What is the worst, but yet amusing piece of spam mail you've gotten? (and please do not post the ones about enlarging various parts of your anatomy, those are a bit overused by now)

I just got this gem:

Subject: Is this %firstname% %lastname%

Hi %firstname%,

My name is Ron Rose and I am contacting you from my
home office in Coeur d’Alene, ID.

I am a recovering M*L*M’er! I have been involved in several
M*L*M businesses where I was promised the moon if I would
just spend my time, effort and money while following their
step-by-step system. After working hard, buying their stuff,
and talking to tons of people, I just wound up “more broke”!
So I just stopped; until I found this!

I see from your personal website that you are a fellow
Network Marketer living in %state% and
your phone number is %phone%.

%firstname%, although I am not with %company%, I see that
you are currently a member or used to be. I hope you are
as successful as you wish to be. If not, I can help you
achieve your dream!

%firstname%, I have legal access to virtually thousands of
people like us who want what we want: SUCCESS
Work with me and you will have access to up to 1,000 email
records of net*workers PER DAY, to email them like I have
emailed you using our specially developed delivery system.
Together %firstname%, we will generate qualified people,
like us, who want to grow successful businesses: those who
don’t mind working hard now in order to later reap the
fruits of our labor.

I am looking for true business builders. If you are
willing to give one hour a day to
build this program, I want you on my team!

If this interests you, call me at ***-***-**** or
send me an email with a date and time for me to call you.
Don’t miss this chance to make $3 to $5,000 per month the next 6 or 7
Reply to: ***-***-**** or spammer@email
Ronald Kevin Rose
Why yes, this is %firstname% %lastname%.

Apparently their email program doesn't work the way they think it works.