
And when the drugs wil lit soon
Is this the right path I'm walking
This life need some reversion

It's time to retrace my steps
To go back where it all went wrong
But would someone care about me now
And as I'm down on my knees

Praying to heaven to fall asleep
For I am the one who hates his own kind
A outcast that never was meant to last
For I serve the language of failure and doubt

Fortune has forgot my name
What worth is life
If it can be ended by a knife
As I sail this cold sea called life

[Kaname Shikara]

This was a good poem ^^ very good for your first free style too.

[alexshim]

wowowowowowowowow

audience stop in speech of awe....

I am speechless toooo

[[email protected]]

Great poem. Goes to show you don't need to rhyme to make a good poem.