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Thread: Just some stuff.

  1. #1
    Junior Member Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Just some stuff.

    Poem about ice cream:

    Ice cream
    What a dream
    a thousand flavor
    for me to savor
    What a joyus treat
    Such a feat
    to eat all 5 scoops
    Ties my tongue in loops
    oh so cold
    makes the brain fold
    and gringe and freeze
    makes ya sigh "jeez,
    Not this horrid brainfreeze"

    Poem about spring:

    songs of birds ring the air,
    down the way comes winter's heir,
    the birds pass the colored flowers by,
    raindrops wet the grey sky,
    leaves on long-dead trees stretch out,
    small mammals scurry about,
    this is springtime,
    let it chime.

    Poem I wrote while slightly lovesick XD

    Your happiness is the world to me,
    Can't you see,
    That you are my world
    Before you I fold
    Down to a knee
    your smile is the world to me.

    It's all I can do
    The sole thing I can do for you
    Is put a smile on those lips
    That could launch a thousand ships
    I am useless too you
    Because that is all I can do

  2. #2
    Rising Falcon! Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    This is in the wrong forum, there's a poetry forum where you can put up your work.
    I now know what hell sounds like; I recommend a tactical nuclear strike on my position. Tell my family I love them.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer's Avatar
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    Default

    Hmm, this is the poetry forum isn't it?
    OOps look like I made an uh-oh D=
    Well, I don't know if I have the ability to move or delete this. =\
    Sorry this was entirely my mistake

  4. #4
    Rising Falcon! Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Señor Nobody's Avatar
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    Sorry, my eyes are tricking me again, for a sec I thought you posted in the misc. forum. My Bad.

    It's about 1:42 a.m. where I am right now. ^^
    I now know what hell sounds like; I recommend a tactical nuclear strike on my position. Tell my family I love them.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer's Avatar
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    Default

    Oh, you gave me a fright, I thought I was going blind

  6. #6
    Level: 4 Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner has a reputation beyond repute Yoko Littner's Avatar
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    Lmao I read your first post and I'm like what? This is clearly the poetry section =) lmao but mistakes happen. Anyways after reading it I really can't say much about it, Its decent I guess[that goes for all of them] Keep trying =) and good luck.
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  7. #7
    Junior Member Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer has a reputation beyond repute Standartenführer's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by -Raiken- View Post
    Lmao I read your first post and I'm like what? This is clearly the poetry section =) lmao but mistakes happen. Anyways after reading it I really can't say much about it, Its decent I guess[that goes for all of them] Keep trying =) and good luck.
    Any comments on how I can improve =3
    That goes for the rest of you scalawags too ;D

  8. #8
    Simple Truth CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce's Avatar
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    Default

    I found your poem of ice-cream really amusing . Do you really love ice-cream that much ?

    Anyway, rest of your poems are decent as well. It seems you're pretty hardcore when it comes to rhyming words. As for my advice, well, try to put some decent title for the poem and some symbolism in the poem as well in the future.

    See ya !
    "To do is to be" - Descartes, "To be is to do" - Voltaire, "Do be do be do" - Sinatra.

    NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

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