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Thread: You and Me Forever.

  1. #1
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default You and Me Forever.

    I wrote this poem last night. I guess I got inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's Annabel Lee. I was reading it yesterday, so I decided to make my own version. I found out that his Birthday is the same day as mine. It was weird. But anyway, here it is. (Thanks for the help Rein*. You're a real good friend)

    You and Me Forever
    You and me forever,
    that is what I thought.
    But fate would have the last word,
    and sadly 'twas for naught.

    Cupid's arrow pierced our hearts,
    so very young we were.
    The love was true; there was no farce.
    Our souls began to merge.

    Your beauty; body, mind, and soul;
    serene like a lagoon.
    Your eyes, your smile; so beautiful
    Emblazoned by the moon.

    The love we shared grew aimlessly,
    the years began to pass.
    Our lives, calm, blissfully.
    I thought that it would last.

    Disease then stole your soul away.
    My heart turned to stone.
    I had to mourn your death some way.
    'Cause I was left alone.

    But there's a place called heaven.
    It's where we'll meet again.
    And meanwhile I'll wait patiently,
    forever by your grave.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  2. #2
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Default To ease the tension.

    This happened to me in high school, and I felt embarrased. I'm placing it underneath the other poem to relieve the tension of the first. Enjoy.

    Dodgeball Limerick

    A dodgeball flew right at my face.
    I could've seen nothing but haze.
    I started to dread,
    that it would turn red.
    And everyone started to gaze.


    PS- It hurt a lot. Thankfully my nose didn't bleed.
    Last edited by SigmaSD; 12-02-2008 at 02:07 PM.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  3. #3
    Circlejerk Elitist DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince has a reputation beyond repute DarkMoonPrince's Avatar
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    Oooh, I love this poem, especially with the rhyme of thought with naught. also hearts with farce, the poem is touching, and i like it. please, keep up the good work.

  4. #4
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
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    I loved the first poem it was great. I even learned a new word emblazoned- to decorate;to display briallantly-

    As for the second one the limerick just one correction
    I couldn't see nothing but haze
    as it stands its a double negative; it should read either

    I could see nothing but haze.
    OR
    I couldn't see anything but haze.

    But a good limerick.

  5. #5
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rein* View Post

    As for the second one the limerick just one correction

    as it stands its a double negative; it should read either

    I could see nothing but haze.
    OR
    I couldn't see anything but haze.

    But a good limerick.
    Oh, sorry about that. It's just that I was trying to satisfy the limerick rules. That line is supposed to have 8 syllables. If I changed it, the limerick would be thrown off.

    By the way, thanks for the comments. I though it was an okay poem, but I'm glad everyone liked it. It's really lifted my spirits.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  6. #6
    Senior Member fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen's Avatar
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    i love your first poem (You and Me Forever)...
    its so touching... and sad...
    i love it! especially the last stanza:
    But there's a place called heaven.
    It's where we'll meet again.
    And meanwhile I'll wait patiently,
    forever by your grave.

    really touching...
    anyway, your poems are great! hope to read more from you...
    ...really cool sig made by...Nespa... =]

  7. #7
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    First Poemy

    Wow, that was really beautiful. I really loved how it was so peaceful and yet tragic.

    I don't have a favorite part, but I really loved these two the best.


    You and Me Forever

    But fate would have the last word,
    and sadly 'twas for naught.

    and,

    Your eyes, your smile; so beautiful
    Emblazoned by the moon.
    It's so . . . aaawwww. That's the only way I can explain it. But, you did a great job with it.


    Second Poemy

    Okay, when I read this I burst out laughing.
    But, don't worry, it's happened to me a couple of times at my overly athletic school. Although Usually it's on top of my head.

    (In case you're wondering, in my vocabulary, Poemy is a word. ^^)
    Last edited by Tsuki.; 12-02-2008 at 03:25 PM.


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tsuki Moon88 View Post
    In case you're wondering, in my vocabulary, Poemy is a word. ^^
    Aww, that's really cute. By the way, thanks for the compliments. I'll be sure to post something real soon. =D
    Last edited by SigmaSD; 12-02-2008 at 10:11 PM.

  9. #9
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
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    You better . . . . (goes to sit in corner to wait)


  10. #10
    Ellxeeva's Minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    I just wanted to mention that I entered this poem in a competition, and I won first place. *goes into victory pose* This was before the last week of college, and the judges though it was clever how I added some happy emotions througout, despite the fact that the poem was depresssing.

    Oh, and thanks to all of you who gave me some compliments, I really appreciate it.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=H5qFZjuKet4

    |Set made by Neukifly|

    Super Saiyan Dango


  11. #11
    Heart Cold As Ice ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
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    Bravo, enjoyed the first one, and congrates on winning first with it. The words were a good mix for it, not many people try to use hard words or a mixture of words so there poetry doesnt work out as it should have been, but this one was great.
    As for your second one, it was enough for me to see that you didn't like that moment of your dodgeball life.
    Keep writing friend, and keep on using what ever style of poetry you like.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

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    The dodge ball poem is funny. Good job.

  13. #13
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    Sigma SD is a Z saber wielding poet... VERY INTERESTING COMBINATION...

    anyhoo, great work, If you got more, post 'em if you got 'em, or if you just want someone to read 'em over, send me them in a PM, savvy, but yeah, the first one worked really well, left me trying to figure out whether or not I was really sad or just looking ahead to the future, but yeah, you did a great job interlacing joy and despair, good work to yah.

    And the second brought back flashbacks of dodgeball in gym class. WHY DOES EVERYONE WHO THROWS REALLY HARD ALWAYS AIM FOR THE FACE??!!?? ZOMG IT'S SOOO TRUE!!!

    good work, bro.
    "Give me the power, the power to protect everybody..."

    -Ichigo Kurosaki of Bleach


    http://hitohikami.deviantart.com/gallery/
    (This is my stuff, Hito is me, don't have much up there yet...)

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