Edwardo was out and about for the first time in ages. He did his utmost to travel only in the shadows, but this was nearly impossible. Every so often a patch of sunlight would grace his skin, and immediately he had the overwhelming urge to frolic about the town, breaking coin boxes and killing goombas. But he resisted the instincts the sparkliness gave him; he didn't need other catching on to his invincibility.
Ella was a regular chonga and attended high school. She wasn't perfect, for her eyebrows were always drawn on a little too thick, and her hickies not quite pronounced enough. But it was endearing. All the chulos secretly wanted her, but she only wanted to be with Edwardo. She liked how hardcore he was. However, that didn't stop her from being loose and allowing men to be all up in her grill.
One day Ella was walking through her barrio contemplating what gas station had the most money to steal. She wasn't paying particular attention to her surroundings and as a result she was about to get trampled by a burro. However, Edwardo happened to be nearby (carefully avoiding the sunlight) and shanked the burro. He saved Ella. Ella wanted Edwardo to make out with her, but he didn't have time for no easy chonga. He was too cool for school.
Later Ella was wandering around at night, probably thinking about mugging some unsuspecting tourist. She was loitering about a empty field when she saw a chupacabra lash out and eat a goat whole. Ella was mesmerised by the violence. It was only when the chupacabra transformed back into a man that she came out of her reverie. The chupacabra was Edwardo. Ella didn't know what to do and ran away for now. However, the next day she was riding around in Edwardo's cart, about to sell counterfeit fashion at the swap meet with him. But Ella was a dumb woman and told Edwardo that she knew he was a chupacabra. However, she didn't try to turn him into cryptozoologists. Instead she wanted him to be her chulo, and he accepted. The did the nasty right there on the way to the swap meet. After, Ella pulled her skirt down and went to sell her merchendise.
Edwardo's family thought Ella was a hardcore chonga and welcomed her into the fold. It was quickly revealed that they were all chupacabras and ate goats to survive. They offered Ella many goats, and she accepted them.
Also, somewhere in here Ella's confided in her friend Xacob that she wanted Edwardo to be her baby daddy. She got freaked out though when Xacob turned out to be a chihuahua and ditched him.
One day Ella and Edwardo were doing the horizontal tango in an alley in their barrio when a rival gang started disrespecting their hood. Edwardo went transformed into a chupacabra, and so did the other guys. There was a cock fight of sorts, and Ella watched, turned on by Edwardo's manliness. She wasn't paying attention though and got a finger bitten off for being stupid. However, Edwardo got pissed, saying that no one abuses his chonga but him. He ate the other chupacabras.