What type of conversationalist are you?

[unspun]

I've been having a discussion with a friend of mine on the art of arguing. I would like to know what you do in an argument/debate; Do you listen to the other person, or are you just waiting for your turn to talk?

I used to be the latter. Somewhere in this forum I mentioned being a hothead and this is very true still, but while on my own personal journey of self awareness and preservation I realized that in an argument I did NOT listen to the other person at all. I didn't care about their views or ideals, I just wanted them to SHUT UP so I can prove them wrong.

When I realized that about myself I immediately wanted to change my behavior. Life is all about compromise anyways, right? So now I (almost forcefully I might add) try to listen and step outside the box in order to appreciate their point of view at least; BEFORE proving them wrong.

Take a minute to think about arguments/debates that you've had with other people. Are YOU just waiting to speak? Let the discussion begin

[Eris]

I listen to what they are saying so I can design a suitable counter-argument.

[Capernicus]

Is this about a conversation, or about a debate? In debate I do both I suppose. While listening to their points, I am construction counter-arguments so that I can win. I'm pretty competitive when it comes to those things.

[Miss Moonlight]

Both. I do a fair amount of listening, and then talk.

[Aki no iko]

I argue like no one's business. :]

[SigmaSD]

I'm not much of a talker so I tend to do most of the listening. Then i just input whatever feedback I have on the matter. If there is a flaw in their reasoning, then I provide a competent counterargument.

[3pleT]

I listen and form the counter-argument, though I'm open-minded to change my view on things. For instance, I used to think of Stalin as nothing more than a sadistic murderous tyrant until I heard this one argument, which I later investigated and verified, so now I even refuse to believe many stories about him widely accepted as facts, such as the one where he mocks his own son for failing to an hero.

[BestFly]

I basically try to keep everyone happy. I rarely go after individuals, but will go after ideas and groups of people if they irk or are just plain idiotic. Most of the time I don't care, I'm pretty laid back and accepting. But somethings make me RAGE.

[CrystalAce]

I tend to listen what is needed to be listened and then I speak what is required to be spoken.

Though sometimes, I often miscalculate what is required to be spoken and thus most of my conversations digress and expand from the original topic at hand. In the end, both me and the other guy stare at the dark abyss of oblivion thinking how insignificant both of us and our topics are, and so ends our discussion.

Though most of the times, I keep shut and give an evil smile to make my point. Not a very smooth conversationalist..., I guess.

[Acnologia]

I do more listening then talking. I find having an opinion gets me in trouble.

[DOOM!]

When in Conversation: I tend to listen, argue little, drink/smoke more and get distracted while they talk.
When in Argument: I listen, interrupt, let them talk, and when they finish, argue.
When Stoned: I listen, agree and give further ideas to the other side.

[Simon Phoenix]

i listen, point out the flaws and destroy them.

[Gero50]

I consider myself a passive person in general rather then the other kinds. So I think that can properly describe this topic and part of me too. The reason I say that I am passive is because often unless I really know the person very well, I will not begin the conversion. Though these days I am starting to get a little better with that I think.

[*Tsuki*]

Depends on my mood, really.
If they've done something to really make me mad,
then they won't have time to talk.
I'll just be screaming. ^_^

But, usually I listen to what they have to say before I start talking.

[Buruku]

I'm probably the best person to talk to in the world. I always listen genuinly, my face is extremely animated to whatever the person is saying; nods, furrowed brows, wide eyes, scoffs, mouth gaping in excitement, etc. I will let someone talk about themselves forever, give courtesy laughs even when it's not quite THAT funny. I'm always ready to give advice, sympathize, laugh, justify their anger or frustration, or whatever the situation calls for. I can take it all in without passing judgement, projecting, getting jealous, etc.

This is a valuble trait to have if you're a woman, sometimes you just need someone to listen, someone who will REALLY listen and not wait for the first second to interupt with what THEY would have done/want to do. I have a few friends who can strike a perfect balance of listening/comforting/talking and those types are really invaluable.

In arguements: Let them get it out, let them know what I do agree with-if anything. Then if it's a matter of opinion I explain why that doesn't work for me and what lead me to feel the way I do. I'm pretty calm, if you're too aggressive people shut out whatever you say and cling tighter to their beliefs. Most of the time, people just don't want to feel stupid or that their opinions are being ignored.


Edit: This applies to in person, and not IM. (Where I am mostly worthless.)

[Anime Forum]

I'll listen to their side of the story unless I'm extremely boiled with his person unknown reason. I'm usually better in a debate in person than on a forum or website because it I like it better when I can see the expression on the person's face and also it just seems smarter and more inflicting when you say it in real life than on a website.


Once their story comes to a close, I'll counter it and beat them down. Not in the fist fight way of course, but the mental way. I personally believe you can beat and destroy an enemy without the need too touch them.

[unspun]

I really like the answers you guys have posted and enjoyed reading them! I'm not picking favorites on purpose, but Buruku I loved your response and the last part is priceless advice!

[unruley700]

it all really depends on the level of drunkeness.