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Thread: Politricks

  1. #1
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Default "Untitled"

    Really important..any comment is welcomed. thank you

    "We will bring forth its promise
    Rise up and make the change
    today is your time for better
    Come with us we'll lead the way..."

    Words you always hear
    in spaces sardines dare not share
    you listen as their tone strangles
    "We are the way..."

    Black backs, face front
    marching triumphantly
    to what we think is better
    hands raised, voices loud

    complacent and sluggish
    void of thought;such indecision,
    minds crowed and clouded
    all just rolling along

    like tumble wwed they blow;
    actions ooze out, barely a lively flow
    but let someone oppose
    then it becomes camouflage on death row

    tooth bare with pointed tips
    in search of the win
    like squabbles in a swamp
    everything covered in filth

    dirt stained leaves, exposed veins,
    crutched shoots, roots so bare
    sticking out yet digging deep
    A cycle we seem to repeat

    pull in many direction
    hazed over skid marks
    that vanish without a trace
    the way business is conducted

    No time to waste
    Its all a race to see
    how much can be concealed
    with careful designs, well contracted labour

    they build the holes-
    so perfect and incrementally constructed
    just like their nature-
    to hold them, the trap, they fall, Danger!
    Last edited by Rein*; 12-22-2009 at 02:38 PM.

  2. #2
    Member Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio has a reputation beyond repute Akira Son Bio's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Not bad. At times it seems like you rushed this almost as if you had something to say and you wanted to hurry up and write it down. Cool read, just seemed a little rushed to me.

  3. #3
    The Terror of Death Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi has a reputation beyond repute Araragi's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    hmm...interesting I like it
    post more if you have^^


    - Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow!
    - Life is but a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal.



  4. #4
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akira Son Bio View Post
    Not bad. At times it seems like you rushed this almost as if you had something to say and you wanted to hurry up and write it down. Cool read, just seemed a little rushed to me.
    thank you for your reply.. it was somewhat rushed i guess. i'm sorry that was so obvious. but thank you for your comment.


    thanks Araragi for your comment as well. i'm hAPPY YOU LIKED IT

  5. #5
    Ruler of Fire ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac's Avatar
    Gil
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    awesome exceptional work with words i like the way u have put them amazing
    ~ai~rox~

    Thanks teed for the site info

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