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Thread: Rainy Day

  1. #1
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default Rainy Day

    I wrote this one, along with two others about rain last night . . . Again it was late at night and I was tired. I haven't really looked it over much, but I hope you like it ^.^. thanks for reading, *Tsuki*
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Rainy Day

    It's raining today,
    just like that day,
    the day you left me.

    A rainy day,
    you ask if I'll wait,
    for you to come back . . .
    I wait.

    No need to cry,
    the sky does that already.
    I stare out the window,
    as the day passes by,
    I think of you . . .

    I think of your smile,
    so sweet in the rain.
    Your blue eyes, the shine,
    like the sun, even when there is none.

    The blonde mess of your hair,
    it sticks to your face.
    Where has the shine
    in your eyes gone?

    You smile,
    but it doesn't meet your eyes.
    Pain and sadness fills them,
    where the happieness used to be.

    I can't see the sun,
    there's clouds in the way,
    and tears in my eyes.

    Where are you, my love?
    I'm waiting for you,
    It's a rainy day . . .

    Nothingness, it fills me.
    Where my heart used to be.
    I'm dying without you,
    where are you?

    A figure in the rain,
    but still faraway.
    I run.

    Meet you halfway,
    you hold me in your arms,
    and smile.

    Your eyes,
    they shine.
    Like the sun,
    in the rain.

    You're here, my love,
    in my arms.
    It's a rainy day . . .


  2. #2
    Field Marshal TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    A very good poem that shows true emotion.


    Your color is Black. You value power, ambition, and darkness. You love power at any cost, and are a corrupting influence on those around you. At your best, you are resourceful and unashamed. At your worst, you are parasitic and amoral. Your symbol is a skull. Your enemies are white and green

  3. #3
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    ^^ thanks uncle


  4. #4
    The Poet Sword Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke's Avatar
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    Default

    I actually enjoyed this piece. A few parts sounded a little itsy bit cliche', but in the end I couldn't help but continue reading this.

    A little more polishing and a little more elbow grease (Metaphorically speaking.. No need to put your elbow on your computer screen) and this could look like a shimmering sheet metal banner to raise on high!

    Sorry, it's late and I'm in mah crazy-like state of mind. =O

    Still, lovely poem even if it wasn't solely based on a rhyme pattern or scheme. it had it's own sort of Rhythm to it.


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


  5. #5
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    haha, well thank you.


  6. #6
    Rising Falcon! Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody has a reputation beyond repute Seņor Nobody's Avatar
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    Default

    A-, I took off a few points for the cliche parts but other than that, it's a wonderful poem. Keep up the good work!
    I now know what hell sounds like; I recommend a tactical nuclear strike on my position. Tell my family I love them.

  7. #7
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    thanks. ^^
    although, maybe I'm stupid, but would someone explain the whole "cliche" parts?


  8. #8
    Senior Member Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight has a reputation beyond repute Miss Electric Moonlight's Avatar
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    Default

    It's actually a cute poem. I would fix the spelling errors though. =D
    @tumblr | @moonpixels | 月の光は愛のメッセージ

  9. #9
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    Default

    You like writing rain poems I see.

    Well I also liked the poem and I think it was better than quite a few that you wrote. I know you can do better though =] so please write more in the future like I know you will.
    Check out Anime Globe for the latest in anime reviews and anime news!


    ~Me, when my waifu confessed her love to me~

  10. #10
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    @Miss Moonlight: Thanks, I'll try to do that.

    @-Raiken-: heh, well, you're right. And, I probably will write more if anything pops in my head. (though I don't think that any of them are actually 'good') I'll try to do better! ^.^


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