Despite the Tribe Called Quest reference here's the scenario:
So God came to you one day and said "Sup, bro/bra. I'm gonna go hit some waves. I need someone to take care of stuff up in heaven for me. You down?"
Let's throw all you beliefs out the door. Would you take the opportunity, or would you turn it down? What would be your first and second commandments?
I would. Then I'd got hit some waves with God.
My first would be:
Thou shall commit euthanasia at the age of 45.
If you can't work because of obesity do the above.