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Thread: Snow.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Snow.

    It captivates our senses
    And purify's our spirit
    It cover's the fences
    We walk, stand.. dance in it

    It falls slowly and graceful
    Tiny cold beams of flakes
    Falling innocence yet tasteful
    Our warmth it takes

    It chills to the bone
    Makes the wind colder
    Reminds us of home
    Allows our mind to wander

    A transparent stretch
    Or mother natures arm
    An artists sketch
    Of a winter too long

    You can't see it coming
    It covers the roads
    A cautious sense of belonging
    Unites 'peasants and lords'

    A commonplace pleasure
    That can freeze the sea
    Snow is a treasure
    That set's the rain free.
    Fascinated by the rain, influenced by the wind. Adventure for fun.

  2. #2
    AF's Annoying Weeaboo jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3 has a reputation beyond repute jotkekarogg3's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    I see an error in the last stanza, but that's fine. Just fix that up, and well the poem was better than decent. I can't put my finger on it, but the flow seemed disturbed if that makes any sense. Just not your best, but still a pretty good one!

    Keep it up =)
    Check out Anime Globe for the latest in anime reviews and anime news!


    ~Me, when my waifu confessed her love to me~

  3. #3
    Ruler of Fire ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Miz View Post
    I see an error in the last stanza, but that's fine. Just fix that up, and well the poem was better than decent. I can't put my finger on it, but the flow seemed disturbed if that makes any sense. Just not your best, but still a pretty good one!

    Keep it up =)
    i agree with hardy the last three stanza's were detached and flow was disturbed by it and ya some errors in last stanza
    ~ai~rox~

    Thanks teed for the site info

  4. #4
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
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    Default

    That's true but it was still a good poem ^^

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  5. #5

    Default

    I cant believe this poem remains unnoticed or unappreciated by many.
    It's a really good poem. The rhythm and flow is great. Its consistent like the ebb and flow of water. The expressions and meaning are slightly deep and subtle but comes through to me. It is definitely a good poem

  6. #6
    Artistic Muse Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin's Avatar
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    Default

    I'm not a fan of snow but after reading this poem I like it. You're poem was that good. Great job! And, the last stanza was simply amazing.


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