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Thread: Summering

  1. #1
    Neverwinter Gnostic Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Summering

    All sun-dried angels come
    In lapping water waves undone
    By silken strands of foam and sun
    Caught careless by the curve

    Beaten towers, short, uprise
    Begging to some mother’s prize
    While all across the pearl dust lies
    A soft Venetian blur

    But I will bury you one day
    Says the passing sun at play
    Its brutal grin against the splay
    Of waves and sand and soft

    But oh each blessed breath I take
    So delightful in the soul does make
    This alabaster cloud a snake
    To tempt me there aloft

    For I know that this will fade
    After all the waves have played
    Their course and I run back to shade
    Of arcane tome and page

    But that moment seems so far
    A sad and lonely morning star
    So temporal parallax please mar
    The dreary cogs of time and age
    Last edited by Luzifer; 10-19-2009 at 11:10 PM.
    The tragedy of life comes not from pain, despair, sorrow, or even death; but the constant annihilating amnesia that begs us to forget we live.


  2. #2
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    Gil
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    Default

    Wow, I have to saw this new style (is it new) is amazing. I like how the first three lines rhymed and then the last lines of two consecutive stanzas rhymed with each other. I thought it was very creative of you to write like that, and not only that, but you managed to envision the poem perfectly and thus wrote it for us so elegantly. I really enjoyed this poem. Great job. *thumps up*
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  3. #3
    Neverwinter Gnostic Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer has a reputation beyond repute Luzifer's Avatar
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    Default

    New for me or new in general?

    In either case its not, I got it from several poets and songwriters before me, (bob dylan comes to mind) and I use it from time to time, though i have drifted away from it in recent months, though you'll find a few poems that use a similar style if you go back into my thread history but you'd have to be willing to put up with a drop in writing quality.
    The tragedy of life comes not from pain, despair, sorrow, or even death; but the constant annihilating amnesia that begs us to forget we live.


  4. #4
    Heart Cold As Ice ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
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    Default

    I can't name any right now but a few others have something simliar to this style. I enjoyed it, and you are right about it being a long while since you have written like this. Keep up the great work, my friend.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

  5. #5
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
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    I love your poems ^^ you should keep writing, never give up ^^

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  6. #6
    Artistic Muse Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin has a reputation beyond repute Kirei Shijin's Avatar
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    Default

    Wow, you're really good. I love the rhyming scheme you used. Also, the alliteration usage is superb. This is a nice style that you have, keep on writing!


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