Anyway, I didn't see one of these threads here yet so I'll start. Keep it brief for humorous effect. This can be yourself, family, friends, or a situation you saw/were part of.
1) About a year ago: Two of my friends wanted to go to the mall to watch a movie. [Friend 1] (keeping it anonymous) showed up and waited for about 20 minutes. [Friend 2] didn't come, and friend 1 called her. Friend 2 said she had a "wedding" on Maplestory with her actual boyfriend in 25 minutes, so she couldn't make it to the movie.
2) Walking to class, I meet my last year Bio AP teacher. This happened about 2.5 years ago:
Bio Teacher: "Hey, do you still have your Bio notebook?"
Me: "I think so."
BT: "If you show it to me I'll give you extra credit."
Me: "Um, I'm not in your class anymore."
(Explanation: He had brain surgery, I forgave him)