Winter Wonderland?

[SigmaSD]

The weather today was really hectic. It rained last night, but the weather soon got really cold, thus turning the water to ice. It literaly took an hour to get all of the ice off the car, 'cause we couldn't see anything. So I just got inspired by the weather today, and I made this poem. Let's see if anyone can guess from which animals perspective it's from. As always, comments on how to improve it are welcomed.

Winter Wonderland?

Let's all enjoy this winter wonderland,
The snow is soft like cotton;
The air is frigid cold.

Let's all enjoy this winter wonderland,
All the birds have migrated;
The crystal waters froze.

Let's all enjoy this winter wonderland,
The luscious flowers; gone and withered;
The trees look saddened; cold and bear.

How exactly is this a winter wonderland?
Everything beautiful is gone; asleep, or dead.
Natures very existance; gone to some extent.

This cold is so unbearable,
My body starts to freeze.
My paradise exists no more,
There's nothing here for me.

The cold slowly consumes my soul,
I struggle just to breath.
My body slowly falls asleep...
I'll wait... until the ... spring.

[Anime Forum]

Nice poem Sigma, I really enjoyed reading it. It may of not been your best but still, it was really enjoyable and you do seem to have a talent at poetry.

Rating - 9/10

[FaeryTaleAngel]

~*~**SigmaSD**~*~

I really liked the Poem. I must say that it was rather enjoyable to read. I give it a 7/10. Not because it isn't good, please don't get me wrong, because I really did like it an awful lot. I'm just a really hard critique when it comes to writing in general. ^^' Your Poem was really good overall though. I did enjoy reading it. So keep up the great work!!!!!!! ^_______^

Hmm... I am guessing that it comes from the prospective of the Bear? ^^' I was going on Wolf until I read the last few lines. ^-^ Fantastic job; I really liked it. Keep up the great work.

^-^' =] =D :heart: <3

[vwxy352]

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[Azul]

ok then. i'm just going to ignore these 2 posts b4 mine. don't know or care to know what they are about.

i was going for a tree but then i reread your post. animal hmmm? i'm just gonna go with bear like FaeryTaleAngel. she seems to have a good point.

i loved the poem but it wasn't your best. didn't seem like you put your all in it. this is me being an honest friend.

i just read it over again.

in the line The trees look saddened; cold and bear., you used b-e-a-r instead of b-a-r-e. was that the hint?

it was good just not the great work i know you can produce. i loved the refrain. Let's all enjoy this winter wonderland,. i agree with the 7/10. come on. i know your writing skill is better than average. more like 10/10.

[WinterDream]

Nice work as usually.
I liked it.Oh,I love winter and cold xP.

[theDC]

Keep it up! You know you're already professional. Why?

Because poetry don't have real hard rules... The important is to fell it. To recognize it. Art is the expression of your soul. Is how you see the world.
Why don't you post more?

[SigmaSD]

it was good just not the great work i know you can produce. i loved the refrain. Let's all enjoy this winter wonderland,. i agree with the 7/10. come on. i know your writing skill is better than average. more like 10/10.

Yeah, I know. I wrote this in like 30 minutes, and I didn't even proofread it. The line was supposed to be bare not bear, so that proves that I rushed it. And don't worry, I will try harder next time.

Why don't you post more?

Well lately I've been feeling really sick, but I also don't know what to write about atm. I'm getting irritated with myself because of it.

[Tsuki.]

Tsuki appears! (nods head) It isn't my favorite by you, but I still liked it. I think that the second stanza is the best for some reason, and I hope ya feel better soon.