My Insanity

[Simon Phoenix]

Dwellers and Tenants suffer from the Chemist who's Mind's gone Menaced/
Remnents of Bodies and Souls without Pennits, Sentenced to Eternity in Firey Tenaments/
Screeches and Far Cries,Demons with Dark Eyes,in your Mind Going Threw Archives/
Keep your Thoughts Deep in the Dark and Away from the Sunshine, Separated like Apartheid/
these Ghosts are after ur Sanity,Satans Reach to Humanity/
Murder and Vanity,get ya Caught for Eternity/
Cathedrals and Churches are the Meccas of Worship/
Get ya Life for a Price,a Worth wile Purchase/
on The Surface ur Calm,but Deep Down your Cursed like the Eath is/
The Minority helps the Majority see the Priority/
War Torn Glory is Statutory for Purgatory/
a Gorey Orgasm Spawns Demons that Claim to be Yours on Maury/
a Flurry of Paper Dents ur Pockets like Craters/
a caper of Destruction,Plots,Rumors and Corruption/
Shots pass by you like Nothin, Feels like Noone can Touchem/
no Ogre can Lunchem,no Boxer can Punchem,noone can Defeat him, just sit back and feed him/

[Fuuma]

weird thing to read, confusing that i actually understood that. nice work.

[SigmaSD]

It sounded like a rap song to me. Some parts sounded like you wrote them just to rhyme. Like the sentence with "Maury" I was like @.@ .

What was your approach when writing this? I saw it as an act to inspire retaliation against evil.

[Simon Phoenix]

it sounded like rap probley cuz thats what i'm into and thats how it just came off,but i wrote it because i'm sick and tired of bad ppl doing bad things, and so i just went nuts writing it, i'm surprised i understood it to lol.

[ultra_maniac]

man good first rap poetry little confusing when u see it but amazing dude

[Kaname Shikara]

It is confusing lol but great poem

[Simon Phoenix]

lol, i know i was just as confused writing it, thx for the feedback

[Kirei Shijin]

It sounded like a rap song to me. Some parts sounded like you wrote them just to rhyme. Like the sentence with "Maury" I was like @.@ .

What was your approach when writing this? I saw it as an act to inspire retaliation against evil.

I do agree with him. I love rhyming, but to be honest, the rhyming might have seemed a little much. Remember, everything should be in moderation.

Though some details in the poem confused me, as a whole I understood it. My initial reaction was "Wow." This is a really great poem.

In the third line though you should change Threw to Through.

[Simon Phoenix]

i know, i noticed that. lol

[Simon Phoenix]

I do agree with him. I love rhyming, but to be honest, the rhyming might have seemed a little much. Remember, everything should be in moderation.

Though some details in the poem confused me, as a whole I understood it. My initial reaction was "Wow." This is a really great poem.

In the third line though you should change Threw to Through.

i like using multi's.....multiple rhymes in 1 sentance.