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Thread: Killer Sunrise

  1. #1
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default Killer Sunrise

    Umm, well, because I've been watching 30 Days of Night so much lately, I thought I'd make a poem. So, tell me what you think, and what I could do better. ^_^ Thanks *Tsuki*
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Killer Sunrise

    That terrible night,
    they took you away.
    29 days leading up to.
    You gave up your life,
    became one of them,
    you said that you did what you had to.

    Now I'm alone,
    sitting without you,
    thinking back to that
    dreaded day.

    I can still see it,
    the picture clear in my mind,
    like a movie that can't be rewinded.
    Ending without a conclusion.

    I watch as blood
    seeps through the ground,
    from corpses of friends that I've lost.

    The smell of gasoline,
    and feeling so cold,
    Yet still the fire burns 'round me.

    Seeing your face,
    your eyes are so sad,
    But they're like theirs,
    the eyes of a monster.

    You yell for me to run,
    with pleading in your voice,
    as you spit blood onto the snow.
    My tears freeze in place,
    I run.

    Soon they retreat,
    you are the victor,
    we are all saved with your sacrifice.

    You promised we'd watch the sunrise,
    so I hold you in my arms.
    Screaming and writhing in pain,
    you die in my arms,
    I'm alone.

    Without you to save me,
    and guide the others,
    we would've all died for sure.
    Everyone thinking,
    it was a terrible accident.

    But even still,
    I wish I could see you again,
    so we could watch the sunrise,
    and maybe see the sunset as well.


  2. #2
    Dream With Me Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul's Avatar
    Gil
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    I always love your work this one is no different. =)



  3. #3
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    haha, well, I'm not that great . . .


  4. #4
    Dream With Me Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul's Avatar
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    You're too modest. =)



  5. #5
    Member noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109 has a reputation beyond repute noir_charisma1109's Avatar
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    intense, i really enjoyed this piece of exceptional work of art.
    Thank you for posting. ^^~
    "I am absolutely much more brilliant and more complicated than you think!"

    REPS?


  6. #6
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    Thank you for answering. ^.^


  7. #7
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    Default

    I am also a fan of your poems =D you should really publish some of these.

    Please continue, like I know you will.
    Check out Anime Globe for the latest in anime reviews and anime news!


    ~Erasing all the non moe on AF~

  8. #8
    Simple Truth CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce has a reputation beyond repute CrystalAce's Avatar
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    Very Nice Poem! Quite fitting to the movie!

    Though, I didn't like the movie that much, your poem surely made the movie sound awesome .

    Quite a tragic and moving poem. Great job !
    "To do is to be" - Descartes, "To be is to do" - Voltaire, "Do be do be do" - Sinatra.

    NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

  9. #9
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    aww, wow, thanks. ^^

    @-Raiken- :I'm glad you like my poems, it makes me very happy to hear that. ^^ although, published? I don't think they're good enough . . .

    @lone_Sannin: you're right, the movie isn't all that great >.< . . . but I'm glad that you enjoyed my poem, and I hope I didn't make it sound too awesome, it was kind of a slow movie until the end. <.<


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tsuki Moon88 View Post
    @lone_Sannin: you're right, the movie isn't all that great >.< . . . but I'm glad that you enjoyed my poem, and I hope I didn't make it sound too awesome, it was kind of a slow movie until the end. <.<
    Well, actually you really made it sound awesome but, it gave you a tragic sense in the end. As for the film,... well..., apparantly they might had tried to make it a bit psychological film but, all the bad visual effects and it's slow storyline, had made me snoozing along the half-way point of the film.
    "To do is to be" - Descartes, "To be is to do" - Voltaire, "Do be do be do" - Sinatra.

    NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

  11. #11
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    haha, yea. And all the screaming still gives me a headache.


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