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Thread: Koi ni Ochitara, Give Me More, and HIGHER Translation

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    Default Koi ni Ochitara, Give Me More, and HIGHER Translation

    I shall say now the translations below (if you want to call them that) are exactly the reason why I shouldn't be trying to translate things after I've been awake for 24+ hours the atrocities and kanji are below

    Give Me More (Mitsuki Saiga)

    give me
    悲劇という喜劇な快楽
    愉快にもがいてみて
    give me
    破れる夢、残酷なさだめ
    ボクをたのしませて please

    Give Me
    Tragic/cruel remarks and a good show
    I'm struggling to see good^ (as in "the good of/in things")
    Give Me
    Broken dreams and a cruel fate
    Let me have some fun please

    あの日ボクは学んだ
    信頼は哀しみさ
    きっと綺麗な絵空事ほしがる
    勝手なこころの解釈

    That day I learned
    to rely on my sorrow
    That pretty delusion makes me feel
    That my selfish heart is surely owed an explanation
    *(I couldn't figure out how to make this stanza go smoothly)

    そうさいつかは消える
    ものばかり信じて
    今かなしむより
    わらいながら
    さあ、こわそう

    By believing only one thing...
    That surely that "one day" will disappear
    I shall soon escape this sorrow
    Now be intimidated
    While I laugh

    give me
    天使というふしだらな悪魔
    可憐に溺れてみて
    give me
    力尽きて、ZEROになるいのち
    ボクをたのしませて please

    Give Me
    Angelic words and slovenly demons
    Indulging in sweetness
    Give Me
    Exhaustion of my powers my life(force) hitting zero
    Let me have some fun please

    君が刻んでくれた
    裏切りは憎しみに
    剥がした瘡蓋は思い出
    ままごとみたいな傷口

    You engraved
    a hateful betrayal [in me]
    Peeling off an old scab [releasing] memories
    It seems my injuries will remain as they are

    そうさお茶でものんで
    映画を見るように
    今このせかいが
    くずれるのを
    ただ、ながめよう

    Yeah, like having a cup of tea
    While watching a movie
    Let's just gaze
    At the world
    Crumbling before us right now


    look out
    空は今日も綺麗すぎる蒼
    虚しさで満ちてゆく
    wake up
    ありもしない夢から目覚めて
    ボクと楽しもうか please

    Look Out
    Today's sky is too beautiful a blue
    Approaching an empty fulfillment
    Wake Up
    I won't stop pursuing/aiming for my dream
    Won't [you] let me enjoy myself? Please

    give me
    悲劇という喜劇な快楽
    愉快にもがいてみて
    give me
    破れる夢、残酷なさだめ
    ボクをたのしませて please

    Give Me
    Tragic/cruel remarks and a good show
    I'm struggling to see good
    Give Me
    Broken dreams and a cruel fate
    Let me have some fun please
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    I assume you're all cringing now but there are two others I did those being Robert Haydn's song HIGHER from The Law of Ueki and Koi ni Ochitara by Yoshinori Fujita (below this one) they've got to be fail-tastic as well

    HIGHER (Mitsuki Saiga)

    もしも理想が現実ならば
    そんな儚いのぞみ抱えて
    誰もがみな苦しみ、哀しみを
    ユメやキボウで隠した

    If the ideal reality
    Carried such fleeting expectations
    Anyone and everyone would suffer from sorrows
    Hiding their hopes and dreams

    キリのないため息ばかりで
    茨の道 選び歩くの?
    本当は何処にいきたいの?

    The mist disappearing I just sigh
    Which thorny path will I choose to walk?
    Where do I really want to go?

    I WILL TAKE YOU HIGH, SO TAKE YOU HIGH
    知らない何処か
    あなたのすべて連れてゆくよ
    fade away… こんな苦しみは
    最後にして

    I will take you high, so take you high
    I'll go take all of you
    [But] I don't know where should I go?
    Fade away...such anguish/pain
    Is ending

    I WILL TAKE YOU HIGH, SO TAKE YOU HIGH
    夢の向こうへ
    痛みなど感じない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    I will take you high, so take you high
    The world hasn't felt pain equal to mine
    Going beyond my dream
    Where in my sure heart
    is that thing I long for?

    ゆめのしゃぼんに包まれながら
    遥か彼方へ空より高く
    ここにある現実逃げ出せば
    握るその手を放せば

    While enveloped a vision of soap bubbles
    [Came] out of a picture of that vast far off sky
    From here I can escape from reality
    Releasing these seized hands

    しかたないあきらめ重ねて
    誰のために闘うのでしょう
    本当は何になりたいの?

    There's no way I'll give up what I've gained/collected
    I'm trying to struggle aren't I?
    Who/what do I really want to be(come)?

    I WILL TAKE YOU HIGH, SO TAKE YOU HIGH
    果てしない場所
    あなたはきっと満たされてく
    melt away… しゃぼんのなかで
    夢をどうぞ

    I will take you high, so take you high
    An endless place
    You surely want to fill
    Melt away...Amidst the soap bubbles
    By all means dream!

    I WILL TAKE YOU HIGH, SO TAKE YOU HIGH
    明日より遠く
    涙など流れない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    I will take you high, so take you high
    The world hasn't been washed in tears like me
    From the distant tomorrow
    Where in my sure heart
    is that thing I long for?

    I WILL TAKE YOU HIGH, SO TAKE YOU HIGH
    知らない何処か
    あなたのすべて連れてゆくよ
    fade away… こんな苦しみは
    最後にして

    I will take you high, so take you high
    I'll go take all of you
    [But] I don't know where should I go?
    Fade away...such anguish/pain
    Is ending

    I WILL TAKE YOU HIGH, SO TAKE YOU HIGH
    夢の向こうへ
    痛みなど感じない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    I will take you high, so take you high
    The world hasn't felt pain equal to mine
    Going beyond my dream
    Where in my sure heart
    is that thing I long for?
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    (For the song Koi ni Ochitara by Yoshinori Fujita) this song isn't currently on the site but I got around to submitting the romaji and kanji a short time ago)

    初めてふたり並んで歩く そう それでもう恋人になった気分
    みつけた襟足いじる癖 もう あなたを全部わかってるつもりさ

    For the first time, we line up, walking already seeming like we've become sweethearts;
    You find the hair at the back of your neck and tamper with it habitually. I've already figured out all your intentions.

    いつだって後悔ばかりしてたから 今回の恋 絶対 気持ちちゃんと伝えたいから
    At any time, you've been nothing but a remorseful void lately (so) I want to convey the feeling of absolute love perfectly (to you)

    輝くあなたはキラキラそのままで
    だからね僕は強くなるってきめたよ あなた守るためにずっと

    Shining, you're glimmering now,
    So I resolve to become stronger to protect you always.

    寂しくなる夜もあるけど ねえ あなたはそんなとき誰想うの?
    I'm growing lonely tonight but... hey? Who do you think of at such a moment?

    恋なんて簡単なことって気づいた 単純で良いんだって ただ素直に想いぶつけよう
    "What a love!" such simple words makes one realize simplicity is nice; soley docile feelings will get hit hard.

    コタエはあなたのドキドキにあるよね?
    だからね僕は自信持っていいんだよね? あなたに誓う愛をずっと

    Your answer is your pounding heart, isn't it?
    So I carry self-confidence; that's good isn't it? I swear to love you always.

    つまらないドラマみたいな恋でもいいよ ハッピーエンドなら

    Love can seem like a joyless drama, but it's okay because there's a happy ending.

    ささやくあなたの声が離れなくて 電話のメモリー眺めてはかけれないんだよ
    いつもあなたはキラキラそのままで
    僕には見えてるのさ ふたりの未来 すぐにきっと重なるはずさ

    I can't let go of your soft voice; I gazed at your number in my phone's memory^ but just couldn't dial.
    You're always shining now;
    I see that our futures should surely overlap soon.

    ^ The phrase was "denwa no MEMORII" I take it this is referring to the phone book app. or contacts list feature that phones have
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    *Hides in corner*
    Last edited by SakuraFox512; 01-02-2010 at 03:34 PM.

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    I'll get back with looking more at your t/ls later but for now

    そうさお茶でものんで
    映画を見るように
    今このせかいが
    くずれるのを
    ただ、ながめよう
    Yea, like having a cup of tea
    And watching a movie
    Let's just gaze at
    The world right now
    Crumbling before us


    ささやくあなたの声が離れなくて 電話のメモリー眺めてはかけれないんだよ
    I just can't let go of your soft voice, I can't bring myself to call you, just staring at your number on my phone
    I'd fancy myself taking it further to "just a button press from calling" because I'm too poetic.

    祝! 『禁断の病棟』 アニメ化!

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    Quote Originally Posted by AzureDark View Post
    I'll get back with looking more at your t/ls later but for now

    そうさお茶でものんで
    映画を見るように
    今このせかいが
    くずれるのを
    ただ、ながめよう
    Yea, like having a cup of tea
    And watching a movie
    Let's just gaze at
    The world right now
    Crumbling before us


    ささやくあなたの声が離れなくて 電話のメモリー眺めてはかけれないんだよ
    I just can't let go of your soft voice, I can't bring myself to call you, just staring at your number on my phone
    I'd fancy myself taking it further to "just a button press from calling" because I'm too poetic.
    Thank you very much for the help on "Give Me More" I was having a lot of trouble with that one line in particular

    As for "Koi ni Ochitara" I'm not quite sure where I want to go with that line as of yet (if you see it change numerous times here don't be surprised) but it's helped me think of different ways I could go about it thanks

    How does the rest look?

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    give me
    悲劇という喜劇な快楽
    愉快にもがいてみて

    give me
    A comic pleasure called a tragedy
    Try struggling pleasantly/enjoyably

    "XというY" means "a Y called X." "-てみる" is a construction meaning "to try doing"; hence "もがいてみる" is "to try struggling" and "もがいてみて" is the command form. "愉快に" I think means that the struggle is pleasant/enjoyable for the singer, who is watching it.

    あの日ボクは学んだ
    信頼は哀しみさ
    きっと綺麗な絵空事ほしがる
    勝手なこころの解釈

    That day I learned
    That reliance/relying on others/having faith in others is sorrow (or "only leads to sorrow," if you want to take some license)
    Surely my selfish heart's explanation
    Wants a beautiful delusion

    "信頼は哀しみさ" is just a straight-up "X is Y" statement in my opinion. "ほしがる" is "to want," and since it's in plain form and before a noun phrase I think the entire third line is probably modifying 勝手なこころの解釈. It's a little awkward-sounding, but that's what I can make of the grammar.

    そうさいつかは消える
    ものばかり信じて
    今かなしむより
    わらいながら
    さあ、こわそう

    Yes, believing only
    in things that will someday disappear
    Now, rather than being sad
    I laugh
    As you seem afraid*

    "いつかは消える" is "to someday disappear," and again the whole thing is modifying "もの" in the next line. "XするよりYする" is "to do Y more than/rather than/instead of X." I... am actually pretty iffy on that last line myself, but "こわそう" is, I think, "seems afraid" and it's not a command.

    give me
    天使というふしだらな悪魔
    可憐に溺れてみて
    give me
    力尽きて、ZEROになるいのち

    give me
    A slovenly demon called an angel
    Try drowning pitifully
    Give me
    Your power being exhausted, your life going down to zero

    Grammar issues in the first two Japanese lines are basically the same as in the first stanza. As for the third Japanese line, your translation isn't that far off the mark, but I think that the subject is "you" rather than "I"; it seems like the singer gets pleasure/entertainment out of watching others struggle and die. Typical villainous stuff here.

    君が刻んでくれた
    裏切りは憎しみに
    剥がした瘡蓋は思い出
    ままごとみたいな傷口

    The betrayal you engraved on me
    Became hate
    The scab I peel off is a memory
    My wounds are like playing house (?)

    In the line "裏切りは憎しみに" there's an implied なるthat's been left off at the end. I think the implied end of "剥がした瘡蓋は思い出" is more likely to simply be です than something like "を放つ," simply because if it were something more uncommon they probably wouldn't leave it out. As for the last line, it seems a bit fishy to me, but "playing house" is the only definition I can find for "ままごと." Take it with a grain of salt; I've never encountered the word before.

    ありもしない夢から目覚めて

    Awaken from (your) nonexistent dreams

    ありもしない (or ありはしない) is basically just a fancy/poetic way of saying "ない", here being used to modify 夢, hence "nonexistent dreams." 目覚めて is the te-form of 目覚める, to wake up, probably being used as a command.

    もしも理想が現実ならば
    そんな儚いのぞみ抱えて

    If ideals were reality
    Then, carrying such fleeting wishes
    (Anyone and everyone would... etc)

    Just a small thing, but the first line is a separate clause from the second, and I think 誰もみな is who's doing the carrying.

    キリのないため息ばかりで
    茨の道 選び歩くの?
    本当は何処にいきたいの?

    With only endless sighs
    Will (you) choose to walk the thorny path?
    Where (do you) really want to go?

    キリのない means endless/boundless. There's no "which" in the second line; it's a yes-or-no question. I can't be sure about the subject, but I personally would go with "you" in keeping with the whole "villain talking to his victim" thing. (This song and the first one are for the same character, right?)

    知らない何処か
    あなたのすべて連れてゆくよ
    fade away… こんな苦しみは
    最後にして

    I will take all of you
    To an unknown place/somewhere you don't know
    fade away... This pain/suffering/distress
    Will be the last thing (you feel)

    Argh, I'm getting tired and I'm not sure I can explain this well. 知らない何処か is basically "an unknown place" and isn't a complete sentence on its own so it's probably referring to where he'll take them. 最後にする isn't "to end" but "to be the last (something)."

    夢の向こうへ
    痛みなど感じない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    Beyond the dream
    Is a world where pain is not felt (you can take some license with this -- "a world free from pain" or something of that sort)
    Surely somewhere in your heart
    You desire that

    Blah, again with the inability to explain, though I will say that "きっと" is just surely/certainly; it can't ever be used as an adjective. And どこか is always "somewhere," never "where"; it could be used in a question, but only to ask "does ____ exist somewhere?" rather than "where is _____?" Which is a moot point really, because there's no question mark or か or anything at the end, so it's not a question.

    ゆめのしゃぼんに包まれながら
    遥か彼方へ空より高く
    ここにある現実逃げ出せば
    握るその手を放せば

    While enveloped in the soap bubble of (your) dream
    (You go) to a distant place, higher than the sky
    If you run away from the reality that is here
    If you let go of the hand you tightly grasp

    "[noun]より[adjective]" is "more [adjective] than [noun]." Note the conditional せば endings on those last two lines.

    しかたないあきらめ重ねて
    誰のために闘うのでしょう
    本当は何になりたいの?

    It can't be helped, so just give up
    For whose sake do you fight?
    What do you really want to be?

    Again going with "you" for the subject. I suspect the te-form in the first line is a command.

    あなたはきっと満たされてく
    melt away… しゃぼんのなかで

    Surely you are becoming satisfied
    melt away... inside a bubble

    満たす can be "to fill," but it's more likely to be "to satisfy", especially in this context. I would read しゃぼんのなか as "in a bubble" rather than "amidst the bubbles"; anyway, isn't this guy's power to enclose people in bubbles and then make them float into the sky and then go splat? I haven't actually seen the series, but I know of it, and I seem to remember that.

    明日より遠く
    涙など流れない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    Farther away than tomorrow
    (Is) a world where tears don't flow
    Surely somewhere in your heart
    You desire that

    Same grammar notes as in the previous parallel stanza, basically.

    ... and I'll tackle the last song later. Hope that was some help to you.

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    Thanks for responding and helping out I noticed some of my errors were tired mistakes while others were genuine oversight on my part specific comments/questions are below

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    give me
    悲劇という喜劇な快楽
    愉快にもがいてみて

    give me
    A comic pleasure called a tragedy
    Try struggling pleasantly/enjoyably

    "XというY" means "a Y called X." "-てみる" is a construction meaning "to try doing"; hence "もがいてみる" is "to try struggling" and "もがいてみて" is the command form. "愉快に" I think means that the struggle is pleasant/enjoyable for the singer, who is watching it.
    ....Okay I feel a bit dumb for missing the "という-to iu" I think I thought "と-to" as in "and" here and took "いう-iu" as "remark" instead of taking them together as "known as/called"
    "もがいてみて-mogaite mite" that sounds about right considering what the first line was meant to be no comment otherwise

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    あの日ボクは学んだ
    信頼は哀しみさ
    きっと綺麗な絵空事ほしがる
    勝手なこころの解釈

    That day I learned
    That reliance/relying on others/having faith in others is sorrow (or "only leads to sorrow," if you want to take some license)
    Surely my selfish heart's explanation
    Wants a beautiful delusion

    "信頼は哀しみさ" is just a straight-up "X is Y" statement in my opinion. "ほしがる" is "to want," and since it's in plain form and before a noun phrase I think the entire third line is probably modifying 勝手なこころの解釈. It's a little awkward-sounding, but that's what I can make of the grammar.
    Thanks so much for this stanza this was one part that angered me to no end particularly what I originally had the second line (in the entire stanza) written as
    in short I may have been able to manage "きっと綺麗な絵空事ほしがる
    勝手なこころの解釈" properly with some more thought but it still wouldn't have made sense to me otherwise without straitening out "信頼は哀しみさ"

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    そうさいつかは消える
    ものばかり信じて
    今かなしむより
    わらいながら
    さあ、こわそう

    Yes, believing only
    in things that will someday disappear
    Now, rather than being sad
    I laugh
    As you seem afraid*

    "いつかは消える" is "to someday disappear," and again the whole thing is modifying "もの" in the next line. "XするよりYする" is "to do Y more than/rather than/instead of X." I... am actually pretty iffy on that last line myself, but "こわそう" is, I think, "seems afraid" and it's not a command.
    Looking over my original writing for this stanza I'm not sure how or why I screwed it up so much considering it's not that complicated except the last line

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    give me
    天使というふしだらな悪魔
    可憐に溺れてみて
    give me
    力尽きて、ZEROになるいのち

    give me
    A slovenly demon called an angel
    Try drowning pitifully
    Give me
    Your power being exhausted, your life going down to zero

    Grammar issues in the first two Japanese lines are basically the same as in the first stanza. As for the third Japanese line, your translation isn't that far off the mark, but I think that the subject is "you" rather than "I"; it seems like the singer gets pleasure/entertainment out of watching others struggle and die. Typical villainous stuff here.
    As you said the subject should be "you" it really doesn't seem sane otherwise my thought for using "my" was likely due to me thinking of one of his powers (creating a more ideal version of an object at the cost one year of his life) still....it was a bit dumb of me

    I did the same "という-to iu" thing here

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    君が刻んでくれた
    裏切りは憎しみに
    剥がした瘡蓋は思い出
    ままごとみたいな傷口

    The betrayal you engraved on me
    Became hate
    The scab I peel off is a memory
    My wounds are like playing house (?)

    In the line "裏切りは憎しみに" there's an implied なるthat's been left off at the end. I think the implied end of "剥がした瘡蓋は思い出" is more likely to simply be です than something like "を放つ," simply because if it were something more uncommon they probably wouldn't leave it out. As for the last line, it seems a bit fishy to me, but "playing house" is the only definition I can find for "ままごと." Take it with a grain of salt; I've never encountered the word before.
    Agreed as far as "ままごと-mama goto" is concerned that is the only meaning I could find as well but the reason I translated it as
    "ままごとみたいな傷口-mama goto mitai na kizuguchi"
    /"It seems my injuries will remain as they are" was at least partially because well..."mama" refers to the state of something right? (ex. Sono mama) In this case I figured he was refering to his injuries/wounds from said betrayal remaining as they were
    that is not healing

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    ありもしない夢から目覚めて

    Awaken from (your) nonexistent dreams

    ありもしない (or ありはしない) is basically just a fancy/poetic way of saying "ない", here being used to modify 夢, hence "nonexistent dreams." 目覚めて is the te-form of 目覚める, to wake up, probably being used as a command.
    No comment

    next one...
    HIGHER


    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    もしも理想が現実ならば
    そんな儚いのぞみ抱えて

    If ideals were reality
    Then, carrying such fleeting wishes
    (Anyone and everyone would... etc)

    Just a small thing, but the first line is a separate clause from the second, and I think 誰もみな is who's doing the carrying.
    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    キリのないため息ばかりで
    茨の道 選び歩くの?
    本当は何処にいきたいの?

    With only endless sighs
    Will (you) choose to walk the thorny path?
    Where (do you) really want to go?

    キリのない means endless/boundless. There's no "which" in the second line; it's a yes-or-no question. I can't be sure about the subject, but I personally would go with "you" in keeping with the whole "villain talking to his victim" thing. (This song and the first one are for the same character, right?)
    Yes this song and the first are for the same character and considering the lines in the next verse I'd say it's a safe bet to choose "you"

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    知らない何処か
    あなたのすべて連れてゆくよ
    fade away… こんな苦しみは
    最後にして

    I will take all of you
    To an unknown place/somewhere you don't know
    fade away... This pain/suffering/distress
    Will be the last thing (you feel)

    Argh, I'm getting tired and I'm not sure I can explain this well. 知らない何処か is basically "an unknown place" and isn't a complete sentence on its own so it's probably referring to where he'll take them. 最後にする isn't "to end" but "to be the last (something)."

    夢の向こうへ
    痛みなど感じない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    Beyond the dream
    Is a world where pain is not felt (you can take some license with this -- "a world free from pain" or something of that sort)
    Surely somewhere in your heart
    You desire that

    Blah, again with the inability to explain, though I will say that "きっと" is just surely/certainly; it can't ever be used as an adjective. And どこか is always "somewhere," never "where"; it could be used in a question, but only to ask "does ____ exist somewhere?" rather than "where is _____?" Which is a moot point really, because there's no question mark or か or anything at the end, so it's not a question.
    Not much to say here but thanks for pointing out the specifics for "きっと-kitto" and "どこか-doko ka"

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    ゆめのしゃぼんに包まれながら
    遥か彼方へ空より高く
    ここにある現実逃げ出せば
    握るその手を放せば

    While enveloped in the soap bubble of (your) dream
    (You go) to a distant place, higher than the sky
    If you run away from the reality that is here
    If you let go of the hand you tightly grasp

    "[noun]より[adjective]" is "more [adjective] than [noun]." Note the conditional せば endings on those last two lines.

    しかたないあきらめ重ねて
    誰のために闘うのでしょう
    本当は何になりたいの?

    It can't be helped, so just give up
    For whose sake do you fight?
    What do you really want to be?

    Again going with "you" for the subject. I suspect the te-form in the first line is a command.

    あなたはきっと満たされてく
    melt away… しゃぼんのなかで

    Surely you are becoming satisfied
    melt away... inside a bubble

    満たす can be "to fill," but it's more likely to be "to satisfy", especially in this context. I would read しゃぼんのなか as "in a bubble" rather than "amidst the bubbles"; anyway, isn't this guy's power to enclose people in bubbles and then make them float into the sky and then go splat? I haven't actually seen the series, but I know of it, and I seem to remember that.
    His other power allows him to trap someone in a bubble and affect the gravity within it so yeah I don't watch it much but I like the voice cast and Haydn is somewhat interesting in my opinion

    But anyway "satisfied" could work but then I'm not sure how the line before it would work

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    明日より遠く
    涙など流れない世界
    きっとこころのどこかで
    それを望んでる

    Farther away than tomorrow
    (Is) a world where tears don't flow
    Surely somewhere in your heart
    You desire that

    Same grammar notes as in the previous parallel stanza, basically.
    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    ... and I'll tackle the last song later. Hope that was some help to you.
    It was and I'll check over it ("Koi ni Ochitara") some myself a little later today (and check back here later for your "Koi ni Ochitara" analysis)

    On a final note are you sure you wouldn't care to be the one to submit translations for these? You seem to have cleaned up the majority of things in them so I'm not sure it's right of me to do so

    P.S. How do I give rep?
    Last edited by SakuraFox512; 01-05-2010 at 08:04 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SakuraFox512 View Post
    On a final note are you sure you wouldn't care to be the one to submit translations for these? You seem to have cleaned up the majority of things in them so I'm not sure it's right of me to do so

    P.S. How do I give rep?
    It's fine! Goodness knows I needed some of my earlier translations reworked to this extent, and no one who helped me then ever submitted the song him- or herself. You can credit me in a footnote or something if you really want to.

    About the rep-giving, I really don't know -- I've been on this forum for a while, but I've never really bothered figuring out all the bells and whistles.

    Anyway, about Koi ni Ochitara:

    初めてふたり並んで歩く そう それでもう恋人になった気分
    みつけた襟足いじる癖 もう あなたを全部わかってるつもりさ

    Your translations for these two lines are mostly good! Personally, I'd suggest using "walking side-by-side" instead of "lined up" and "play with" instead of "tamper with," but you can take or leave that. The one error is that the "intentions" belong to the singer rather than the other person -- "I plan to get to know everything about you."

    寂しくなる夜もあるけど

    This is more like "though there are nights when I'm lonely"; note that it doesn't specify "tonight."

    恋なんて簡単なことって気づいた 単純で良いんだって ただ素直に想いぶつけよう

    I realized that love is a simple thing, and because simplicity is good, I'll just honestly confront my feelings.

    Okay, なんて is hard to explain, but 恋なんて簡単なこと is basically like 恋は簡単なこと but with an added air of disbelief. だって (sometimes) means "because." 素直 can mean docile, but it can also mean honest/true, and in songs about love you'll see it used in that way a lot -- singers are always going on about their 素直な気持ち and whatnot.

    だからね僕は自信持っていいんだよね?

    I would say something more like "so it's good/okay that I have self-confidence, right?" The way you have it isn't incorrect, but it's a little unwieldy.

    That's about all I have to say about that. All in all, that one's a much nicer translation job, maybe because you had time to look over it after you'd gotten some sleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    寂しくなる夜もあるけど

    This is more like "though there are nights when I'm lonely"; note that it doesn't specify "tonight."
    Right "yoru" just means "night"
    I think I tripped up with the "naru" there "naru" means "growing/becoming" right? And both of those word imply as something is happening so I figured it was present tense (tonight/this night) I'm not trying to disagree with what you said here by any means (please don't take it as such) but I am confused as to where the "naru" went is there something about that word I don't know?

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    恋なんて簡単なことって気づいた 単純で良いんだって ただ素直に想いぶつけよう

    I realized that love is a simple thing, and because simplicity is good, I'll just honestly confront my feelings.

    Okay, なんて is hard to explain, but 恋なんて簡単なこと is basically like 恋は簡単なこと but with an added air of disbelief. だって (sometimes) means "because." 素直 can mean docile, but it can also mean honest/true, and in songs about love you'll see it used in that way a lot -- singers are always going on about their 素直な気持ち and whatnot.
    Thank you very much on this line if you couldn't tell it was confusing and angering me to no end

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    That's about all I have to say about that. All in all, that one's a much nicer translation job, maybe because you had time to look over it after you'd gotten some sleep.
    Thank you ^_^

    I have one other question if you wouldn't mind answering
    the line below
    いつだって後悔ばかりしてたから 今回の恋 絶対 気持ちちゃんと伝えたいから
    I translated as "At any time, you've been nothing but a remorseful void lately (so) I want to convey the feeling of absolute love perfectly (to you)"

    The usage of "At any time" and "lately" in the same phrase isn't proper (or at least I'm pretty sure it isn't they seem contradictory) but the kanji uses "いつだって-Itsudatte-At any time/always" and "今回-Konkai-This time/lately" so...I'm not sure what to do is there any other way it could be taken?

    Wrapping this post up I have submitted the translation (I already submitted the romaji and kanji previously) for "Give Me More" and found that there was no foot note field >_< also sorry for the late reply
    Last edited by SakuraFox512; 01-14-2010 at 07:06 PM.

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    Just put the footnote you want to put up along with the t/l in the same textfield, everybody does that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SakuraFox512 View Post
    Right "yoru" just means "night"
    I think I tripped up with the "naru" there "naru" means "growing/becoming" right? And both of those word imply as something is happening so I figured it was present tense (tonight/this night) I'm not trying to disagree with what you said here by any means (please don't take it as such) but I am confused as to where the "naru" went is there something about that word I don't know?
    Whoops, apologies for the confusing simplification -- literally it would be something like "although there are nights where I become lonely" or "although there are nights which become lonely."


    Quote Originally Posted by SakuraFox512 View Post
    I have one other question if you wouldn't mind answering
    the line below
    いつだって後悔ばかりしてたから 今回の恋 絶対 気持ちちゃんと伝えたいから
    I translated as "At any time, you've been nothing but a remorseful void lately (so) I want to convey the feeling of absolute love perfectly (to you)"

    The usage of "At any time" and "lately" in the same phrase isn't proper (or at least I'm pretty sure it isn't they seem contradictory) but the kanji uses "いつだって-Itsudatte-At any time/always" and "今回-Konkai-This time/lately" so...I'm not sure what to do is there any other way it could be taken?
    Oops again -- I missed that one. The 今回 applies to the second part of the sentence, not the first -- "you're always full of regrets, so now/this time I want to..."

    Also, huh, I didn't realize the footnote field disappeared when you submit a translation for romaji that are already on the site. Weird.
    Last edited by bluepenguin; 01-14-2010 at 11:06 PM.

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    Just a little follow-up (I hope the admins or mods won't hate me for necro posting... )

    @bluepenguin

    I've now submitted all three translations and have credited you in the footnotes for "HIGHER" and "Koi ni Ochitara" (apparently AzureDark explained how to do so in the post above yours ^_^; )

    Quote Originally Posted by bluepenguin View Post
    Whoops, apologies for the confusing simplification -- literally it would be something like "although there are nights where I become lonely" or "although there are nights which become lonely."
    I'm late on the response here but no need to apologize
    I'm still a bit unsure on certain things so when I hear (or in this case don't hear) what I've already established for a word it throws me off a bit >_< in simpler form I suppose it comes down to "my lack of knowledge or confidence in my knowledge causes me to be overly-literal"

    @AzureDark (I put your name in larger text due to the color)

    As far as in-site questions such as putting the footnote in the translation field if the romaji has already be submitted go why wouldn't it just be easier to keep the footnote field up for translations or just entirely take the footnote field down and let people write the footnotes for their romaji in the romaji field as well? (Am I making sense?)

    Also a simpler question why isn't there a "submit kanji" option for songs that weren't submitted like the "submit translation" button? It seems like it would be simpler than doing that than going through the forums

    Don't take it a bad way I'm just kind of curious

    Aside from that why can't I change "my mood"?
    Last edited by SakuraFox512; 02-21-2010 at 05:10 PM.

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    You can change your mood by clicking on it on your top-right hand side on the header.

    There's only one footnote field for a lyric, and maybe the transliterator had written something in it. In any case the submitter for the translation can't overwrite this field. Putting them in the same place with the romaji field doesn't help either since people would think it's part of the lyric when they're in the same column as the romaji.

    We don't have any restriction on kanji submission BUT giving them Lv.0s a chance to put up something in the queue will make them go and spam mostly stolen lyrics. You can try and imagine how much garbage the desperate ones are already piling the site up...

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    Quote Originally Posted by AzureDark View Post
    You can change your mood by clicking on it on your top-right hand side on the header.

    There's only one footnote field for a lyric, and maybe the transliterator had written something in it. In any case the submitter for the translation can't overwrite this field. Putting them in the same place with the romaji field doesn't help either since people would think it's part of the lyric when they're in the same column as the romaji.

    We don't have any restriction on kanji submission BUT giving them Lv.0s a chance to put up something in the queue will make them go and spam mostly stolen lyrics. You can try and imagine how much garbage the desperate ones are already piling the site up...
    (My mood) I tried already it just links me here
    http://www.animeforum.com/#
    and it told me I could vote on a 1-5 scale everyday (which is a lie because it wouldn't let me do so after the first day anyway) *confused*

    As for the garbage Lv. 0s put in yes I could imagine
    but I'm sure that's different from knowing (and having to be the one to clean it out)
    Last edited by SakuraFox512; 02-21-2010 at 05:02 PM.

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    What browser are you using? The mood thing does link to http://www.animeforum.com/# but it also will display a drop-down list when you click it. And the scale thingy doesn't work right now.

    Though I can understand your problem with this, sometimes the drop-downs don't work on Firefox at my end.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AzureDark View Post
    What browser are you using? The mood thing does link to http://www.animeforum.com/# but it also will display a drop-down list when you click it. And the scale thingy doesn't work right now.

    Though I can understand your problem with this, sometimes the drop-downs don't work on Firefox at my end.
    I'm using Google Chrome on this junky laptop
    I normally use Firefox on the desktop back home but this thing doesn't have it >_<

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