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Thread: For my one and only person

  1. #1
    For I am not the one Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma has a reputation beyond repute Ayame_Sohma's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default For my one and only person

    I wrote this for someone special and i want the person to know how much i love him.

    I felt the urge to put my feelings in writing
    The thought of not being with you is frightening
    Never shall I kiss someone else's lips
    Not having you around feels like a solar eclipse

    With our love combined everything is in reach
    Together we can withstand any siege
    Words cannot express
    How you have captured my heart with success

    Our life together has just begun
    Not having you around makes me feel numb
    My love is so strong, it makes me fly
    I love you immensely, that I cannot deny

    All of you is what I need
    I hope we will soon meet
    This poem has come to an end
    Remember that, without you, my heart feels bent.



  2. #2
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
    Gil
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    Wow what a lovely poem. I like the first stanza because of the image with the solar eclipse. You had a good rhyming scheme. The flow was a bit off, but I guess that doesn't matter because you put all your feelings into the piece and that's the most important thing. Nice job.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
    Gil
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    One point looks like you are talking about one person and then the next a group. The flow continued throughout the poem, I loved it. The emotions you placed in your poem are what everyone seems to feel at one point or another. You did great, I hope to read more from you, my friend.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

  4. #4
    AF's Annoying Weeaboo Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner's Avatar
    Gil
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    Awwwwww, that was adorable. I really enjoyed it and it was just lovely.

    Nice flow an all of that, keep it up.

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  5. #5
    Just Some Color Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala's Avatar
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    Closed by request of the author ^^

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