[REQ] Hotaru no Hikari by Ikimono-gakari

[YoungCloud]

I know I've also asked for help in translatin a part of another song that plays in Naruto, but I'm actually not a Naruto addicted person or anything (actually I haven't even been watchin it), I just wanted to see the new OP/ED themes and, of course, with them, came a few questions.

About the opening theme, "Hotaru no Hikari", the lyrics are as follows:

SHA LA LA いつかきっと 僕は手にするんだ
はかなき 胸に そっと 光 燃えていけ

逢いたくなるの 「衝動」 哭きたくなるの 「純情」
夏の火に飛び込んだ ホタルはかえらない

あなたは何も言わず接吻を残して
火傷つくまま うなづいたね
哀しいほど命 揺らめいていた

SHA LA LA いつかきっと 僕は手にするんだ
はかなき 胸に そっと ひかり 燃えていけ

SHA LA LA 愛しきひと あなたもみえているの
まばゆい 月が そっと 明日を照らして
強く 強く 輝いて

SHA LA LA itsuka kitto
Boku wa te ni suru n’ da
Hakanaki mune ni sotto
Hikari moete yuke

Aitaku naru no shoudou
Nakitaku naru no junjou
Natsu no hi ni tobikonda
Hotaru wa kaeranai

Anata wa nani mo iwazu kuchizuke wo nokoshite
Kizutsuku mama unazuita ne
Kanashii hodo inochi yurameiteita

SHA LA LA itsuka kitto
Boku wa te ni suru n’ da
Hakanaki mune ni sotto
Hikari moete yuke

SHA LA LA itoshiki hito
Anata mo miete iru no
Mabayui tsuki ga sotto
Ashita wo terashite
Tsuyoku tsuyoku kagayaite

------------------------------

Well, actually I could translate most of the song, but, there are parts that keep bugging me, like:

"Boku wa te ni suru n' da". Normally, the expression "te ni suru" means "to obtain something", but, in the song, it doesn't say what, so, how could this be translated?

"Kizutsuku mama unazuita ne, kanashii hodo inochi yurameite ita" would be "me" (the singer) or "you" (the person the song is dedicated to)?

"Anata mo miete iru no" would be "I can see you" or "you can see [...]"?

[AzureDark]

Now _this_ time you posted in the wrong board. You don't request for a lyric discussion.

[YoungCloud]

Oops! I've only noticed now that I posted in the wrong board! That's so unusual of me...

[AzureDark]

Well, I've actually moved your post from requests to LD, you were meant to post in LD.

[Rizuchan]

Someone asked me to translate this song for them, so I can comment how I translated it.

I translated 僕は手にするんだ as just "I will obtain it", I'm pretty sure what it's referring to is the light in the next couple of lines, so the entire stanza I have as
SHA LA LA Someday, I'm sure
I will obtain it
Gently, in my chest
A fleeting light is burning

Looking back on it, I should probably make my translation a bit less ambiguous on that point.

The second part you're curious about, I'm not quite sure what you're asking about, but I've had quite some difficulty with those lines as well. What I have is:
Still burnt, you nodded
Life had flickered to the point of sadness

I'm not sure whose "life" it's talking about so I left it ambiguous for the time being. (火傷つく is translated as "burnt" rather than "hurt" because I chose to go with what kanji was used rather than the pronunciation)

あなたもみえているの is "You, too, can see it". I translated this to refer to the moon in the next line, but now I wonder if it's about the line before it, such as "The beloved person that you, too, can see", but that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of it...

Well, I hope I helped you at least a little and didn't just make things worse. I had no problem translating Blue Bird but this song seems to be quite a bit more disjointed.

[YoungCloud]

Yeah, I think the same thing about the first part. But, speaking of the last verse now, wouldn't she be, maybe, referring to a "fleeting heart" instead of "fleeting light"? Since she says "Hakanaki mune".

The second part is really good, I think your translation of it is great.

I agree on the third one. I was wondering if it really was "You, too, can see it" because, in proper Japanese, it would be more accurate to say "Anata ni mo miete iru no", since, without "ni" it sounds like what's visible is the person (anata) and not something that's visible to him/her. But, in colloquial speech, I guess the "ni" is sometimes omitted, so it's okay.

[NarutravReborn]

I'll translate it

SHA LA LA いつかきっと 僕は手にするんだ
はかなき 胸に そっと 光 燃えていけ

逢いたくなるの 「衝動」 哭きたくなるの 「純情」
夏の火に飛び込んだ ホタルはかえらない

あなたは何も言わず接吻を残して
火傷つくまま うなづいたね
哀しいほど命 揺らめいていた

SHA LA LA いつかきっと 僕は手にするんだ
はかなき 胸に そっと ひかり 燃えていけ

SHA LA LA 愛しきひと あなたもみえているの
まばゆい 月が そっと 明日を照らして
強く 強く 輝いて

SHA LA LA itsuka kitto
Boku wa te ni suru n’ da
Hakanaki mune ni sotto
Hikari moete yuke

Aitaku naru no shoudou
Nakitaku naru no junjou
Natsu no hi ni tobikonda
Hotaru wa kaeranai

Anata wa nani mo iwazu kuchizuke wo nokoshite
Kizutsuku mama unazuita ne
Kanashii hodo inochi yurameiteita

SHA LA LA itsuka kitto
Boku wa te ni suru n’ da
Hakanaki mune ni sotto
Hikari moete yuke

SHA LA LA itoshiki hito
Anata mo miete iru no
Mabayui tsuki ga sotto
Ashita wo terashite
Tsuyoku tsuyoku kagayaite

Translation

Sha la la I know that someday
I'll find what I'm running after
Let the light shine in your empty heart
and set your soul ablaze

The desire to see you again
is so pure it makes me weep
The fireflies have flown off into the summer sky
never to return

You left me with a silent kiss goodbye
and hurt and upset, I still nodded my head
left alone, trembling and sad

Sha la la I know that someday
I'll find what I'm running after
Let the light shine in your empty heart
and set your soul ablaze

Sha la la Oh my beloved
I can still see your safe
as the moon's dazzling light
illuminates the next day
shine strong, shine strong!

[Rizuchan]

Yeah, I think the same thing about the first part. But, speaking of the last verse now, wouldn't she be, maybe, referring to a "fleeting heart" instead of "fleeting light"? Since she says "Hakanaki mune".

You're right. For whatever reason when I first did this translation, I just didn't want to translate it that way. I didn't like it. (You do have to admit that "fleeting light" makes more sense) But this is why I 'sit' on my translations for a while, I always look back on something and say "what was I thinking?"

Our interrupter has reminded me of something, though. What are you thinking in terms of:
逢いたくなるの 「衝動」 哭きたくなるの 「純情」
夏の火に飛び込んだ ホタルはかえらない

Right now I have:
The "urges" I want to meet
The "purity" I want to cry with
They jumped into the summer flames
And now the fireflies haven't returned

At first I wasn't sure of the subject of "夏の火に飛び込んだ" but now I'm pretty sure I got it right. Do you think I have it about right the way it is? (The problem with sitting on translations is then I start second-guessing everything. )

[YoungCloud]

NarutravReborn, that's Dattebayo's translation, isn't it? I've seen it a few days ago. To be honest, I think there are minor flaws. For some reason, fansubs rarely translate songs right even when they're very easy to translate (which is not "Hotaru no Hikari"'s case, but still...).

Our interrupter has reminded me of something, though. What are you thinking in terms of:
逢いたくなるの 「衝動」 哭きたくなるの 「純情」
夏の火に飛び込んだ ホタルはかえらない

I think it's:

The urge of wanting to see you
The pure feeling that makes me cry
The fireflies that have flown into the fire of summer
Won't return anymore

But, the part that's still really bugging me it's: "火傷つくまま うなづいたね" because I want to know who's "hurt" and who "nodded".

[NarutravReborn]

yeah, most of it is DB's translation

[Datenshi]

I think it's:

The urge of wanting to see you
The pure feeling that makes me cry
The fireflies that have flown into the fire of summer
Won't return anymore

I think that translation is as good as it gets. I thought over this line

>逢いたくなるの 「衝動」 哭きたくなるの 「純情」

and I think what it's doing is expressing a desire (「逢いたくなるの」「哭きたくなるの」), coupled with a feeling associated with that desire, for emphathis (「衝動」「純情」). It's not meant to make grammatical sense, but is rather speaking through rhythm and association. In other words, if we were to try to sound closer to the original, it would read something like this:

-> "I want to see you - [this] urge
I want to cry - [this] feeling"

But again, it depends on whether you as the translator decides to place your priority on how it reads in English over how the original song "feels". If you choose the former, the translation you gave is probably as close as you can get.

But, the part that's still really bugging me it's: "火傷つくまま うなづいたね" because I want to know who's "hurt" and who "nodded".

>火傷つくまま　うなづいたね

「～(が）まま」 implies a passive state (not to be confused with 「～（し）たまま」, e.g. 「傷ついたまま」, which would then mean "to remain in an unchanged state", e.g. "still hurt").

For example, 「されるがまま」 = "offer no resistance"; 「心のままに」 = "following [your] feelings". So, 傷つくまま here would mean, "Allow [yourself] to be hurt".

Also, note the 「～ね」 at the end of 「うなづいたね」. This ね is used to place a friendly emphathis on a statement (like "right?" in English). From this, we can deduce that the speaker is talking to someone else (you wouldn't place a friendly emphathis on a statement referring to yourself; i.e. "You like beef, right?" is a correct sentence, whereas "I like beef, right?" makes no sense). So that means the person who was "hurt" and "nodded" is the あなた referred to in the beginning of that stanza, not the speaker.

Taking into consideration the above:

>火傷つくまま　うなづいたね
-> Allowing yourself to be burnt, you nodded

[YoungCloud]

Datenshi-sama.... You ROCK!! Heheh.

[SailorAlea]

About the opening theme, "Hotaru no Hikari", the lyrics are as follows:

SHA LA LA いつかきっと 僕は手にするんだ
はかなき 胸に そっと 光 燃えていけ


SHA LA LA itsuka kitto
Boku wa te ni suru n’ da
Hakanaki mune ni sotto
Hikari moete yuke

I'll translate it

SHA LA LA いつかきっと 僕は手にするんだ
はかなき 胸に そっと 光 燃えていけ

SHA LA LA itsuka kitto
Boku wa te ni suru n’ da
Hakanaki mune ni sotto
Hikari moete yuke

Both of you did this.. The subs from the official video say "光も燃えていけ," but she's clearly saying 光燃えてゆけ. Even DB transliterated the kana as "ike," rather than "yuke," which she's clearly saying.

行け can be pronounced either いけ or ゆけ--the singer clearly says ゆけ, but the officials say いけ and you (and DB) copied the mistake. Weird.

[AzureDark]

いく when used as an auxiliary verb is always spelt ゆく because the te-form follows before it. It's a part of Japanese diction, songs generally have a different set of diction rules (like why を is sung as 'wo' and spoken as 'o'.)

I'd personally put 'yuke' because that's what I hear. Some people will choose the other option though.