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Thread: ? "Untitled" ?

  1. #1
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default ? "Untitled" ?

    Well . . . I couldn't find a name that fit this one, so if anyone thinks of anything that fits, please tell me! >.< Thank ya'.

    Now, onto the poem! I wrote it the night before last and wanted it to end on a good note. Which was actually pretty hard. It was kinda spiraling downward . . . but it seemed mean to make it end without any hope for the future. So, yea. ^^ Hope I did okay with that.
    Anyway, Hope you like it, and thanks for reading. ^^ *Tsuki*
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Untitled"

    You push her away then pull her close,
    you hold onto her so gently.
    A pained expression crosses your face;
    you can only think of your past.

    Because she's the one who saved you,
    the one always by your side.
    The only one that you could trust,
    after what happened long ago.

    So how have you sunk so far,
    as to be pointing that gun at her head?
    Where has your humanity gone?
    what happened to the past?

    Your girl is gone and replaced by another,
    her "true self" as she says.
    The one you love was by your side,
    but never yours to keep.

    Even back then she was still his,
    how could you ever match up?
    Fate pulls you apart and enemies you become.
    All she ever wanted was to be your ally,
    to never leave your side.

    So shed a tear or two,
    I know you've lost your best friend,
    along with the girl you love.

    I wonder how much more you can lose,
    is there really anything more?
    Loosing your humanity,
    the girl you love,
    your family . . .

    The life you live so filled with loss.
    I wish you luck on journey,
    because you're too strong to die.

    Keep walking forward and finding your path,
    don't give up on your reason for life.
    I'll watch from the rooftops,
    the trees and the skies.

    I'll be in your dreams,
    I'll be in your heart.
    Because even if all is lost,
    I am still here as your guardian angel.
    Last edited by Tsuki.; 11-29-2009 at 11:35 AM.


  2. #2
    Three Nil Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama has a reputation beyond repute Aizen-sama's Avatar
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    Default

    beautiful poem of love and betrayal

    "Dark light come shine in her lost heart tonight
    And blind all fears that haunt her with your smile
    Dark light"-HIM

  3. #3
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    ^^ Thank you.


  4. #4
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    Default

    Why am I not suprised at the greatness of this poem? I loved it and it echants me almost to see such talent like yours progressing as such a fast pace. Keep it up my old friend!
    Check out Anime Globe for the latest in anime reviews and anime news!


    ~Me, when my waifu confessed her love to me~

  5. #5
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    ^_^ Thank you so much Raiken (or MetalMario if you prefer). It's great to hear that from you, and I hope I can keep improving. =)


  6. #6
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    Default

    Wow, the ending was really moving. The whole poem was so full of emotion, very awesome!

  7. #7
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Thank you! I'm very happy to hear it. =)
    I'm glad that you liked it so much, especially since you liked the ending.


  8. #8
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    O.O
    Great poem sis!
    You are so talented!^_______^
    I love your poems!
    Keep writing!!
    Lovely set made by the awesome Arxia!
    Thanks so much girl!
    ♥♥♥

  9. #9
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Yay! Thank so much, sis. ^_^
    *hugs*
    I hope ya' keep reading.
    And of course I'll keep writing! =)


  10. #10
    Circlejerk Elitist DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince's Avatar
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    I like it, Very moving and loving.

  11. #11
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. ^_^


  12. #12
    Simple Truth CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce's Avatar
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    Lovely and enchanting as always. ^ ^

    And, it moreover seems you've improved quite a lot in developing the plot as the poem progresses. Well done!
    Last edited by CrystalAce; 12-04-2009 at 07:15 AM.
    "To do is to be" - Descartes, "To be is to do" - Voltaire, "Do be do be do" - Sinatra.

    NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

  13. #13
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Thank you . . . lone_Sannin. ^_^
    I'm glad ya' liked it. Been a while since I've seen you around here. =)


  14. #14
    Member Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez has a brilliant future Ramirez's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    Poems about love and betrayal are unusually tacky or overdone/overhyped.

    Well, I should've said "Most poems about love and betrayal are unusually tacky or overdone/overhyped these days.". Because I actually like this one.

  15. #15
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    A truely inspiring poem, I look forward to your future works.


    Your color is Black. You value power, ambition, and darkness. You love power at any cost, and are a corrupting influence on those around you. At your best, you are resourceful and unashamed. At your worst, you are parasitic and amoral. Your symbol is a skull. Your enemies are white and green

  16. #16
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ramirez View Post
    Poems about love and betrayal are unusually tacky or overdone/overhyped.

    Well, I should've said "Most poems about love and betrayal are unusually tacky or overdone/overhyped these days.". Because I actually like this one.
    *bows* Thank you very much.
    I'm glad you liked it, and that it wasn't unusually tacky or overdone/overhyped. ^_^ That makes me very happy.


    Quote Originally Posted by TheDesertFox
    A truely inspiring poem, I look forward to your future works.
    =D Hey! Been a long time since I've talked to ya'! Thank you very much! ^_^


  17. #17
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    Nowadays , every other poem i read from you is so good. Indeed your talent is just overflowing right now.
    And the best thing about your poems is , i can always relate myself into it , thats what makes it more interesting to read. Its full of meaning.
    Suki-chan is the best >.<

    xx
    wish me luck for furture guys!!!!
    Thanks for everything!!!
    ^___^

  18. #18
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by .Savage View Post
    Nowadays , every other poem i read from you is so good. Indeed your talent is just overflowing right now.
    And the best thing about your poems is , i can always relate myself into it , thats what makes it more interesting to read. Its full of meaning.
    Suki-chan is the best >.<

    xx
    *Tears form in eyes* Thank you very very very much. It means so much to hear that from you.


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