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Thread: Zankoku na Tenshi no Teeze - Evangelion OP

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  1. #1
    Member isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol has a reputation beyond repute isaacsol's Avatar
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    Default Zankoku na Tenshi no Teeze - Evangelion OP

    Onsite Link: http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/eva/ngetnshi.htm

    Translation: Isaac Sol
    Minor Corrections: RizuChan

    Reason: Some aesthetic changes in the roumaji, and some changes with the translation. Also, middle section is added.

    Roumaji:

    Code:
    Zankoku na tenshi no yō ni shōnen yo shinwa ni nare.
    
    Aoi kaze ga ima mune no doa-wo tataite mo.
    Watashi dake-wo tada mitsumete hohoenderu anata.
    
    Sotto fureru mono motomeru koto ni muchū de.
    Unmei sae mada shiranai itaike-na hitomi.
    
    Dakedo itsuka kizuku deshō sono senaka ni wa.
    Haruka mirai mezasu tame no hane ga aru koto.
    
    Zankoku na tenshi no tēze madobe kara yagate tobitatsu.
    Hotobashiru atsui patosu de omoide-wo uragiru nara.
    Kono sora-wo daite kagayaku shōnen yo shinwa ni nare.
    
    Ai ga (Ai ga), seta me sō (seta me sō).
    Ai ga fusei.
    
    Zutto nemutteru watashi no ai no yurikago.
    Anata dake ga yume no shisha ni yobareru asa ga kuru.
    
    Hosoi kubisuji-wo tsukiakari ga utsushiteru.
    Sekai jū no toki-wo tomete tojikometai kedo...
    
    Moshimo futari aeta koto ni imi ga aru nara.
    Watashi-wa sō jiyū-wo shiru tame no baiburu.
    
    Zankoku na tenshi no tēze kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru.
    Dakishimeta inochi no katachi sono yume ni mezameta toki.
    Dare yori mo hikari-wo hanatsu shōnen yo shinwa ni nare.
    
    Hito-wa ai-wo tsumugi nagara rekishi-wo tsukuru.
    Megami nante narenai mama watashi-wa ikiru.
    
    Zankoku na tenshi no tēze madobe kara yagate tobitatsu.
    Hotobashiru atsui patosu de omoide-wo uragiru nara.
    Kono sora-wo daite kagayaku shōnen yo shinwa ni nare.
    Kanji for middle section:

    Code:
    愛が「愛が」せた目そう「せた目そう」
    愛が不整
    Translation:

    Code:
    Just like the cruel angel, young boy become a legend.
    
    Even though the blue wind is now, tapping on the door of your heart.
    You are just looking only at me, smiling.
    
    You are so engrossed in seeking the gentle touch of another.
    You cannot even see your fate yet, with such innocent eyes.
    
    But someday you will find on your back.
    That there are wings for the purpose of taking you to the distant future.
    
    The cruel angel's thesis will soon fly from beside the window.
    With surging, hot pathos if you betray your memories.
    Rise up to the universe and shine, young boy become a legend.
    
    So in the eyes of love (So in the eyes of love)
    Love is unnatural
    
    Sleeping for a long time in the cradle of my love.
    When the morning comes, you alone, will be called by the messenger of dreams.
    
    Moonlight reflects off your slender neck.
    You stopped time all throughout  the world, you tried to confine it but...
    
    So if the two of us being drawn together has any special meaning.
    I know that the bible is for learning freedom.
    
    The cruel angel's thesis and the sadness begins.
    When you awoke from that dream where you held tightly onto the form of life.
    You shine brighter then anyone, young boy become a legend.
    
    When people come together they make history while weaving love.
    I'll never be a goddess or anything like that, I will live on.
    
    
    The cruel angel's thesis will soon fly from beside the window.
    With surging, hot pathos if you betray your memories.
    Rise up to the universe and shine, young boy become a legend.
    All the notes on the original still apply to this version, exluding the one on the middle section.

    If you need more reasons, I will post more.

  2. #2
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    Do you think it's really necessary to have periods at the end of every line, even when the end of the line isn't the end of the sentence? I think that it makes the translation harder to parse, but that could just be me.

  3. #3
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    The reason there are fullstops at the end of every line, is that it is actually two lines, that are part of the same sentence. I find that is looks rather ugly to leave the fullstops out, it is grammatically bad, and is unappealing to the eye.
    Last edited by isaacsol; 08-30-2009 at 07:54 PM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsol View Post
    I find that is looks rather ugly to leave the fullstops out, it is grammatically bad, and is unappealing to the eye.
    My goodness. Have you ever read -real- song lyrics? Song lines are never meant to be grammatically-correct sentences. You grammar nazis are really barking up the wrong tree.

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  5. #5
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    I understand that the content of the sentence does not necessarily need to make grammatical sense, but the full stop signifies the end of the phrase, thus the end of the idea.

    Also, please do not refer to me as a "Nazi", no matter the context, as I do come from a Germanic Jewish family and I find it offensive.

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    My problem wasn't that I feel song lyrics shouldn't be punctuated, actually; it's that not every line is a complete sentence in itself. For example:

    But someday you will find on your back.
    That there are wings for the purpose of taking you to the distant future
    It would be ungrammatical if, in prose, someone were to write "Someday you will find that on your back. There are wings for the purpose of taking you to the distant future." That first part isn't a complete sentence. So if being grammatical is your concern, I think it would be better served by only putting full stops at the end of sentences.

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    Wait. Why are there even full stops at the end of theromaji sentences? They aren't supposed to be there. Besides, if you put a full stop at the end of every sentence in the translation, the lyrics don't flow at all. Lyrics aren't always supposed to be grammatical, especially since these are translations.


    いつからかの思い出

  8. #8
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    Okay, I made a mistake with the fullstops, please stop repeating the same thing to me.

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