3 man

[theDC]

Thanks for littlemisssunshine for helping with ideas and gramar.
This is the rebuild version

"There were 3 friends that always walked in the park. The trees were green, the birds always sang. The wind happily blew as the sun shone with its majesty.
- How are you? I'm fine thanks - said the first and the old of the friends.
- I'm fine thanks. - said the second.
- Why DO you ask this again? I'm fine as yesterday and yesterday - said the third and YOUNGER.
And the first and old always asked the same and the same everyday.
- One day, you'll understand. - said the second.
The time passed, the leaves fall and rise again, the winter comes, the summer comes. But in a stormy day the second and the third didn't find their friend. They looked desperately as the rain fell silently, like a shiny tear, timid between the sky and the cold ground. They feel like in a lightining flash of the time in a second they discovered the true. their friend was dead.
In the ceremony the sister of the first gave them a message he wrote before he died.
They read it like never before, a second of a eternity. Time stoped in the silent room, just a timid, strange and unknown echo slowly crept in the mind:
"I know you always wondered why I always asked the same thing, but you'll understand when I say how important it was to me to hear you say: I'm fine - I AM - to know that you always were there to me. Even now where I am, I ask: How are you? I'm fine thanks.
A tear silently hits the ground. Nothing more is said. The nothing is nothing. The rain just doesn't stop. The wind rises through the hole of the door. But it's a little warm. it can be sensed inside. Just an echo remains: I'm fine... I'm fine."

[little miss sunshine]

Wow.
You actually editted it and reposted.
Glad to be of help.

Carry on with your good work!
But no rush.
=)

[wowzabunny]

VEry good what he said ^

[Anime Forum]

Well reading it was a bit confusing because how packed together the words are. Other then that, the poem was done good. I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but keep up the good work.

Rating - 8/10

[theDC]

Here's a poem. It's short so it's not a big text.

What memories is these I see?
Passing shadows, wind blows?
That comes of us
Although may diferent

Of this people , one energy,
a tune.
In the click of seconds
The computer goes
Gone, but his world
It's not the one that falls,
But the one who build
Even if the time
that feeling
Have transformed and formed

As the river flow to go and
not less important
Defines life around
and radiant,
The knowledge of the instant
of the being
the living

[Riot11]

Thanks for littlemisssunshine for helping with ideas and gramar.
This is the rebuild version

"There were 3 friends that always walked in the park. The trees were green, the birds always sang. The wind happily blew as the sun shone with its majesty.
- How are you? I'm fine thanks - said the first and the old of the friends.
- I'm fine thanks. - said the second.
- Why DO you ask this again? I'm fine as yesterday and yesterday - said the third and YOUNGER.
And the first and old always asked the same and the same everyday.
- One day, you'll understand. - said the second.
The time passed, the leaves fall and rise again, the winter comes, the summer comes. But in a stormy day the second and the third didn't find their friend. They looked desperately as the rain fell silently, like a shiny tear, timid between the sky and the cold ground. They feel like in a lightining flash of the time in a second they discovered the true. their friend was dead.
In the ceremony the sister of the first gave them a message he wrote before he died.
They read it like never before, a second of a eternity. Time stoped in the silent room, just a timid, strange and unknown echo slowly crept in the mind:
"I know you always wondered why I always asked the same thing, but you'll understand when I say how important it was to me to hear you say: I'm fine - I AM - to know that you always were there to me. Even now where I am, I ask: How are you? I'm fine thanks.
A tear silently hits the ground. Nothing more is said. The nothing is nothing. The rain just doesn't stop. The wind rises through the hole of the door. But it's a little warm. it can be sensed inside. Just an echo remains: I'm fine... I'm fine."

Wow thats realy good man. I would rate this great peice of work but i dont want to cheapen it with a numerical evaluation. Kudos