Looks or personality?

[Bun-chan]

I know this isnt something new and im sure this has been talked about before here, but i started thinking about this yesterday when i was talking to a friend about it, and today i was thinking more about it.

What do you think? Looks or personality? how much is one important and how important is the other? what does looks have to do with love at all, and what does looks have to do with love?

Some people say that looks doesnt matter at all, that they first look at personality. when people talk to me about this and they say that they dont care at all about looks then i always think theyre just not really being honest. when me and my friend talked about this i asked her if she could fall in love with a guy she talks to on the internet, and she said "yes of course, i dont care what he looks like". but then i thought, what if they fall in love but then the guy turns out to be a girl? would she still be in love with the girl she thought was a guy? after we talked about this she said that she would love her like a friend. but i wonder what that means... why would her love change suddenly just because he turns out to be a girl?

when i talk to a person online i dont care what they look like because when i talk to people i want to listen to what they say, not look at them when they talk. but i know that i always look at a guys looks first. i mean, i dont date a guy just because he looks good, i have to know there is something about his personality that i really like so much that i think hes "right", but i dont think i could date a guy i think looks bad. i think this is a good saying: "the outside gives the inside a chance. the inside gives the outside its shine".

[Miss Moonlight]

There is already a thread like this:

http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=85681

[Bun-chan]

oh, oops ^^ umm... i didnt know that :$ but i was also a little interested in how love works when its in real life and internet and things like that so.... umm so.... i dont know ^^

[SigmaSD]

Well I think that it depends on some factors.

If you date someone in the real world, you obviously look for symmetrical features along with some other factors. It's not that you're really shallow its just part of our biology to chose someone essential for mating and other beneficial factors.

If you date someone online obviously looks don't matter. Once you start looking at how a person really is, you start falling in love with them. You'll find them attractive either way in the end.

But of course there are exceptions to the rules and other factors. (lying and cheating)

[Scarred DNA]

Both.

When you first meet someone, you're operating almost entirely on looks/physicality. The first approach/first impression generally has little to do with the person's personality. You don't pursue someone you don't find attractive, do you? It's not like you see an unattractive person at the club and think, "Hmmm, I wonder if he/she is insert personality trait here."

On the other hand, if you already know the person (friends) and become enamored with their personality, then that pre-existing affinity can affect how the person physically looks to you. It can change a turn-off into a turn-on.

Looks get you through the door.
Personality determines whether you stick around.

Oh, the internet.

Well, online you're being exposed to their personality first, as opposed to their phsycial form. People share pictures, yes; but you're still seeing only what they want you to see.

This is why I don't get "love" over the internet. You're really just trapping yourself. Meaning, once you "fall" for their personality, you're forcing yourself to accept them physically . . . no matter what. It can turn into phsyical attraction once you have those feelings - but it's a false attraction, if that makes sense.

There's so much you're missing out on.

Their scent
Their nonverbal communication
Their SEX (and I don't care what anyone says - a relationship is most likely not going to endure bad sex)
Their voice
Their feet
The way their skin and hair feel

There's all kinds of things you should experience before "love" happens that you just can't get over the net. But once that "love" thing happens, you're stuck and you don't even realize it.

Try before you buy. There's really no way around this, IMO.

[IFS]

Well normally its the looks that attracts a person to another but its their personality that makes them fall in love, but if they fall in love without knowing how the other one looks then the appearence wich normally attracts a person shouldn't come in play when they meet cause they are all ready in love. But true if it happens to me and the other person is a dude then it would freak me out and I would keep my distance and probably hang out in clubs and stuff to get rid of the image, I'm guessing thats just how people are, but if its a girl like said then looks won't bother me as much.

[Bun-chan]

But true if it happens to me and the other person is a dude then it would freak me out and I would keep my distance and probably hang out in clubs and stuff to get rid of the image, I'm guessing thats just how people are, but if its a girl like said then looks won't bother me as much.

yes! i think the interesting thing is why this would happen. ^^

[IFS]

yes! i think the interesting thing is why this would happen. ^^

well I guess it could be the fact that he/she lied to you about something so important, and I'm also guessing its going to make you doubt the things you believe in, you thought you were straight and then something like that happens it will probably freak you out or something

[Ωmega]

As mentioned, theres already a topic on this