Lukaからのチクりメール
「今日アイツ知らない娘と歩いていたよ」
なにそれ イミ分かんない
そういえば星座占い
かに座最悪だったな
『目ニ見エルモノダケヲ信ジマショウ』

Got a tell-tale e-mail from Luka
"Today I saw him walking with some strange girl"
What's this? I don't understand
But come to think of it, in my horoscope
It said Cancers were the worst match
"Let's just believe in what we see with our own eyes"

つまらない現実忘れて
空車表示のUFOつかまえる
真実を知るのが怖いの
弱い私を慰めてよU.M.A.様!

Forgetting the boring reality
I'll just catch a UFO with a vacancy sign [1]
Knowing the truth is scary
I'm weak, so comfort me, my darling UMA!

今夜チュパカブラと血のみ比べ
浮かぶネッシーの上で踊るよ
ケンタウロスがにんじんのカクテルをくれたの
ビッグフットと足合わせ
クラーケンとステップを踏めば
もう眠らせないよ 覚悟しててね?

Tonight I'll have a blood-drinking contest with a Chupacabra
And dance on top of Nessie as she floats
I gave a carrot cocktail to a centaur
If I line my feet up with Bigfoot
And take a step with the Kraken
I won't let you sleep ever again, so be prepared, 'kay?

運命の赤い糸や
白馬の王子様なんて
所詮都市伝説だし分かってたもんね

I knew that "the red thread of fate"
And "princes on white horses" and stuff like that
Were just a bunch of urban legends after all

傷ついたこの気持ちも
明日になれば幻
『地球ノ男ニ飽キタ所ヨ』

Even these wounded feelings
Will just be illusions when tomorrow comes
"I'm done with Earth men!"

強がる自分を新発見
大声で叫ぶから「ナンダッテー!!ΩΩΩ」
チラ裏のナスカに描いた
SOS受けとめてよU.M.A.様!

Discover me, I'm just bluffing
Shouting in a loud voice, then "WHAT?!" [2]
Written on the back of the Nazca lines [3]
I'm sending you an SOS, my darling UMA!

今夜カーバンクルのDJもノって
イエティとフロア揺らすよ
ミラーボールとユニコーン廻り
ツチノコ運ぶの
モケーレ・ムベンベの首に
腕をまわしてちょっぴり大人

Tonight, with a Carbuncle DJ
I'll make the floor shake with a Yeti [4]
The disco ball and the unicorn spin around
Carrying the Tsuchinoko
Wrapping my arms around the neck
Of the Mokele-Mbembe, I'll be just a bit adult [5]

パパラッチは勿論お断りよ?

The paparazzi will definitely notice, right?

「え? 誕生日プレゼント?
 んっとじゃあね 天体望遠鏡!
 NASAが使ってるやつがいいな
 なーんてね(笑)
 そっちは? 何が欲しい?
 え? えええ?
 バッカじゃないの?! もう~~~
 でも、うん。そうだね。
 いつか一緒に行こっか。ね?」

"Huh? For my birthday?
Hmm... well, I want an astronomical telescope!
The kind NASA uses would be great.
... Just kidding (laugh)
What about you? What do you want?
... Eh? ... Ehhh?
What kind of idiot are you? Seriously~~~...
... But yeah. ... That's right.
Let's go together sometime. ... Okay?"

「私が見た娘は妹><」と
訂正のメール気付くPM11:00
二桁の着信履歴見て
5時間遅れの待ち合わせ場所へダッシュ

It was 11:00 PM when I noticed
The correcting e-mail saying "That girl I saw was his sister ><"
Looking through my two-digit missed call record
I dashed to our meeting place five hours late

「信じたい」

"... I want to believe..."

息切れする私に優しく
「なにかあったの?」なんて聞かないで
ギュッと手を握るキミのその笑顔は本物
2人の気持ち未確認
でもキミは確かにここにいる

I was out of breath, but he was so nice to me
He didn't ask me "what happened?" or anything
Your smile as you hold my hand tightly is the real thing
Our feelings are unconfirmed
But you're really here

「U.SO(ウソ)じゃないよ
 M.AJI(マジ)で
 A.I(アイ)してるから」

"It's not a L.I.E
Because I R.E.A.L.ly
L.O.V.E. you"

[1] I'm not sure if "vacancy sign" is the right word -- I'm thinking she means like those signs on top of taxis that light up if they're free? Do those have a name?

[2] Can't quite make sense of this line.

[3] I'm not sure about the function of チラ裏 here.

[4] There's got to be a more idiomatic way of translating フロア揺らす. Unfortunately all I can think of is "cut a rug", which is laughably antiquated.

[5] Not sure about ちょっぴり大人.