Single Line Translation

[Rubedo, the Crystal Blood]

I'm listening to Aya Hirano's "Lost my Music". And I've been trying to translate it into English lyrically (translate it so that the words still fit the song.) The part I'm having trouble with is asterisked. I'd also appreciate any other reccomendations.

Here's a link to the song so you know how it sounds. And YES, this is from The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.
http://www.hotlinkfiles.com/files/22...t-my-music.mp3


星空見上げ　私だけのヒカリ教えて(Hoshizora miage watashi dake no hikari oshiete)
(When I look up at the sky, I can't help asking why we aren't here together.)
あなたはいまどこで　誰といるのでしょう?(Anata wa ima doko de dare to iru no deshoo?)
(How I wonder where you are these days, and to whom it is you now attend?)

楽しくしてるコト思うと　さみしくなって(Tanoshiku shiteru koto omoo to samishiku natte.)
(Even now I think of you and wish you were here too, instead of feeling lonely.)
一緒に観たシネマひとりきりで流す (Issho ni mita SHINEMA hitori kiri de nagasu.)
(Since that evening at the cinema, you're the only person on my mind.)

大好きなひとが遠い, 遠すぎて泣きたくなるの(Daisuki na hito ga tooi toosugite nakitaku naru no.)
(The someone that love is too far away, and the tears I hold within me blurry my sight.)
あした目が覚めたらほら, 希望が生まれるかも GOOD NIGHT!(Ashita me ga sametara hora kibou ga umareru kamo. GOOD NIGHT!)
(As the dawn horizon breaks and I awake, perhaps then I'll find a hope for myself. Good night!)

I still I still I love you!
I'm waiting waiting forever
I still I still I love you!
Tomoranai no yo! Hi!!

Finished: credits to kajigoddess and bluepenguin for your criticism and suggestions.

[kajigoddess]

I know this isn't the line you're asking about, but I don't think that you've translated the line before it correctly. The verb 通す (とおす）is what means "continue," but 通す and 遠すぎて are not related to each other. Allow me to explain. 遠すぎて is a combination of the adjective 遠い and the verb すぎる. The verb すぎる implies that one has done too much of something, and so 遠すぎて would mean "too far away." すぎる can also be used with な adjectives and verbs. (for example: 読みすぎる "reads too much,"　食べすぎた "ate too much," 上手（じょうず）すぎます "is too good at," etc.) Hopefully I have explained this concept well enough to you.

[EJTranslations]

The best I can come up with is "When the new day breaks and once more I'm awake, maybe my hope will be born again so good night." The "once more" is just filler and I don't exactly love it; if you can think of two better syllables to stick in there, please do.

On a side note, "to whom it is you now attend" feels far too formal for this song, to me. I can't really think of anything better, though, so oh well. Also, technically, "泣きたくなる" is "to want to cry," i.e. she's not crying yet, but you can take some artistic license with that, I guess.

[Rubedo, the Crystal Blood]

How's this then? And it rhymes too ^^.

大好きなひとが遠い, 遠すぎて泣きたくなるの(Daisuki na hito ga tooi toosugite nakitaku naru no.)
(The someone that love is too far away, and the tears I hold within me blurry my sight.)
あした目が覚めたらほら, 希望が生まれるかも GOOD NIGHT!(Ashita me ga sametara hora kibou ga umareru kamo. GOOD NIGHT!)
(As the dawn horizon breaks and I awake, perhaps then I'll find a hope for myself. Good night!)

Thanks for the help guys. I think I might try working on the "and to whom is it you now attend" part too, but yay!

[EJTranslations]

That works -- although "blurry" is an adjective; the word to use there would be "blur."