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Thread: I promise I'm not here to rob you

  1. #1
    Junior Member Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420's Avatar
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    Default I promise I'm not here to rob you

    So here's a situation that has been quite unfair to me for a while now.

    I'm Black, 6'3 340lbs, usually not clean shaven, wearing dark sunglasses, and typically dressed "hood". I know I appear like your average run of the mill thug, but i'm not. I have a BA degree in film, i'm an anime addict, I write poetry, and love sushi. For some reason everytime I try to make a friend that would hold these similar interest they all seem to just keep their distance and treat me like im a wolf in sheeps clothing [rather a wolf in wolfs clothing, just cocky enough to stroll right up to them].

    So my question is how can I portray these qualities to another person without changing my appearance [style], or walk around spewing anime quotes or humming j-pop.

    Btw, yes I've been to anime conventions and things of that sort, the crowd usually parts like the red sea upon my arrival.

    Also does anyone else have a similar issue with this?

  2. #2
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    yea son, with anime ppl, i don't say i dress hood, i just dress with proper style(non white ppl style)baggy jeans and XXXL tee's and stay with a fitted.i'm not 6'3 but my accent sets me apart, but i still have nerdy white friends who dress like rock heads but we sshare the same interests in anime and video games and other stuff.


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    Have you tried making jokes about the fact that your style is so different than your personality.
    I mean if there's an elephant in the room, point it out :} maybe that would break the ice and make them more comfortable talking to you.



  4. #4
    Junior Member Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420's Avatar
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    Well the issue primarily is that any attempt I make to break the ice is usually meet with uneasy chuckles and immediate silence. I was thinking is there like a specific greeting I could use to show I'm into anime like saying Konnichiwa instead of hi or adding dattebayo jokingly after every other sentance, or will that come off corny or fake?

  5. #5
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    Well I am white but am German/Irish. I have never had that problem before. The best advice I have for you is to reach a comon ground with someone you already know who likes anime. As far as how you dress that is all up to you. Though it is not just your case that people have been known to get a little shaky around. As for me cloths like yours would most likely not bother me, but that is cause I am a pretty laied back person.
    Gero Server Guru




  6. #6
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    Not to be racist, but when people typically think of anime fan, they think of meek, white kids with massive brains and no physical fitness. So it may come as a shock to them that you like it. Heck, I'm Mexican, and it surprises people.

    You just have to live with it for a while and find some people who aren't judgmental. It takes a bit of work, but there's nothing wrong with you, just the people around you.

    Maybe coming off with a stereotypical Japanese greeting/anime greeting would get corny, so rather than immediately point out you love anime, why not ease it into a conversation? Like, wait until you begin talking about interests and point it out. It comes off a lot better when its not out of the blue.
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  7. #7
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    If people are gonna be like that when you're only trying to make friends with them then you can already tell what kind of 'friends' they're gonna be like. So just walk off~ hmph who needs 'em? >/

    But anyhoo, you should try taking off the sunglasses when you greet & meet people and smile kindly at them, cuz taking off the shades shows you have respect and manners. ^^

    "They didn't need to tell eachother. They never needed to tell eachother."



  8. #8
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    Have you tried asking them a lot of questions to begin with?

    Like, "What anime do you like?" then just sitting back and letting them talk,
    nodding occasionally or something.
    Then when they're done, add on what you like and note the ones they said that you like.
    Or just focusing on one in particular?

    You could also just carry a manga around with you all day.
    Even if you don't read it, people might approach you about it. =D


  9. #9
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    Well, there aren't many black people in Eastern Europe, and people may only stare at them because you don't see them every day, but other than that we usually treat them like any white person. Same goes for Asians. Back in our powder keg days, however, there was a widespread hatred for Gypsies, but today people merely watch their pockets in the bus when they're around.

    I, for one, blame the American media and illusion of freedom for causing that mass paranoia and/or hysteria.


  10. #10
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    i agree with the people who say that you should try taking off the sunglasses when you want to talk to them about anime and asking them questions and just listening but also say the sort of anime that you like so that they know that you arnt just taking the piss

  11. #11
    4: [Classified brah] Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix420 View Post
    I'm Black, 6'3 340lbs, usually not clean shaven, wearing dark sunglasses, and typically dressed "hood". I know I appear like your average run of the mill thug, but i'm not. I have a BA degree in film, i'm an anime addict, I write poetry, and love sushi. For some reason everytime I try to make a friend that would hold these similar interest they all seem to just keep their distance and treat me like im a wolf in sheeps clothing [rather a wolf in wolfs clothing, just cocky enough to stroll right up to them].

    So my question is how can I portray these qualities to another person without changing my appearance [style], or walk around spewing anime quotes or humming j-pop.

    I don't think there's any good way. A good first step to not coming off like a thug who's about to rob people is not dressing like one. Sure, racial profiling is unfair and stupid, but still, I think dressing the part will compound the problem quite a bit. While giving up your whole identity may be a lot to ask, throwing in a little geek chic probably won't hurt too badly. A nerdy T-shirt will likely go a long way, even if you just wear it at conventions or whatever.
    Last edited by Eris; 01-31-2010 at 01:16 PM.



    Hey look, Japan made a movie about me!

  12. #12
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    That happens to my partner, he wears hoodies and dresses in black, baggy jeans and when we walk our dog people think that shes a drug dog :/ or we are going to steal their bags or something...?! We have heard comments from them in which i like to correct them...its not nice saying things blatently when walking past pretending like we didnt hear that, when we did, people shouldnt make judgements like that but it always happens, okay he's 5'7 and white, so no matter the race or hight, it is mainly how you dress, depending on individual. Esp how the media is right now about bombers, drug deelers etc, people are paranoid about leaving their own homes!!

    I heard a story once about an elderly lady in her late 80's growing weed in her own house!! haha it did make me chuckle though!! Can you imagine, a lady in her 80's with an AK-47 :P

    I used to worry what people think...but i dont give a monkeys anymore, im not changing for no one!! ^_^
    Last edited by warla_woo; 01-31-2010 at 01:56 PM.

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  13. #13
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    Just follow the first rule. Desu~

    Last edited by Ryuuzaki HD; 01-31-2010 at 03:05 PM. Reason: Needed moar desu.

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    Please don't use konnichiwa. It would make you come off as a really stereotypical anime fan.

    Simply don't dress hood. Let me rephrase that dress hood, but in a style anime fans could point out. Possibly Bapes could do the trick. Bape is a Japanese thing and some anime fans could point that out as someone who possibly has an interest in Japanese things.

    Race doesn't have anything to do with it. There are more black anime fans now than ever. Thank Afro Samurai and Street Fighter for that one. I would recommend going to a con near New York. A lot of the African American anime fans I know come from around that area. Not insinuating you shouldn't hang out with fans of different races, just start there and branch off.

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    For a minute there I thought this was a Mavericker thread.

    Well if I were in your position I would not really mind it. It doesnt matter what people think, just as long as you feel comfortable wearing what you do. If they can't deal with that then its their problem.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

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    Wow i think they're super shallow and stereotypical of them to judge you based on how you look. You were nice and friendly to them right? Then is there a reason they shouldn't take a shine to you? No!
    It only makes ya wanna bust a cap in their ***! >_<
    Don't worry phoenix. Its not you. You don't have to change who you are and your style of clothing. Maybe adapt to something that these "people" are used to. Then go back to your usual style once they know you better.

    Although i think its not worth befriending them if you have to go through so much trouble to please them. Why not spread the love of anime to your friends.

  17. #17
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    [quote=Eris;2379753]I don't think there's any good way. A good first step to not coming off like a thug who's about to rob people is not dressing like one. Sure, racial profiling is unfair and stupid, but still, I think dressing the part will compound the problem quite a bit. While giving up your whole identity may be a lot to ask, throwing in a little geek chic probably won't hurt too badly. A nerdy T-shirt will likely go a long way, even if you just wear it at conventions or whatever.[/quot:::wonders how jefferey Dohmer dressed:::


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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix420 View Post
    So here's a situation that has been quite unfair to me for a while now.

    I'm Black, 6'3 340lbs, usually not clean shaven, wearing dark sunglasses, and typically dressed "hood". I know I appear like your average run of the mill thug, but i'm not. I have a BA degree in film, i'm an anime addict, I write poetry, and love sushi. For some reason everytime I try to make a friend that would hold these similar interest they all seem to just keep their distance and treat me like im a wolf in sheeps clothing [rather a wolf in wolfs clothing, just cocky enough to stroll right up to them].

    So my question is how can I portray these qualities to another person without changing my appearance [style], or walk around spewing anime quotes or humming j-pop.

    Btw, yes I've been to anime conventions and things of that sort, the crowd usually parts like the red sea upon my arrival.

    Also does anyone else have a similar issue with this?
    Seems to me people around are rather shallow. And I hate it for the fact that people misjudge other people just by the looks. It needs to be stopped globally because first hand I've seen hatred and fights come right out of it.

    Sorry to have this happen to you bro, but to answer your question: No this has never happened to me.

    I say you continue to be your self and don't you ever chance your looks, just to try to fit in or accommodate anyone elses space.

    =)
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  19. #19
    4: [Classified brah] Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vyndrasta View Post
    Seems to me people around are rather shallow. And I hate it for the fact that people misjudge other people just by the looks. It needs to be stopped globally because first hand I've seen hatred and fights come right out of it.

    Sorry to have this happen to you bro, but to answer your question: No this has never happened to me.

    I say you continue to be your self and don't you ever chance your looks, just to try to fit in or accommodate anyone elses space.

    =)
    People are prejudiced to some degree by human nature. It's just how we are. It has less to do with skin color than it has to do with cultural groups. We are naturally distrustful of people of other cultures and social groups. It's quite easy to get over once you get to know people of those groups, but there is a significant threshold that needs to be overcome.

    It's not fair, but it's just how it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmo Duck View Post
    ::wonders how jefferey Dohmer dressed:::
    Like it or not, people do judge a book by it's cover to some degree, whether they're aware of it or not. As much as I wish this wasn't the case, adapting to this fact does give you an edge.
    Last edited by Eris; 01-31-2010 at 03:58 PM.



    Hey look, Japan made a movie about me!

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eris View Post
    People are prejudiced to some degree by human nature.
    Very true. Actually by a whole lot.
    Maslow's hierarchy needs comes to play into this because it is by human nature we feeds ourselves from the eyes first (I didn't know that eaither lol). When something seems more appealing towards, we lower down our inner walls and feel more comfortable in our surroundings.

    I read an essay once about human nature in regards to how we prefer "eye candy" versus "quality" in a person. This essay was done by a professor in John Hopkins Uni.

    To the original poster: You can try Eris' idea and give way to loosing that thug look just slightly, and see where it goes. Spruse up the image?

    Keep us updated dude. Maybe we can help out further if we can do this process by elimination. If one thing wont work, we'll get to another plan for you.
    the lovely miss keri hilson - - -

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    I would suggest not dressing as hood as you do. You like to sag your pants? Fine. Wear your oversized shirt, but make that shirt something that communicates that it might be okay to talk to you. People can be intimidated for silly reasons, and one of those might simply be because you're a lot bigger than them. Wear a Bleach shirt or something - it'll probably have to be a mainstream anime shirt if it's going to come in the size you want. It would be polite to take off your sunglasses when you talk to people, too.

  22. #22
    Junior Member Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420's Avatar
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    Firstly, thank you all for the advice. I've a some point or another thought of trying those same tactics that were suggested and they really are some good ideas.

    Whoever I have a belief that you should show who you are from the beginning that way you dont come off fake later. So with that being said, my appearance is who I am. I wear sunglasses because my eyes are sensitive. I wear baggy clothes [but i dont sag my pants] because im big and I tend to tear through more fitting clothes. So its circumstantial that I find my self in the attire im in.

    I would have to say the best advice I've read is to 1. Walk around with a manga in my back pocket; 2. Where a mainstream anime shirt to said conventions or club [i'm sure I could rock one with style].

  23. #23
    Senior Member Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander has a reputation beyond repute Cobra Commander's Avatar
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    I just assumed you sagged your pants because that's what I think of when I think of "hood".

    It doesn't have to be an anime shirt only, it could be a band shirt, a star trek shirt, whatever. Something that you like that you are comfortable with other people knowing that you like it. You can also get t-shirts from game companies like Blizzard, etc. Stuff like that should "open" you up to people a bit.

    It's sad that they'd be afraid to talk to you because you're bigger than them and happen to be black. That's totally stupid, but it's also not surprising.

  24. #24
    Junior Member Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420 has a reputation beyond repute Phoenix420's Avatar
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    I dont blame the people for being weary of someone with my size and demeanor because frankly I live in a place wear you should be. So that's why i'm more concerned of using a tactic to let them see they can put their guard down.

  25. #25
    Blizzard's #1 Forum Rat Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta has a reputation beyond repute Vyndrasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix420 View Post
    Whoever I have a belief that you should show who you are from the beginning that way you dont come off fake later.
    True, but one will always think the opposite end of that spectrum, with or without our control. I think it's just a matter of personality influence. You get to know the person, your walls will start to come down sooner or later. It's pretty debatable.

    I'm a pretty hefty big guy my self. I tower at 6'4" and pretty bulky. I guess I can retrace my other post and say that maybe this has happened to me. I can see boyfriends get so defensive of their girlfriends and such, just because of the way I look. But if I were to dress rather different, I'd come out more appealing or perhaps not? I wouldn't know because I'm not in the mind of another person.

    Good luck with all of this dude.

    -LV
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