AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com

User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Without You

  1. #1
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
    Gil
    5,474.71
    Gender
    My Mood
    Tired
    Gifts Hot Chocolate Flowers Fan2 Wolf
    Mentioned
    59 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-03-2013 06:15 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    In Between Darkness and Light, Engulfed in Fire and Ice
    Age
    21
    Threads
    138
    Posts
    2,563
    Blog Entries
    17
    Rep Power
    2386

    Default Without You

    A poem I wrote in Social Studies class. I think I did an ok job but please give me the criticism I need lol. Hope you like it


    Without You

    Without you my day has no light
    I lose sight
    As I stumble to the ground
    Trying not to make a sound

    Without you my night has no moon
    I hope to see you soon
    As I walk about in bewilderment
    I remember the time spent

    Without you, my time has stopped
    I'm stuck, in a never ending clock
    As I'm silently awaiting
    Your return for my sake

    Without you my feelings are gone
    I have no hope anymore
    Maybe I should have told you
    The simple words of "I do"
    Last edited by Kaname Shikara; 01-11-2010 at 03:42 PM.

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  2. #2
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
    Gil
    87,496.36
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Luna Cake Lie Soras Keyblade
    Mentioned
    82 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-15-2014 11:22 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    In your dreams. =0
    Threads
    146
    Posts
    5,957
    Blog Entries
    118
    Rep Power
    6147
    Gamer IDs

    Wii Code: 1596-5790-7816-3407

    Default

    Its good, I can see what you are trying to say. But sometimes it sounds as if you try too hard to rhyme. Second line in the first stanza is kind of short so maybe you can find a way to make it a bit longer.

    My favorite line was "I'm stuck, in a never ending clock." I was just awe struck when I read it.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  3. #3
    Dragon Of Earth Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma has a reputation beyond repute Fuuma's Avatar
    Gil
    2,004.50
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    01-11-2010 03:45 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Earth
    Threads
    1
    Posts
    98
    Rep Power
    105

    Default

    How Romantic. i loved it.

  4. #4
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
    Gil
    5,474.71
    Gender
    My Mood
    Tired
    Gifts Hot Chocolate Flowers Fan2 Wolf
    Mentioned
    59 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-03-2013 06:15 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    In Between Darkness and Light, Engulfed in Fire and Ice
    Age
    21
    Threads
    138
    Posts
    2,563
    Blog Entries
    17
    Rep Power
    2386

    Default

    Thanks to both of you ^^

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts