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Thread: K-ON! - Cagayake! Girls

  1. #1
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    Default K-ON! - Cagayake! Girls

    I think this is mostly good, but there's a couple little things I'd like second opinions on, and just some general proof-reading (proof-translating?)

    Elegant and lively Never Ending Girls' Talk [1]
    We can't wait for the school bell chime
    Even if you're late, leaving early is a no, no, no!
    We'll go all out and Study After School

    The heart pounding won't stop, going full throttle inside our brains
    Hopes, desires, passions, We'll wrap them up with a ribbon
    We gather material for a New Type Version, and put it into
    A print club album forbidden to guys and a diary written with love

    If we hem our skirts just 2 cm, we'll be able to fly
    Further than yesterday, and a higher octave than the day before

    Jumping Now
    Elegant and pretty Never Ending Girls' Life
    We're serious every day, the live performance is now or never! [2]
    Even if you wake up early, going to bed early is a no, no, no!
    Shouting with all I've got, "Woo-hoo!"
    Elegant and wonderful Never Ending Girls' Song
    Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    Our love is unrequited, but it's an honorable defeat, so Here We Go! [3]
    When we sing we're Shining After School

    Is it because we're living so lightly? Every day is full of incidents
    We can take a make-up test on differentials and integrals, and put a hold on romance for the time being
    The second period bell sounds, along with the fourth dimension and my stomach [4]
    Ugh, I finally went too far, in the secret book I wrote my weight in [5]

    When I cut my bangs 3 mm, I saw
    My exam paper was white, but wouldn't it be nice if the future were rose colored?

    Chatting Now
    Elegant and lively Never Ending Girls' Talk
    We can't wait for the school bell chime
    Even if you're late, leaving early is a no, no, no!
    I Study with all I got, Enjoy!
    Elegant and wonderful Never Ending Girls' Song
    Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    It's an unusual chord, but Here We Go!
    When we sing we're Shining After School

    It's an eternal loop
    My sizes go down, up, down, up
    But my mood is always going
    Up, up, up and up
    Laughing from merely getting together
    Happiness from merely singing
    ...That's quite the ecological plan [6]

    Jumping Now
    Elegant and pretty Never Ending Girls' Life
    We're serious every day, the live performance is now or never!
    Even if you wake up early, going to bed early is a no, no no!
    Shouting with all I've got, "Woo-hoo!"
    Elegant and wonderful Never Ending Girls' Song
    Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    Our love is unrequited, but it's an honorable defeat, so Here We Go!
    When we sing we're Shining After School

    [1] "Elegant" for "ガチ", am I getting the right translation there or am I missing it?
    [2] Once again, I'm just not sure I got the meaning right there.
    [3] This line is so long compared to the original Japanese, but I can't really think of a good way to shorten it without losing anything...
    [4]&[5] I really wasn't quite sure on either of these lines...
    [6] I'm unsure about this one too. Is "地球に優しいエコ" redundant or am I missing something?

  2. #2
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    Yay thanks for doing this~

    [1] Nah, 'gachi' is "strictly/seriously", i.e. gachihomo, gachirezu etc.
    [2] The 'da shi' before that turns it into somewhat of a causative sentence. "Do or die time, 'cuz we're on air!" sort of thing.
    [4] You prolly need to put a side note that "my tummy is 4-D" is (Yui's) reference to Doraemon's pouch. So only the tummy rings to the period chime.
    [5] Put something like "... (checking) my secret..." to connect the sentence.
    [6] I'd put it something like this:
    We're happy just by singin'
    Ain't that quite environmentally-friendly?


    Other stuff...
    >We can't wait for the school bell chime
    Which bell?
    We can't wait till classes are over
    (...oops now the bell's gone)

    >A print club album forbidden to guys
    I'd negate it and put "girls-only"...

    >a higher octave than the day before
    An octave higher?

    >Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    Eh? Isn't 'motte koi' "go bring it"?

    Noting that, from here on I don't think the song is descriptive on the whole (we and I all around), but there are lines where it seems to appeal to the listener; something similar with Happy?! Sorry!! I found.

    >We can take a make-up test on differentials and integrals
    Argh no, think what happened to Yui!
    Have to sit supplementaries for calculus and put the love life on hold

    >When I cut my bangs 3 mm, I saw
    This has nothing to do with the next line:-

    >My exam paper was white, but wouldn't it be nice if the future were rose colored?
    '-ne?' is a new slang (contraction from v neg form+ka?). This is a wonderful line, I urge that you need to pull this one off;
    Though the answer sheet's white, when the future's rosy, ain't that awesome?
    To that effect.
    Last edited by AzureDark; 07-05-2009 at 11:49 PM.

    祝! 『禁断の病棟』 アニメ化!

  3. #3
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    >a higher octave than the day before
    An octave higher?
    Urgh, yes, that's what I meant. I speak English good.

    >Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    Eh? Isn't 'motte koi' "go bring it"?
    That's what I thought at first but it didn't seem to make sense in context. I looked it up in a dictionary and found this:

    もってこい 【持って来い】
    (連語)
    そのことにもっとも適当であるさま。あつらえむき。
    I found some other instances of it translated that way, too, and it made more sense to me that way.

    >We can take a make-up test on differentials and integrals
    Argh no, think what happened to Yui!
    Lol, I was thinking the exact same thing as I was writing that. Whoops.

    >My exam paper was white, but wouldn't it be nice if the future were rose colored?
    '-ne?' is a new slang (contraction from v neg form+ka?). This is a wonderful line, I urge that you need to pull this one off;
    Though the answer sheet's white, when the future's rosy, ain't that awesome?
    To that effect.
    I'll have to work a bit longer on that one. I don't really wanna use "ain't" here because I think it sounds a bit harsh coming from a girl, but I can't think of a better casual sounding alternative right now.

  4. #4
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    "Ain't" isn't feminine? Hmm...

    Ah, that would make my note after that thing with 'motte koi' invalid then. It really is a fully-descriptive song.

    祝! 『禁断の病棟』 アニメ化!

  5. #5
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    Sorry for taking so long to get back to this. Life does that sometimes.
    At any rate, this is (hopefully) my final draft:

    Seriously lively Never Ending Girls' Talk
    We can't wait for the end of school bell chime
    Even if you're late, leaving early is a no, no, no!
    We'll go all out and Study After School

    The heart pounding won't stop, going full throttle inside our brains
    Hopes, desires, passions, We'll wrap them up with a ribbon
    We gather material for a New Type Version, and put it into
    A girls-only print club album and a diary written with love

    If we hem our skirts just 2 cm, we'll be able to fly
    Further than yesterday, and an octave higher than the day before

    Jumping Now
    Seriously pretty Never Ending Girls' Life
    We're serious every day, it's now or never 'cause we're live!
    Even if you wake up early, going to bed early is a no, no, no!
    Shouting with all I've got, "Woo-hoo!"
    Seriously wonderful Never Ending Girls' Song
    Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    Our love is unrequited, but it's an honorable defeat, so Here We Go!
    When we sing we're Shining After School

    Is it because we're living so lightly? Every day is full of incidents
    We'll have to take a make-up test on differentials and integrals, and put a hold on romance for the time being
    The second period bell sounds, along with my 4th dimension stomach
    Ugh, I accidentally went too far, checking the secret book I wrote my weight in

    When I cut my bangs 3 mm, I saw it
    Though my answer sheet was white, isn't it sweet if the future is all rose colored?

    Chatting Now
    Seriously lively Never Ending Girls' Talk
    We can't wait for the school bell chime
    Even if you're late, leaving early is a no, no, no!
    We Study with all we got, Enjoy!
    Seriously wonderful Never Ending Girls' Song
    Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    It's an unusual chord, but Here We Go!
    When we sing we're Shining After School

    It's an eternal loop
    My sizes go down, up, down, up
    But my mood is always going
    Up, up, up and up
    Laughing just from getting together
    Happiness just from singing
    ...That's pretty environmentally-friendly, huh?

    Jumping Now
    Seriously pretty Never Ending Girls' Life
    We're serious every day, it's now or never 'cause we're live!
    Even if you wake up early, going to bed early is a no, no no!
    Shouting with all I've got, "Woo-hoo!"
    Seriously wonderful Never Ending Girls' Song
    Our afternoon tea time couldn't be better
    Our love is unrequited, but it's an honorable defeat, so Here We Go!
    When we sing we're Shining After School

  6. #6
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    Just one really tiny thing:
    >Though my answer sheet was white, isn't it sweet if the future is all rose colored?
    Not "if" but "when" because she sounds certain of it.

    Everything else looks alright~

    祝! 『禁断の病棟』 アニメ化!

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