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Thread: Vocaloid Original - Sandscraper

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    Default Vocaloid Original - Sandscraper

    Hey there dudes, looks like I need your help to continue my conquest of the AL Vocaloid section. This hurr is "Sandscraper -Desert Express Line-", a Kagamine Len original. I've got it mostly, but there's a couple things that are getting me.

    Especially unsure places are marked with a hash mark (#).


    鉄の国にはヘンなことばかり
    今日も不思議が道を歩いてる
    自分が嫌いあいつも嫌いと
    オモイ思いが形を成して さぁ踊りましょう この町で

    The land of iron is full of strange things
    Every day shadows walk the streets
    If they don't like me I don't like them
    Such heavy feelings take shape
    So let's dance through the town

    はしって はしって あの手をつかめ!
    すっころんで 脳バグって 悪夢が覚める前に

    Run, run, take their hands! #
    I fall down, a glitch in my brain, before I awaken to this nightmare #

    蒸気の町が目覚める 人の気なんか知らないで
    何も無い砂の海へ 夢を喰いにいく

    The town of steam awakens, uncaring of people's feelings #
    And spreads out into the empty sea of sand to devour more dreams

    壊してよサンドスクレイパー
    鋼鉄の弾圧を弾き飛ばし 君をすくってどこかの国へ

    Break it down, Sandscraper!
    Bust through the steel oppression
    I'll take you somewhere away from this

    助けてよサンドスクレイパー
    この夢を食う国から 希望を乗せ すくい去れ

    Save me, Sandscraper!
    From this land that devours dreams
    Carry my hopes away! #

    誰もいなくなった工場で
    今日も不思議の扉開いてく
    腐り落ちてるこの町の秘密
    食われた夢の声がささやく さぁ君も仲間になりましょう

    In an abandoned factory
    Every day mysterious doors open
    The voices of devoured# dreams whisper
    the secrets of this rotting town
    Come, let's be friends

    はしって はしって この手につかめ!
    肩を抱いて 門くぐって 町の外の世界へ

    Run, run, take my hands! #
    Hold my shoulders# and run through the gate, to the world outside these walls

    蒸気の町が落ちてく 列車の窓黄金色
    隣の君が幻に見えてしまうほど

    The town of steam slips away behind the train's golden windows
    So that beside me, you seem like an illusion #

    どこまでもサンドスクレイパー
    生まれた場所を忘れるくらい 広い世界の砂の海切り裂け

    As far as you can, Sandscraper!
    Until I forget where I was born
    Cut through this vast desert world!

    遠くへとサンドスクレイパー
    決めたことはただ一つ 僕は君を離さない

    To faroff lands, Sandscraper!
    All I know is this:
    I'll never let you go!

    おわかれだサンドスクレイパー
    この夢がかなう場所で二人 一緒に道を歩き始めたから

    This is farewell, Sandscraper
    In this place where dreams come true,
    We'll start out on our own feet

    離れてくサンドスクレイパー
    その巨体に見る姿 大地駆ける金の獅子

    And so we part, Sandscraper
    Your looming form
    Is like a golden lion surging across the earth



    There's also this text monologue in the middle of the video I'm struggling with, but I won't burden you with that. There is like one stanza of another song that's bugging me, if anyone cares to look:


    せめてもの願い (果たして月が)
    明日があるあなたへ (消えていくように)
    私を忘れて (当然のように)
    振り返らず歩いて (進んでゆくのか)

    At the very least I wish (Can I really)
    That you, who has a future (Carry on)
    Would forget about me (As if nothing's happened?)
    And never look back (As if the night shall pass?) #


    There are two parts being sung in parallel, and the bits in the parentheses are what's getting me. As you can see I got kinda liberal in my (probably flawed) interpretation of the moon bit. If you really need the context, the non-parentheses singer (Rin) is depressed and dying or somesuch.


    すみません、ありがとう〜
    Last edited by ArtemisA; 10-10-2009 at 05:41 PM. Reason: I can't type...
    ~aka Xiao Cha~
    Let it be known that I loathe to see 重ねる/なる translated as "pile up."
    Get a thesaurus, everyone's 和英!

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    > 今日も不思議が道を歩いてる
    > Every day shadows walk the streets

    Wouldn't 不思議 be more like "mysteries" (or "wonders" or something, but that's a bit too positive-sounding)?

    > すっころんで 脳バグって 悪夢が覚める前に
    > I fall down, a glitch in my brain, before I awaken to this nightmare #

    I would've thought he was awakening from the nightmare, myself.

    > 蒸気の町が目覚める 人の気なんか知らないで
    > The town of steam awakens, uncaring of people's feelings #

    Well, literally it's "unknowing of," but "uncaring" does sound a lot better. There might be a way to get a little closer to the "unknowing" meaning without losing the "uncaring" sense... unconcerned? Heedless? Oblivious? I had a really good idea (at least, it seemed that way) when I first looked at this last night, but I've forgotten it now.

    > 鋼鉄の弾圧を弾き飛ばし 君をすくってどこかの国へ

    Technically this is all one sentence/thought -- "bust through the steel oppression to somewhere you (Rin) will be safe" -- but I can see why you've translated as you have, because it's doing that weird thing where the speaker is directly addressing/commanding something but referring to a third party as "you" in the same sentence. I've had it in songs I've translated before ("風よどうか君に届け" is the example that comes to mind), and generally I translate it as "May the [thing addressed] do [whatever it is he's commanding it to do]", but that's not quite forceful enough in this case. ... So it's probably fine as it is, actually.

    > 腐り落ちてるこの町の秘密
    > 食われた夢の声がささやく さぁ君も仲間になりましょう

    I get the feeling that the voices of the devoured dreams are the ones whispering "さぁ君も仲間になりましょう" as well.

    > 肩を抱いて

    "Put your arm around me/my shoulder(s)?"

    > 一緒に道を歩き始めたから

    Note the past tense on 始めた -- "because we've started walking this road together."

    Sorry if this got a little... terse-sounding towards the end there; I'm just kind of tired and distracted.

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    >>Wouldn't 不思議 be more like "mysteries" (or "wonders" or something, but that's a bit too positive-sounding)?

    Yeah, it should be; just sounded weird to say "mysteries."

    >>I would've thought he was awakening from the nightmare, myself.

    Same here. The が threw me a bit though.

    >>I get the feeling that the voices of the devoured dreams are the ones whispering "さぁ君も仲間になりましょう" as well.

    Ah, good point.

    Thanks for the help!
    ~aka Xiao Cha~
    Let it be known that I loathe to see 重ねる/なる translated as "pile up."
    Get a thesaurus, everyone's 和英!

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