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Thread: Original Fiction: Are you Proud!

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    Junior Member BlackRebellion is just really nice BlackRebellion is just really nice BlackRebellion is just really nice BlackRebellion is just really nice BlackRebellion is just really nice BlackRebellion's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Original Fiction: Are you Proud!

    I wrote this when i was A bit younger...It's A Little Desturbing.

    AsLong As she could Remember, Her mom neglected her.,Verbally Abused her, when Things would go wrong she was the first to blame.
    When Her Little Brother would do something wrong Her mom Would Turn To her and say "Are you proud!"

    One Night It was cold ,dark and Rainy out.
    Like every other day Her mom yelled at her to Do something, Just so happened on this night her mother wanted her to Clean the bathroom.
    She Was on her hands an knees Cleaning The Tub out, when A T.V. Advisory Came on. She stopped and sat on the edge of the tub Listening to where exactally the tornados had touched down, She walked in to the living room to get the layout of the storm from the T.V. Her mom saw her and Said " Your not Done Get back in there I want It spotless!"
    She was upset But obeyed. Back on her hands an knees scrubing when she heard a howling noise outside, then She heard her mother scream At her little brother to get down stairs.

    Glass Shattered here and there she stood up and ran to the living room, they were already in the basement, She went to the door and Started banging and Kicking it the door didn't Budge, Glass Shattered here and there. She knelt down in a corner looking at the glass shater and fly around. She burried her head into her lap, And Then The Wind Died down It was gone, She looked up nothing but black outside those broken windows.
    She Fely A Hot cooling liquid on her hands she looked down to see her hands covered in blood she felt her face for cuts, nothing she went lower, Thats when she felt it a pieces of the shattered window stuck threw her neck.
    The Basement Door Opened And There stood her mother the Girl Looked up at her and said "Are you Proud!".

  2. #2
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    Gil
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    hahaha it was hilarious. A few of the sentences had problems like wrong structure, missing words wow to be a writer you really need to be on the ball in the english language. But seriously the whole tone of the story was sad and dark and all of a sudden, the ending was WTF? but hilarious XD

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    Heart Cold As Ice ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
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    Twist in which you thought would always come true, I remember the look in your eyes when your mother would start getting really mad, just remember, that will never happen and she wont be able to touch you again.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

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