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Thread: Hold Me Close . . .

  1. #1
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Hold Me Close . . .

    okay, I made two versions of this (but they pretty much say the same thing), so tell me which you like better, and what you think thanks *Tsuki*

    Hold Me Close . . .

    Now you’re gone,
    come back to me,
    I need you now,
    so hold me close,
    and tell me you love me.

    You promised to protect me,
    to always stay by my side.
    You said that you loved me,
    that nothing could ever change that . . .

    How am I supposed to hold you,
    when you’re so far away.
    In a place I cannot enter,
    beyond my reach . . .

    A wandering soul in this world,
    a place too big to take in alone.
    But still I look, and hope,
    To see you again,
    If only for a moment.

    FADING, Fading, fading,
    into nothingness.
    One tear falls,
    goodbye. . .

    Pulled into someone’s arms,
    startled, then hear a voice.
    More tears fall,
    You hold me close,
    and tell me you love me . . .

    AND,

    Hold Me Close . . .

    You promised to protect me,
    to always stay by my side.
    You said that you loved me,
    that nothing could ever change that . . .

    Now you’re gone,
    come back to me,
    I need you now,
    so hold me close,
    and tell me you love me.

    How am I supposed to hold you,
    when you’re so far away.
    In a place I cannot enter,
    beyond my reach . . .

    Now you’re gone,
    come back to me,
    I need you now,
    so hold me close,
    and tell me you love me.

    A wandering soul in this world,
    a place too big to take in alone.
    But still I look, and hope,
    To see you again,
    If only for a moment.

    Now you’re gone,
    come back to me,
    I need you now,
    so hold me close,
    and tell me you love me.

    FADING, Fading, fading,
    into nothingness.
    One tear falls,
    goodbye. . .

    Now you’re gone,
    come back to me,
    I need you now,
    so hold me close,
    and tell me you love me.

    Pulled into someone’s arms,
    startled, then hear a voice.
    More tears fall,
    You hold me close,
    and tell me you love me . . .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    phew, okay then . . . tell me whatchya think! And I'll be sure to answer and give rep to peoples. ^_^
    Last edited by Tsuki.; 03-02-2009 at 06:44 PM.


  2. #2
    Field Marshal TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox has a reputation beyond repute TheDesertFox's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    I feel that the second one flows together better.


    Your color is Black. You value power, ambition, and darkness. You love power at any cost, and are a corrupting influence on those around you. At your best, you are resourceful and unashamed. At your worst, you are parasitic and amoral. Your symbol is a skull. Your enemies are white and green

  3. #3
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    ah, okay. Thanks. Can't give you rep at the moment, but I'll keep a mental note! ^_^


  4. #4
    Senior Member Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan's Avatar
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    i think i like the second one better too its a really good poem, i really liked it. it made me think about alot of things, and reminded me of things i had forgotten.

  5. #5
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    aah, thanks. ^_^ so far everyone likes The second poem. . .


  6. #6
    Dream With Me Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul's Avatar
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    I 3rd it i really enjoyed the 2nd one. =) It's great.



  7. #7
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default

    Oh, I like your intro, it really flows well into the body of the poem. Nice job. I liked the first version better because it read sort of like lyrics to a song.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  8. #8
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie has a reputation beyond repute Teddie's Avatar
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    Default

    Very nice Tsuki-chan.
    Felt the vibe going through the poems of hurt and loneliness.
    But besides that; Very good. x]
    Last edited by Teddie; 03-02-2009 at 08:32 PM.
    Quote of the week:
    "Little things affect little minds."


  9. #9
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    Oh, wow. . . Thanks everyone! ^.^
    okay...

    @magical soul: thanks so much! <3 glad ya enjoyed it bro! =)
    @sigma: yes! I'm trying to get better at intros, they're my weak point, but I'm glad you thought this one was good. ^_^
    @teddie: ya, I'm not so great at writing happy poems, but in some of them I try to put in a little happieness. c[ : (I'm stealing aisubeki's tounge sticking out happy face. -_-)


  10. #10
    Senior Member kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16 has a reputation beyond repute kajikun16's Avatar
    Gil
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    a lot of emotions into the poem good job

  11. #11
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    thanks! ^_^


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