Makes me wanna hate you

[Necro'lic Enigma]

(well i just make this poem , really fast Oo". I hope you all like it*nervous*)

In this lifeless world , in which we are living
There are hands which takes us down and make us figure out
But you know what you all can do for living?
Take down the hand which feeds you and be a god yourself

Turn down the lights please
Please....turn off the lights

In the darkness we are saved
In the darkness we all fail
In the darkness we all cry
In the darkness i have truly smiled....
For you...

In this cold fire in which i am burning
There are people who makes fun of me and gives fuel to my hatred
But you know what makes me keep burning?
Its those eyes which stares at me and makes me lonely..

Turn down the lights please
Please ....dont look at me...turn it off...

In the darkness we truly see
In the darkness we truly live
In the darkness i have truly felt something...
For you....

What i have ever known ....what have i ever shown...
Makes me wanna hate you more!

[Dr. Evil]

Bravo! Amazing poem, Silent. It flows really well.

[Aizen-sama]

i can totally understand this poem....its speaks to me...u may have just thought of it but its brilliant

[SigmaSD]

Wow amazing poem. I would also feel anger towards those that just look at me and take pity. I understand how that would be annoying, but it can also fuel deep hatred.

I like the repeating stanza since it describes your emotions quite well. The first stanza was a bit off in the fluidness of the poem, but besides that I didn't see anything wrong. I really really like how the last two lines just sum up the poem perfectly.

[Cyrus.]

Wow, this was a really amazing poem, I enjoyed reading it a lot. I think your really talent judging from reading this poem. It expressions the emotions very well. Keep up the good work, i can't wait to read your next poem.