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Thread: Hell on Earth

  1. #1
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default Hell on Earth

    Okay, well, here's a poem I wrote today. It's short, but I still want to know that people think, and if you have any suggestions for a different name, I'm all ears.

    Hell on Earth

    Walking in the shadows,
    The creatures of the night.
    Play with heads of fallen,
    Laughter mixed with fright.

    Demons flocking here and there,
    Blood seeping through the ground.
    Closing in, for the kill,
    Circling all around.

    Terror, coming closer,
    Too scared to run away.
    Stand tall to take the first one down,
    Now itís time to pay.
    Last edited by Tsuki.; 12-12-2008 at 11:38 PM.


  2. #2
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default

    This poem makes me fear hell now. I don't want deamons playing with my head. lol. I liked this poem because it was short and concise. There was a lot of imagery in it. I also like how it finished. As I've said before, you keep improving immensely with every new poem. Keep up the good trend.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

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  3. #3
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    be afraid, be VERY afraid. They like to play with skulls. you know, just toss them around for a bit, then go and use it as a pillow, heads have many uses. ^^
    I'm glad that you like it. I'll try my hardest to make good poems.


  4. #4
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    heh heh, (tosses you head) Fun!
    Thanks for liking my poem. ^_^


  5. #5
    Senior Member fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen's Avatar
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    Default

    oh man! this poem is so creepy...
    hahahahahahah!!!!! XD
    i love the second stanza...
    "demons flocking here and there,
    blood seeping through the ground,"
    hehe... nice one...
    anyway, good job! *thumbs up*
    ...really cool sig made by...Nespa... =]

  6. #6
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    Rawr! ^_^
    I'm glad you liked it.
    I still don't like the title though!!


  7. #7
    Senior Member Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul's Avatar
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    Default

    it was good. i love the title. cant see why you don't like it.

    your poem is what we'd call short and spicy. i really like it.
    The fool sees the bend but doesn't look beyond it.


  8. #8
    Senior Member Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke X's Avatar
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    Default

    A bit dark...but very well done.

  9. #9
    Junior Member KariKamiya18 is a jewel in the rough KariKamiya18 is a jewel in the rough KariKamiya18 is a jewel in the rough KariKamiya18 is a jewel in the rough KariKamiya18's Avatar
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    Default

    This poem is really good.It has a nice touch of hell into it.
    Kouji and Kouichi Lover,That's ME!!

  10. #10
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    Default

    well the reason I don't like the title is because I don't like to swear even if it is just a little one. . .

    ^^ Thanks everyone who liked it! Means a lot to me.


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