Original Fiction: Vampire

[Infinita]

I am not sure where you would classify this. It's not really fanfiction but it's not really poetry either. It's like....a short story in a way. I wrote this out of boredom and it kinda sounded good after I was done. Comments and Criticism are appreciated. Thank you! ^^

Mayhem was all around us. The chaos and wrath of the divine have driven us into the unknown. With no where to call home, the destroyed and deserted land was all that remained of our "true home". Our search for acceptance will last forever. We are not amongst the living nor are we amongst the dead. Our hearts have lost their rhythm and sound, our skin has lost colour, our age; so ancient to recall the number and our bodies, forever untouched by time. We are cursed and shall remain cursed. The fate that was decided is one that should not have been chosen. Our mistake has made us immortal. However, we are forever starved and our thirst is never quenched. Nothing can satisfy our hunger and our lust. For we are those who drink the life from one's body. Stealing a life never meant to be innocently stolen. Vampires, we are called. Those who steal lives to sustain their own. We fear the day, with the sun's rays but praise the night, for the glorious moonlight. We lament our own existence, for who could understand the life of a vampire?

[naotavespaboy]

Interesting. It seems like it should lead onto something though. It's sort of like the opening paragraph to a novel and not a stand alone piece. The writing style is good though.

[Infinita]

I was just bored. I didn't want it to really lead to the beginning of a story or novel. I just wanted to write something since I had nothing better to do. Thus a product of my boredom. Lol ^^

[bladewolf_10]

If you ever had a boring day and wanted to make something out of it,I would want to read it,I like the writing style,its sorta like impovised poetry,all and all,good job.

[Nanuq]

it seems cool. i'm into the whole vampire thing so this is right up my blpck ;P

[Shia_san]

I like the writing style..but i agree it should lead to something >.<

[Lord Tsukuyomi]

I enjoyed it a lot. Have you added anything to that? I would like to read the rest if you have.

[Infinita]

Oh no. This was just a short thing I did. That's all their is. I never really thought about adding anything.

[Furevor]

isnt a lot of that from pirates of the caribbean?
not saying its bad just maybe you should have tried to hide it a bit better

[Infinita]

I didn't get any of it from pirates of the carribean. That"s my original writing and ideas. If you think about it, vampires can't eat nor drink normal human food. They need blood to live.