I know the guidelines said to point out the minor corrections to the original submitter via PM or e-mail but when I try to e-mail it simply says "That user has specified that they do not wish to receive emails" AND they have not been on the site since January of last year so a PM wouldn't do any good
My corrections are minor and regard a few incorrect words that could not be other readings given the kanji (which I just submitted along with my translation) in order the edits are...
Hikari ni tsutsumarete arawareru
^ Original = "tsudumarete"
Nagai nagai mimi ga sora wo sasu toki
^minor edit original lyrics said "susu"
なぜだ なぜだ 魂焦がす炎
Naze da? Naze da? Tamashii kogasu honoo
^how the heck did the original submitter get "tanoshii"? The meanings are completely different *and* "tanoshii" wouldn't work in context
Atsui chishio ga hagane no kobushi ni yadoru
^once again not sure where the original's came from (original = "jishin no ga")
PINKU no honoo da
^This one is a bit strange too (original = "honmono")
The lyrics are otherwise accurate (aside from having a couple unusual spacing choices ex. "kake rare ta" instead of "kakerareta" but I think that may just be personal preference on my part)
And the first stanza isn't specified as being spoken compared to the rest but that's also just convienience