Waiting by the Sea

[*Tsuki*]

I don't have a title, so it's "Waiting by the Sea." I'm sure it's terrible. I made it a couple of minutes ago, and haven't really edited it . . . It starts out rhyming, but towards the end, the rhyming is dropped. So, yea. Hope you read it to the end, and enjoy it a little bit . . . Thanks
*Tsuki*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waiting by the Sea

I stand by the sea,
wait for my love, to come to me.
He said he'll be back,
with my heart, of which I lack.

Watch the waves tumble,
watch them roll, as I fumble,
with the phone,
when I hear his voice say,
"soon."

Stare across the water,
Soon, he'll be here with me.
Pick my fingers, as I totter,
on my heels, back and forth.

A boat is in the distance,
My feelings come straight on,
Will he be there, waving towards me,
as I cry tears, like a girl,
who's caught her love once again?

I don't see him, where's my love?
Did I hope far too soon?

A hand is on my shoulder,
I turn and tears flood, once again.
Of course, he's right behind me,
on the beach where we first met.

[SigmaSD]

Haha, you made an amazing poem regardless of rhyming schemes near the end. Poems don't get written just because you can rhyme words or because you can make it sound well. Poetry is written so that the author can express their feelings, in the hope that the audience/reader picks up on those feelings. Just remember that.

The poem was sweet and gentle. I really like the middle stanza that begins with "Stare across the ocean". The ending was very spectacular; it really had poweful tender emotions. Nice job.

[*Tsuki*]

yea, I know. The poems I write are from the heart, no matter how cheesy they are, or how bad they are. This poem was really important, so I had to write it down. It's been in my head for a couple years now, but I didn't have any words for it. So, today I thought about it a bit, and this is what came to me.

I'm glad you liked it so much Sigma. I don't think it's very good, but I guess I'm not really one to judge since I don't think any of my poems are good. Thanks for telling me what you think though, it always means a lot to hear someone else's opinion.

[Anime Forum]

Okay that's it, yet again you underestimate yourself =[

You need to stop saying your terrible because your really not and you are good and how many times have I told you this? Now please believe in yourself more and take it from me, continue writing because this poem is really good and not "terrible" =]

[*Tsuki*]

. . . okay . . .
Thanks. Truly.
I'll try to have more confidence in my poems.
and post more of them.

You've told me that many times, and I guess I'll finally have to take your advice. *smiles*
Thanks. To you, and Sigma.

[OtakuInu!!!]

Very good. I like it. *giving you two thumbs up*

[*Tsuki*]

Thank you! ^.^ *bows*
I'm glad you liked it. *thumbs up*

[Daken.]

Pretty good poem, I like the ending of it.
keep up the good work. =]

[*Tsuki*]

Thank you.
The ending was my favorite part to write. ^^