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Thread: I understand

  1. #1
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
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    Default I understand

    Another one that is like... O.o; bad, so, deleted
    Last edited by Kaname Shikara; 05-05-2011 at 05:19 PM.

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  2. #2
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    No poem is bad, you just have to rearrange things sometime. In my opinion it was okay I got the message you were trying to give off in the poem. The one thing I see though is that you separated the sentence in weird places which threw off the flow of the poem. I think it was because you were trying too hard to rhyme, which is what most of us have trouble with. Always remember that you dont always have to rhyme. I well written non-rhyming poem is always better than a rhyming poem if it gets the point across better.

    Though you dont have much to do, just change some lines so that you're not cutting into the rhythm of the poem.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

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  3. #3
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
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    Ok ^^ thank you for letting me know

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  4. #4
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SigmaSD View Post
    No poem is bad, you just have to rearrange things sometime. In my opinion it was okay I got the message you were trying to give off in the poem. The one thing I see though is that you separated the sentence in weird places which threw off the flow of the poem. I think it was because you were trying too hard to rhyme, which is what most of us have trouble with. Always remember that you dont always have to rhyme. I well written non-rhyming poem is always better than a rhyming poem if it gets the point across better.

    Though you dont have much to do, just change some lines so that you're not cutting into the rhythm of the poem.
    i agree with him just try to match the flow with sentences you'll get the perfect meaning and amazing grace and texture to it
    ~ai~rox~

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  5. #5
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
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    Thank you for commenting I'll try to do better next time. I'm working on a new poem as of right now so i'll be posting it when I get home ^^

    Amazing set by
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    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



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