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Thread: Walking in the groove

  1. #1
    The JUNKFOOD EXPERT
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    Gil
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    Default Walking in the groove

    Hmm...I know it's not one of my best poem but please do give some advice and comments.I'm a beginner.

    "Walking in the groove"
    _________________________

    When will you grow up?
    you said
    Without knowing I smiled

    People are rotten
    you can no longer see
    I can't say sorry

    But I'm spending my days with you
    If you go...
    This sadness will keep growing with every step

    Today,Tomorrow
    What's the point?
    You will love me!

    You will live and
    I will disappear
    I can't no longer feel...

    Stupid Stupid me
    I thought you could love me
    I'm so weak

    I know, but will you notice for one moment?
    Tomorrow is eternal
    Now I can see

    I love you more than anything
    I will fade without telling you but it's alright
    I still remember your fragile smile.
    "Nothing’s gonna take us down"

  2. #2
    What a feeling in my soul Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Nice poem..But the the flow of it could have been better cause when I was reading second stanza I couldn't relate it with the first stanza.. ..well,write more and you'll be a great poet one day!
    Lovely set made by the awesome Arxia!
    Thanks so much girl!
    ♥♥♥

  3. #3
    The JUNKFOOD EXPERT
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    Default

    Thank you for the comment.
    "Nothing’s gonna take us down"

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