AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com

User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: The Day After Love

  1. #1
    Member lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel's Avatar
    Gil
    1,780.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    05-20-2010 09:20 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The Moon
    Age
    19
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    89
    Rep Power
    14

    Default The Day After Love

    THE DAY AFTER LOVE


    Its a cold,hollow day
    There is emptiness all around
    And there is nothing I can say
    I hoped for the love to stay
    I hoped for you to never go away
    With you I was happy,joyful and gay
    On that lovely Valentines day
    But now the love is gone
    And there is nothing I can say
    To bring us back together
    So here on the bed we lay
    Looking at the ceiling up above
    There is no hope for us
    After the day of love

    Just writing my first poem ever and I would love to here your opinions on it .
    Last edited by lunarangel; 02-19-2010 at 05:56 AM.


    Enchanting Purple

  2. #2
    Ruler of Fire ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac's Avatar
    Gil
    13,655.00
    Gender
    My Mood
    Amused
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-09-2010 05:42 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    manga world
    Threads
    64
    Posts
    684
    Rep Power
    325

    Default

    nice poem sweet gesture to it
    just few mistakes

    And a chilling wind coming ower way * make it over *

    And they is nothing I can say *It should be there*
    ~ai~rox~

    Thanks teed for the site info

  3. #3
    Member lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel's Avatar
    Gil
    1,780.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    05-20-2010 09:20 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The Moon
    Age
    19
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    89
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    thanx for the advice.
    Last edited by lunarangel; 02-18-2010 at 10:34 AM.


    Enchanting Purple

  4. #4
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
    Gil
    5,474.71
    Gender
    My Mood
    Tired
    Gifts Hot Chocolate Flowers Fan2 Wolf
    Mentioned
    59 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-03-2013 06:15 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    In Between Darkness and Light, Engulfed in Fire and Ice
    Age
    21
    Threads
    138
    Posts
    2,563
    Blog Entries
    17
    Rep Power
    2386

    Default

    Nice poem it has a sad and forgotten feel to it. You're good so keep writing please. ^^

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  5. #5
    Kirako's medic soldier Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com has a reputation beyond repute Nightixu@hotmail.com's Avatar
    Gil
    6,120.40
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-07-2011 06:32 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Mansion
    Threads
    35
    Posts
    317
    Rep Power
    261

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lunarangel View Post
    THE DAY AFTER LOVE


    Its a cold,hollow day
    There is emptyness all around
    And they is nothing I can say
    I hoped for the love to stay
    I hoped for you to never go away
    With you I was happy,joyful and gay
    On that lovely Valentines day
    But now the love is gone
    And they is nothing I can say
    To bring us back together
    So here on the bed we lay
    Looking at the roof top up above
    They is no hope for us
    After the day of love

    Just writing my first poem ever and I would love to here your opinions on it .
    Those are the mistakes in the poem. Careful now, a poem has got to be perfect grammatically and without these careless spelling and word mistakes. The poem was decent and okay for your first try. It felt monotonous and especially so because of the rhyming. Its like the rhyming was abused. Rhymes are good for poems but a poems doesn't necessarily need rhymes to make it good. Keep writing and reading lunar. And a happy lunar new year to you. ^^

  6. #6
    Member lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel is a splendid one to behold lunarangel's Avatar
    Gil
    1,780.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    05-20-2010 09:20 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The Moon
    Age
    19
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    89
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    Thanx you guys and I promise I will do better next time .


    Enchanting Purple

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Love Love Baby (panties warning)
    By Xian Pu in forum Wallpapers
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-04-2007, 06:17 AM
  2. What Are You Listening To?
    By Daenerys in forum J-pop/rock (and other music)
    Replies: 1391
    Last Post: 10-23-2004, 07:58 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts