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Thread: Duel

  1. #1
    Senior Member lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika's Avatar
    Gil
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    Wink Duel

    does anyone else find it strange that none of my poems have titles. i was trying to think of a title for this one and i couldnt so feedback+title ideas pleez! ^^ thankyou!

    for every verse of peace and love
    a bit is writ of hate, revenge
    with every myth of brotherhood
    steps taken to the epic end

    imminent is our destruction
    by ice or fire it can't be known
    men so blinded with their knowledge
    will easily be overthrown

    the hellish beasts and savage demons
    must rid the world her greates pains
    only by our kinds extinction
    will our world have much to gain

    Sometime we may return again
    a far-off day in childs rhyme
    and perhaps we will have learned
    to care
    for mother earth and father time
    i dance, therefore i am....insane


    CHECK OUT MY BLOG: BLOODY HORIZON

  2. #2
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    For a title--" Duel" might be fitting because it seem to be some kind of battle between good and evil or maybe just existence itself. I like the poem it was very good. nice contrast between certain lines and good message

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    It was a decent poem. I have read better, but I see that your getting better at writing them. Btw, what's with your title? Of course people will read it.

    I got no idea on a title though xD sorry.

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  4. #4
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    I've noticed that you always seem to incorporate this image of demons and destruction in your poems, so it's obvious that you're going through quite a lot these days. I really like how every poet has their unique style of poetry, and yours seems intriguing. partly because it's imagery is extravagant, and you always find ways to make it flow smootly by restructuring your poem. I liked this poem, but I liked the other one better (the one that got you sent to a therapist).

    I just want to tell you that if you ever need to talk about something, you can contact me anytime, and I'll be willing to help you. Because everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika's Avatar
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    thanks guys, i think duel will be a good title. uh, as for the demons...i dunno...not really much going just stuff that has happened ^^; i dunno, maybe im just naturally hateful, though id hate to think that. lol
    i dance, therefore i am....insane


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  6. #6
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    Would you like the thread retitled to "Duel" or just "Untitled?" =D

  7. #7
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    I think its a very good poem with deep meaning to it.


    Your color is Black. You value power, ambition, and darkness. You love power at any cost, and are a corrupting influence on those around you. At your best, you are resourceful and unashamed. At your worst, you are parasitic and amoral. Your symbol is a skull. Your enemies are white and green

  8. #8
    Senior Member lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika's Avatar
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    i'd like to retitle it but i dont know how v.v;
    i dance, therefore i am....insane


    CHECK OUT MY BLOG: BLOODY HORIZON

  9. #9
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    >.> I'm offering to do it for you. Just need to know which you'd like.

  10. #10
    Senior Member lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika's Avatar
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    oh, well thankyou ^^ i'd like it to renamed "Duel" pleez
    i dance, therefore i am....insane


    CHECK OUT MY BLOG: BLOODY HORIZON

  11. #11
    Junior Member ANIMEGATES will become famous soon enough ANIMEGATES's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugensbabygurl View Post
    does anyone else find it strange that none of my poems have titles. i was trying to think of a title for this one and i couldnt so feedback+title ideas pleez! ^^ thankyou!

    for every verse of peace and love
    a bit is writ of hate, revenge
    with every myth of brotherhood
    steps taken to the epic end

    imminent is our destruction
    by ice or fire it can't be known
    men so blinded with their knowledge
    will easily be overthrown

    the hellish beasts and savage demons
    must rid the world her greates pains
    only by our kinds extinction
    will our world have much to gain

    Sometime we may return again
    a far-off day in childs rhyme
    and perhaps we will have learned
    to care
    for mother earth and father time

    I can suggest the following titles:

    1. Battle Ground
    2. Grapple
    3. The Fight

    Well, I think those are fitting basically because for me the poem relays something about fighting, two opposing forces, good and evil maybe and about who wins. Just pitching in my two cents.
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  12. #12
    Senior Member lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika's Avatar
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    i rather like this title, its much better than the other one ^^
    i dance, therefore i am....insane


    CHECK OUT MY BLOG: BLOODY HORIZON

  13. #13
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    Yes, I believe "duel" is a good name for this poem. Speaking of the poem, I quite enjoyed it. The point comes across well, and I thought of X while I was reading it. . . I must side with Sigma though, the one that sent you to therapy was better. Please contiue writing, I like the concepts of your poems.
    Last edited by Tsuki.; 02-14-2009 at 04:15 PM.


  14. #14
    Senior Member lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika has a reputation beyond repute lady_jesika's Avatar
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    yeah, the therapist thought it was a good poem too, lol but i still had to talk to her..blah....-.- anyways, i just got back from florida and left a great poem there so it may be awhile before i either remember it or write a new one...problem is i cant write on demand so pleez be patient ^^
    i dance, therefore i am....insane


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