AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com


User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: The girl Do you belong in my world?

  1. #1
    Senior Member kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16's Avatar
    Gil
    10,580.14
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-09-2011 03:26 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    somewhere over the sky
    Age
    31
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    1,033
    Rep Power
    577

    Default The girl Do you belong in my world?

    A time of knowing
    Distance in between
    The empty space filled, by us growing

    You kept my heart warm
    As you held me in your arms
    With your wonderful charm

    I tend to wonder
    If you are a star
    Because
    You made my wish come true

    That if I had to be in love
    It could only be with you

  2. #2
    The Local Vampire XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX's Avatar
    Gil
    6,855.03
    Gender
    My Mood
    Blah
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-02-2011 08:23 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    In your mind! :O
    Age
    29
    Threads
    6
    Posts
    342
    Rep Power
    326

    Default

    That was really good, Kaji. -^,...,^-

    ~Beautiful set made by *Tsuki* <333

    <--Clicky, plz!

    I gave you my heart to keep in your possession. It's very fragile and the only one I have left, so please don't break it. <3

  3. #3
    Senior Member kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16's Avatar
    Gil
    10,580.14
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-09-2011 03:26 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    somewhere over the sky
    Age
    31
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    1,033
    Rep Power
    577

    Default

    thanks i still need to make my poem a bit better

  4. #4
    The Local Vampire XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX has a reputation beyond repute XxPantherChickxX's Avatar
    Gil
    6,855.03
    Gender
    My Mood
    Blah
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-02-2011 08:23 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    In your mind! :O
    Age
    29
    Threads
    6
    Posts
    342
    Rep Power
    326

    Default

    If you ever need a proof reader, I'm here. X3

    ~Beautiful set made by *Tsuki* <333

    <--Clicky, plz!

    I gave you my heart to keep in your possession. It's very fragile and the only one I have left, so please don't break it. <3

  5. #5
    つき *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki* has a reputation beyond repute *Tsuki*'s Avatar
    Gil
    990,970,312.51
    Gender
    Gifts 001 - Bulbasaur Cowboy Hat Dr Who Tardis
    Mentioned
    89 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    01-30-2021 04:30 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Age
    28
    Threads
    116
    Posts
    3,770
    Blog Entries
    66
    Rep Power
    4310

    Default

    aww, short, but sweet. ^^
    Even though it didn`t have many words, the emotion was still shown.
    But . . . it was kind of hard to read at parts. The middle in particular, for some reason.
    I really liked the end, though.
    "You made my wish come true,
    that if I had to fall in love,
    it could only be with you."
    ^^
    Anyway, keep working at it, dad.
    Oh, and I think what threw me off, was all the extra words.
    It felt like some could be left out, but that`s just me.
    So . . . yea! Good job, though. =)

  6. #6
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
    Gil
    18,925.81
    Gender
    My Mood
    Happy
    Gifts Favorite
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    02-26-2013 02:44 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Jamaica
    Age
    35
    Threads
    35
    Posts
    949
    Rep Power
    344

    Default

    okay it was good. very sweet but it lacked actual structure and apart from its sweetness the flow was also a little bit lax. i don't know word chose or the amount of words or syllable in each line something was a little off.....

  7. #7
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
    Gil
    87,964.34
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Luna Cake Lie Soras Keyblade
    Mentioned
    82 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-20-2017 06:47 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    In your dreams. =0
    Threads
    149
    Posts
    5,980
    Blog Entries
    119
    Rep Power
    6157
    Gamer IDs

    Wii Code: 1596-5790-7816-3407

    Default

    Yeah bro, you need to add more words to your poem to make a stronger foundation. Its sweet but the flow is not its best and one sentence is the word "because". Sometimes a one word sentence is used for emphasis, but that's mostly descriptive and other powerful words.

    And I agree with everyone else that the ending was the best part and I thought it was really cute.

  8. #8
    Stuck in Love's Capture Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara has a reputation beyond repute Kaname Shikara's Avatar
    Gil
    5,828.66
    Gender
    My Mood
    Pensive
    Gifts Hot Chocolate Flowers Fan2 Wolf
    Mentioned
    61 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    05-20-2015 06:38 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    In Between Darkness and Light, Engulfed in Fire and Ice
    Age
    30
    Threads
    139
    Posts
    2,579
    Blog Entries
    17
    Rep Power
    2397

    Default

    Emotions everywhere ^^ pure, true, emotions in this poem

    Amazing set by
    Ezza Obsuna ^^

    The days fly by and the feelings remain
    So far away and causing us pain
    That's okay we'll make it through
    Soon we'll get to say "I love you"



  9. #9
    What a feeling in my soul Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell has a reputation beyond repute Artcell's Avatar
    Gil
    356.77
    Gender
    My Mood
    Cheerful
    Gifts Red Dango Telescope Favorite
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-10-2012 04:21 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In my beloved Tamahome's arms.
    Threads
    66
    Posts
    1,494
    Rep Power
    2823

    Default

    Aww...I like the poem!It's so sweet!
    Lovely set made by the awesome Arxia!
    Thanks so much girl!
    ♥♥♥

  10. #10
    ``Climbing up the Walls`` Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia has a reputation beyond repute Li Xia's Avatar
    Gil
    11,680.00
    Gender
    My Mood
    Amazed
    Gifts Alice
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    05-26-2010 12:06 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Threads
    3
    Posts
    584
    Rep Power
    684

    Default

    Short yet so sweet. . . Keep up the good work^^
    ^○^歴下アリス^○^
    メリザです。
    よろしくおねがいします〜
    ^_^


  11. #11
    Ruler of Fire ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac has a reputation beyond repute ultra_maniac's Avatar
    Gil
    13,655.00
    Gender
    My Mood
    Amused
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-09-2010 05:42 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    manga world
    Threads
    64
    Posts
    684
    Rep Power
    334

    Default

    add more emotion to it it will get the grace keep it up you are good at writing
    ~ai~rox~

    Thanks teed for the site info

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Mystique Girl? Nah! (series correction!)
    By Suzuna in forum Wallpapers
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-06-2004, 04:13 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts