YOU - akachan to boku

[hasen]

Link: http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/akachantoboku/you.htm

YT:

I think the translation is wrong in so many ways, just read it and see if it makes any sense.

So, maybe I'm not so fluent in Japanese, but at least I think I understand the theme of the song, which is "You taught me how to live happily, thank you!"

so here's my attempt:

Kaze no naka Hohoende
Tsurakute mo Hohoende
Ichido de ii Onegai dakara

The given translation is ok, but I'd perefer to keep it closer to the Japanese

In the wind, smile
Even if it's hard, smile
Even if just once, please

next:

Nakisou na Yokogao ni
Nakisou na Kono toki ni
Nani wo ieba Sukueru no

(and please use utf-8 for accented vowels!)

I'm not sure what sukueru means but I think this section better translates as:

When your face looks like you want to cry
then in that time
Just say something, it'll be ok

So far the original translation is ok, but the next section is disaster:

Omoidashite Kitsuku koto wa
Shiawase e to Chikazuku koto

current translation: This scar in memory. It will give us nealy happiness

My translation:

Remember, at the time of hardship, that happiness is near by

next part:

Oshiete kureta

The person who taught me that

next:


Samui nara Koko ni ite
Ima dakara Koko ni ite
Hitori ni nado Naranaide

current translation:

If I to feel cold. I will still stay here
Because this time you still be with me
We are not alone

I'm not 100% sure myself what koko ni ite is referring to, but here's my attempt:

If it gets cold, come here
It is now, so come here
Don't be alone and all that.

Even though I'm not 100% sure of correctness, but I am 100% sure it's better than the current given translation.

next:
Wasurenaide Kurushii toki wa
Honno sukoshi Amaete ii to

current translation:

Can't forgot that time to distress
It can to be vanish that slowly

My translation:

Don't forget,
when it gets painful
it's ok to act like child for a little bit *

*this is really hard to translate into english (specially when it's not my native language), I think "amaeru" means to act all sweet like a little baby, and stuff like that.

So, over all:

In the wind, smile
Even if it's hard, smile
Even if just once, please

When your face looks like you want to cry
then in that time
Just say something, it'll be ok

Remember, at the time of hardship,
that happiness is near by

the person who taught me that
Ah ~ it's you
Ah ~ I love you

It is ~ Ah
Ah ~ it's you
Ah ~ I love you


If it gets cold, come here
It is now, so come here
Don't be alone and all that.

Don't forget,
when it gets painful
it's ok to act like a child for a little bit

the person who taught me that
Ah ~ it's you
Ah ~ I love you

It is ~ Ah
Ah ~ it's you
Ah ~ I love you

[AzureDark]

Can you pass the JP tests first? Sorry for asking you to do this but it's for clarification and other stuff about the site.

[hasen]

No I can't, because I can't read kanji, and I don't claim that I know alot of Japanese, I've been studying on and off for the last two years, through formal college courses and through many other informal means as well.
but I think I know enough to defend my position in this thread. If anyone can prove me wrong I'll be happy to admit it, I just think the current translation of the song is wrong in so many ways

For example,
Omoidashite Kitsuku koto wa
Shiawase e to Chikazuku koto

I translated it as:

Remember, at the time of hardship,
that happiness is near by

I can tell you how I arrived at that translation:

omoidashite: 思い出して
it's the てform of 思い出す (to remember), this form can have different meanings, but I interpret it as command/request because it makes more sense in this context, and it's consistent with the next part which says 忘れないで which means "don't forget"; both parts start with a word that says "remember/don't forget", then followed by some advice.

kizutsuku koto wa --> hardship
shiawase e to --> towards happiness
chikazuku --> approaches
koto --> nominalize the whole phrase

Now, the current translation says:
This scar in memory
It will give us nearly happiness

I'd like to know how was this translation arrived at? (and does it even make any sense?)

At least my translation makes the lyrics consistent and sticks to an obvious theme.

[Shinobi Chirlind-Byouko]

I'll agree that the current translation does need replacement, and this one is certainly better. I fully agree with his point about Omoidashite, Wasurenaide, and Koko ni ite. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to critique or suggest better phrasing for the suggested translation.

[AzureDark]

Fine then; I forgot that you can actually have a lyric page yourself while still Lv.0.