Got a tell-tale e-mail from Luka
"Today I saw him walking with some strange girl"
What's this? I don't understand
But come to think of it, in my horoscope
It said Cancers were the worst match
"Let's just believe in what we see with our own eyes"
Forgetting the boring reality
I'll just catch a UFO with a vacancy sign 
Knowing the truth is scary
I'm weak, so comfort me, my darling UMA!
Tonight I'll have a blood-drinking contest with a Chupacabra
And dance on top of Nessie as she floats
I gave a carrot cocktail to a centaur
If I line my feet up with Bigfoot
And take a step with the Kraken
I won't let you sleep ever again, so be prepared, 'kay?
I knew that "the red thread of fate"
And "princes on white horses" and stuff like that
Were just a bunch of urban legends after all
Even these wounded feelings
Will just be illusions when tomorrow comes
"I'm done with Earth men!"
Discover me, I'm just bluffing
Shouting in a loud voice, then "WHAT?!" 
Written on the back of the Nazca lines 
I'm sending you an SOS, my darling UMA!
Tonight, with a Carbuncle DJ
I'll make the floor shake with a Yeti 
The disco ball and the unicorn spin around
Carrying the Tsuchinoko
Wrapping my arms around the neck
Of the Mokele-Mbembe, I'll be just a bit adult 
The paparazzi will definitely notice, right?
"Huh? For my birthday?
Hmm... well, I want an astronomical telescope!
The kind NASA uses would be great.
... Just kidding (laugh)
What about you? What do you want?
... Eh? ... Ehhh?
What kind of idiot are you? Seriously~~~...
... But yeah. ... That's right.
Let's go together sometime. ... Okay?"
It was 11:00 PM when I noticed
The correcting e-mail saying "That girl I saw was his sister ><"
Looking through my two-digit missed call record
I dashed to our meeting place five hours late
"... I want to believe..."
I was out of breath, but he was so nice to me
He didn't ask me "what happened?" or anything
Your smile as you hold my hand tightly is the real thing
Our feelings are unconfirmed
But you're really here
"It's not a L.I.E
Because I R.E.A.L.ly
 I'm not sure if "vacancy sign" is the right word -- I'm thinking she means like those signs on top of taxis that light up if they're free? Do those have a name?
 Can't quite make sense of this line.
 I'm not sure about the function of チラ裏 here.
 There's got to be a more idiomatic way of translating フロア揺らす. Unfortunately all I can think of is "cut a rug", which is laughably antiquated.
 Not sure about ちょっぴり大人.