Strange explanations from parents

[Miss Moonlight]

When I was small (I forgot around what age), I asked my mom something along the lines of "how do people die", or "why do people die?" and she responded, if I can remember correctly:

"Angels see humans as flowers, and pick only the most beautiful ones for their gardens."

Well, she lied, but at least it was cute and creative, lol.

What are some of the strange/silly things your parents said when you asked them questions to things you wanted to know as a child?

[Señor Nobody]

Question: Where did my bunny go? (He died)

Answer: The cucuy ate him. (Mexican equivalent of the boogeyman)

Question: Where are they taking grammy? (When they loaded her into a hearse)

Answer: She's gonna visit granpa and that's her taxi.

Question: Why is my skin brown and my friend white?

Answer: God was baking us (apparently we are all cookies) and we were slightly burnt.

[Gero50]

Well I asked my Mom one time how babies came and se said the tummy, she was not real big on that hole stork story. I found that rather interesting seeing as there was no way for the baby to get out unless they cut a whole straight through the stomach. But I guess they can't really say where they come from at that age. So it makes sense I guess but still I think the stork sounds more interesting.

[Seta Souji]

My friend actually told me a funny story about one recently. When he was little he asked his mom "what is a honeymoon and what did u and daddy do on yours?" His mom said "well, on a honeymoon you go on a trip to the moon and eat the most delicious honey." He got all excited from that and said he wanted to go to a honeymoon as soon as possible.

Since then I always make fun of him when theres a full moon or theres honey. I told him that "i bet u got so disappointed when u found out what a real honeymoon is." (cuz he suffers from gluttony). He said yeah.

[Miss Moonlight]

My friend actually told me a funny story about one recently. When he was little he asked his mom "what is a honeymoon and what did u and daddy do on yours?" His mom said "well, on a honeymoon you go on a trip to the moon and eat the most delicious honey." He got all excited from that and said he wanted to go to a honeymoon as soon as possible.

Since then I always make fun of him when theres a full moon or theres honey. I told him that "i bet u got so disappointed when u found out what a real honeymoon is." (cuz he suffers from gluttony). He said yeah.

Cute! I want to go on a trip to the moon ... on my honeymoon. I will need alot of teddy grahams, though. And some wetnaps, those things are messy.

[Capernicus]

My mom was always honest with us. She would tell us that there was no Santa Claus because she shot him. That's closer to the truth than what most people hear. lol

[Seta Souji]

My mom was always honest with us. She would tell us that there was no Santa Claus because she shot him. That's closer to the truth than what most people hear. lol

THATS SO SAD! I believed in santa for the longest time (till 5th grade). My older sister was kind enough to keep me from the truth even though she knew.

Cute! I want to go on a trip to the moon ... on my honeymoon. I will need alot of teddy grahams, though. And some wetnaps, those things are messy.

Thinking about it now, that would be the most awesome honeymoon. Imagine bragging THAT to your friends.

[Heinekenrana]

My oldest daughter: "Where do babies come from?"
My mother in law (at the time): You can go to the doctor, tell him what baby you want, pick its eye color and hair color and if it's a boy or a girl, and then he'll send you a seed and it will grow into your baby.

(My parents were always very honest and told us the truth about babies, Santa, the Easter Bunny, and death as soon as they felt we were old enough to understand.)

[Rem Nightfall]

Some of my finer moments, I keep saying that, but still:

When my hamster died

"Mom, why is hamster not moving?"

"Because he has a tummy ache and we bury people in the soul when they have tummy aches...so that way their tummy doesn't hurt,"

"I don't want to be buried when I have a tummy ache,"

"You won't, but Mr. Orange is real small so he has to be buried all the way,"

"Okay,"


Santa Claus

"How does someone so fat fit through Chimneys?"

"He sucks in his tummy and slides down,"

"Can I do that?"

"No, only santa,"

"Why?"

"Cause he's magic,"

"Okay,"

Yeah I was a gullible kid, but you needed to feed my imagination somehow. Or I would be the one with the weird stories not them. hahahahahahaaha.

[_-Anonymous-_]

Well I asked my Mom one time how babies came and se said the tummy, she was not real big on that hole stork story. I found that rather interesting seeing as there was no way for the baby to get out unless they cut a whole straight through the stomach. But I guess they can't really say where they come from at that age. So it makes sense I guess but still I think the stork sounds more interesting.

exact same thing my mom said -_-

[Dead rose]

none. mom and dad were honest to me. besides i didnt ask any weird questions anyway

[Ollie]

My mom was always honest with us. She would tell us that there was no Santa Claus because she shot him. That's closer to the truth than what most people hear. lol

Hahahahaha oh my god. That is the best thing I heard today.

[MoroDashi]

I don't think i've remembered asking me mum about death.
But when Steve Irwin died (;___ she said "Everybodies time ends."

[OtaruMamiya]

When I asked my stepdad (who is a complete emo freak btw) if Santa was real, he said that he used to be but a leprechaun hired by Galactus ate him. He said the same thing happened to the easter bunny too.

[i_say_sabotage]

Me: Where did I come from?

Mom: We made you

Me: Oh... *starts to imagine Mom and Dad drawing me in magic paper and I jumped right out of the picture*

++

*We were watching a movie and the characters kiss*

Me: What are they doing? Are they kissing? Ew.

Dad: There's a glass in the middle that you can't see.

Me: *satisfied*

++

For some reason, I just understood death right from being a kid... I dunno why. I never asked a question when my dog died... or when my grandpa died. I just assumed they're gone and not coming back... makes it feel weird now that I'm grown up and I hafta ask myself "Yeah... how come I never questioned death?"

weird... haha

[.Tatty.]

question: mum where did jane (the hamster that died) go?
answer: jane went for a walk

blatent lie ;o;

[rikumi]

I asked a few.
When I was 4:
"Mommy why is the sky blue?" "You'll learn it soon enough."
"Mommy how are babies made?" "You'll learn it soon enough."

When I was 5:
"Mommy why isn't Santa coming?" "Because our house doesn't have a chimney." (That's true.)

When I was 6:
"Mommy why can't I fly like birds do?" "You don't have feathers and you don't have wings."

Surely, my mother is a logical and cold person. That's why I grew up to be creative.

And my dad...
When I was 5...(I think):
"Daddy why are there stars at night?" "Because the sun is too fat so the stars have to tie themselves around and pull him up. As you can see, they take a lot of time too."
I was like, "Oh I see."

[Sakura Holic]

I asked how I was born and my mom said, "From my stomach."

And I asked "How?"

Then she said something about Dad helping her and something along that line using urine. She didnt explain adult sessions. Just said after that "If I complain that Daddy pees, expect a brother or a sister."

So when ever... mom complains that Father peed in bed, I thought of urine seeping into her night gown and the urine like seeped up to her stomach and it did osmosis and that's how I thought she got pregnant.

[CrystalAce]

I asked a few.
When I was 4:
"Mommy why is the sky blue?" "You'll learn it soon enough."
"Mommy how are babies made?" "You'll learn it soon enough."

Quite the exact phrase and it did annoy me sometimes...<.<...

I can't remember much of what I had asked back then, but I do remember one which was :

"Why am I small?"

Answer: "You're just a tiny chicken that have hatched. In time, you will grow, so be patient."


And, it did left a deep impression on me .......

[Memento Mori]

My parents were generally honest, except with the legendary, "Where do babies come from?" question.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Mommy marries daddy and mommy and daddy kiss and wish for a baby and the baby comes."

"..."

[-Kitsune-]

My mom was usually pretty honest with me.
"Hey mom? Santa Claus isn't real, you know I know that right?"
"Yeah, you're right."
(This was sometime in the third or fourth grade.

There was one time I remember though, when I was really little...
"Mommy, why can't I wear my shoes to bed?"
"Because then they'll rub against your sheets and catch your bed on fire."

...o__O;

[Hell patrol]

When i asked my dad "Where did babys come from"he replied"From a baby hole" and as i got older i realized part of that was true lol

[~DizzyElf~]

everyone has something funny to say, but all I can think of
is something common that every one knows.

My parents told me that my freckles were angel kisses.

I liked it, even if it's not as cool as hearing about santa or
where babies come from.

[Diocletian]

I was never lied to. I got all my info from the older kids like normal people. The only time I got an absurd lie from an older kid was how to pick up chicks. He kept telling me to shout at them. Since then I can't stop.

[Mmmmmmmmmm]

Me: "Why does it rain?"
Dad: "Angels are pissing on you."

It was an awesome answer at the time.