AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com

User Tag List

Closed Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Chao Tokyo Translation

  1. #1
    Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess's Avatar
    Gil
    825.26
    Gender
    My Mood
    Amused
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    03-19-2011 02:28 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Somewhere in the far-off realm of Southern California...
    Age
    27
    Threads
    28
    Posts
    50
    AL Lyrics
    22
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Chao Tokyo Translation

    Well, since this is my first translation that will ever be posted on the site, I figured that I should probably ask you guys if this translation seems right or if I missed something important or if there is a way to make it flow better before I put it up. So, here goes nothing...I particularly hope that さみしがり is translated correctly.

    Chao Tokyo 小さなアパートに軽く手を振る
    Chao Tokyo 私だけのお城よ さよなら

    Chao Tokyo I lightly waved my hand at the small apartment
    Chao Tokyo It was a castle just for me… Goodbye...

    駅のホームにはさみしがりの旅人どうし
    古いキズを見せ合って
    あなたを待ってたポケットのカギはもう捨てて
    ひとり夢をだいていたい

    On the station platform there was a lonely-feeling fellow traveler
    We showed each other our old keys;
    The pocket key you had waited for has already been thrown away
    I want to keep embracing my single dream

    上目使いに見てた人波 今になって
    やさしさを感じるよ 不思議ね Chao Tokyo

    At the point when I looked up, I saw a sea of humanity. Now it happens;
    I feel the kindness… It’s such a mystery… Chao Tokyo

    Chao Tokyo 初めて来た時よりもこの街は
    Chao Tokyo 出て行く方が勇気がいるのね さよなら

    Chao Tokyo The first time I came to this town was worse
    Chao Tokyo To leave is better; you have courage, right? Goodbye…

    涙で歩いた地下道の隅で聴いた唄
    いつか聴いた子守歌
    だれもが独りを感じてる
    ここもまだまだ信じられることばかり

    I walked with tears; at the corner of the underground tunnel I heard a song:
    A lullaby I heard some time ago
    Everyone experiences it alone
    Here there is still much more you can believe in

    守り合ってた不安な恋から いつの日にか
    自分で笑うことを覚えた Chao Tokyo さよなら

    Because of the shared protection of an insecure love, it was one of those days
    I remembered to laugh with myself Chao Tokyo Goodbye...

    愛を見つけられたら この街へともう一度帰りたい
    If I can find love, I want to go towards this town and return once more

    Chao Tokyo 握りしめすぎてしなったキップと
    Chao Tokyo 見送りは七色イルミネーション

    Chao Tokyo I didn’t grip the ticket too much and
    Chao Tokyo the send-off was a seven-colored illumination

    Chao Tokyo Oh Tokyo いつまでも照らし続けてね
    Chao Tokyo Chao Tokyo 私のお城よ さよなら

    Chao Tokyo Oh Tokyo, won’t you continue to shine on forever?
    Chao Tokyo Chao Tokyo It was my castle... Goodbye...


  2. #2
    Senior Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi has a reputation beyond repute Datenshi's Avatar
    Gil
    8,391.96
    Gender
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    03-11-2013 03:51 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Nishitokyo-shi, Tokyo
    Age
    26
    Threads
    3
    Posts
    1,475
    Blog Entries
    9
    Rep Power
    2248

    Default

    Overall I think you did a very competent job, especially since this must have been a very tricky song to translate. I'll just point out a few nitpicks.

    駅のホームにはさみしがりの旅人どうし
    古いキズを見せ合って
    On the station platform there was a lonely-feeling fellow traveler
    We showed each other our old keys;
    First, this is a nitpick if there ever was one, but I feel the phrase 「旅人どうし」 isn't adequately reflected in your translation. 「~どうし」 means "as fellow ~ ", and in this case links to the line below, i.e. "as fellow travellers, we showed each other~". Second, キズ is 傷, for "wound", not "keys".
    -> "On the station platform, as fellow lonely-feeling travelers,
    We showed each other our old wounds"


    あなたを待ってたポケットのカギはもう捨てて
    ひとり夢をだいていたい

    The pocket key you had waited for has already been thrown away
    I want to keep embracing my single dream
    Note that the line reads 「あなた待ってた」, not 「あなた待ってた」. The あなた here is not the one doing the waiting ("the pocket key you had waited for..."), but rather, is the one being waited for. Also note that 「もう捨てて」 is not in past tense, but is rather expressing a future desire and connected to the line below (i.e. 「あなたを待ってたポケットのカギはもう捨てて + ひとり夢をだいて + いたい」). That is, the 「~ていたい」 ("I want to") refers to both 「あなたを~捨てて」 and 「ひとり夢をだいて」.
    -> "I want to throw away the pocket key that has waited for you,
    and keep embracing my single dream"


    上目使いに見てた人波 今になって
    やさしさを感じるよ 不思議ね Chao Tokyo
    At the point when I looked up, I saw a sea of humanity. Now it happens;
    I feel the kindness… It’s such a mystery… Chao Tokyo

    上目使い -> "to cast an upwards glance/to look up from below"

    上目使いに見てた人波
    ->"Looking up from below I saw a sea of humanity..."

    Chao Tokyo 握りしめすぎてしなったキップと
    Chao Tokyo I didn’t grip the ticket too much and

    しなった
    -> to be bent

    握りしめすぎてしなったキップ...
    -> "the ticket I gripped too much and/I bent..."

    Hope that helps.
    Last edited by Datenshi; 01-20-2009 at 11:32 PM.
    "If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron."

    -Spider Robinson, God Is an Iron

  3. #3
    Member
    AnimeLyrics Submitter Lv 2
    kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess is a splendid one to behold kajigoddess's Avatar
    Gil
    825.26
    Gender
    My Mood
    Amused
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    03-19-2011 02:28 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Somewhere in the far-off realm of Southern California...
    Age
    27
    Threads
    28
    Posts
    50
    AL Lyrics
    22
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    Thank you very much for the help. ^_^ I didn't even look closely at the あなたを~もう捨てて verse. It will teach me to look more closely at verses next time, and I have revised it based off of your suggestions.


Closed Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Tokyo mew mew fans unite! ^__________^
    By Maya Miyazono in forum Magical Girl Anime & Manga
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 09-09-2006, 07:07 AM
  2. mink or tokyo mewmew
    By ΘVesVesΘ in forum Magical Girl Anime & Manga
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 08-30-2006, 11:55 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts