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Thread: *My little Toybox*

  1. #1
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default *My little Toybox*

    This here is my little thread where I'll put some poems of mine in. I hope you don't mind and feedbacks are alwasy welcome! No worries! Just tell me what's on your mind. Cause I'm not a little girl who would cry over bad critics ^.^
    And I want to improve myself so some feedback would be really helpful =3
    Here's the first one:


    Water mirror

    A lake sleeping
    Within the silence of the forest
    Just as a child
    In the arms of a mother

    Water
    Flowing gently
    As I approach the clearance
    A paradise of his own

    Maybe it was a mistake
    Maybe I was wrong

    But it doesn't matter
    Nothing does

    Cause nothing remains
    Things change

    Good maybe
    Sometimes hurtful
    Leaving a scar
    In yourself

    A scar in your soul
    Unseen
    Hidden

    Only tears tell my story
    Tears that are breaking
    A water mirror
    In the silence of the forest

    Tearing my soul apart

  2. #2
    Banned Forum / Chat .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv has a reputation beyond repute .fnhvmnvmv's Avatar
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    ~that touched meh ;___; i love it =3

  3. #3
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Thx! Here's another one ^.^

    Beginning

    Maybe
    Perhaps
    I pushed these words away
    I tried to stand against my doubts

    Probably
    Fault
    A pain
    To hear
    These things

    Words full of anxiousness
    Words that don't belong to me

    Cause I want to begin
    To start
    A life worth living
    A life I'm longing for

    Maybe...This could be my life
    Awaiting its beginning...
    Last edited by Iceflower; 11-21-2008 at 10:53 AM.

  4. #4
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    One of my older ones =3 Enjoy it ^.^

    Nothing remains

    Remain
    Maintain
    What an illusion
    Nothing goes right
    Everything turns out to be fake
    A dream
    I can't reach

    Cause you're gone
    And I am here

    I prayed
    Days and Nights
    But there isn't anything
    That can go against the stream of life
    Even if we wish with our lives

  5. #5
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Another one ^.^ I hope you like it.

    Live your Life!


    A smile
    One tear
    Disappearing
    As the moon
    When the dawn comes

    But...
    It doesn't matter
    I don't care
    A smile
    One tear
    Amongst millions
    That's my life

    A bruise
    One injury
    Carved into my flesh
    My soul

    But...
    I don't care
    I only tripped
    Once
    Again and again
    Cause that's life

    And I won't give up
    I'll never give up
    I want to find myself
    I want to live

    Cause that's my life
    Yours, hers, his
    Everybody's

    There's only one chance
    One life

    So don't drown in sadness
    Don't try to hide
    Don't lie down
    The life's waiting and your the main character
    In your own story

    Maybe sometime we'll meet
    Maybe we'll be friends
    Maybe it's just a matter of time

    So live your life
    The best you can

    I'm already waiting for you
    My dear friend

  6. #6
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Here's a little song written by me =D

    Father


    Every night you came
    Every night
    It was the same
    I cried
    Millions of tears
    Falling on the floor
    But you never stopped
    You never stopped...

    I tried to get over it
    I wanted to forget it
    I wanted to forget it all

    You pushed me down
    You stopped my breath
    Everything fell apart
    My whole world was broken
    The day you came
    'It is only a game'
    You said
    With a smile on your face
    It is only a game...

    I ran away
    I ran away from you
    I ran away from her
    I ran away from the pain
    I ran away from everything involving you

    Now I've grown older
    But nothing has changed

    I hide
    Every day
    Every second of my damn life
    I live in fear
    Because of you, father
    Because of you...

    In the middle of the night I cry
    In the middle of the night I begin to scream
    In the middle of the night everything comes near
    In the middle of the night you find me again
    In the middle of the night my world breaks to pieces
    In thousand little pieces
    Father...


  7. #7
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    The first poem is full of tranquility, but is then overriden with dark, deppressing thoughts, changing the focus of the poem entirely. You did a fine job with it. (I hope you really don't feel that way).

    I could tell that in the second one, you're struggling for a sense of identity. The wording was good, but I would combine the third and fourth line of the second paragraph, so it reads "To hear these things".

    The third one gives a sense of no control over life. The darkness behind the words gives it a good poetic vibe. Nice job.

    The fourth one is really inspiring. It has a good flow, and gives a sense of accomplishment. Again, nice job.

    The last one is a bit freaky. I think it has to do with a rapist father (though I hope not). I could really feel the sense of perceptional destruction. It's like your soul is being ripped apart.

    Overall, I think you have a very unique style of poetry. It's very good. You certainly know how to express your feelings in your work. I do hope that those depressing feelings in your poems aren't really how you feel (Especially the last one). I like your poetry, and I would really like to see more in the future.

  8. #8
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback and yeah my poems seem very gloomy, don't they? But I think everyone drowns in sadness sometimes...You know though I like my life even if it can be pretty harsh. And don't worry I don't feel like doing anything ridiculous.
    The last one is very freaky, because I wrote this one for a RPG. My character you know. It was a girl who...I think you should understand now why it is like this. I never experienced such a traumatizing thing. And to bring this to a nice end now: thanks for the feedback and I am happy that you even read every poem =D Thanks a bunch. I'll keep writing and I hope you'll go on reading =3

    *Iceflower*

  9. #9
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Here's another one ^.^ It's a little bit melancholic but I think it has a ray of hope =3

    Sunset

    The world seems so cold
    The air's so calm
    Not even a word reaches my ear
    Not even a sound comes near

    I am locked away
    In a narrow room
    People go here and there
    But I don't know where
    I belong

    The window's shut
    The door's closed
    There's a cut
    On my knees
    Spilling out blood
    I might not need

    I am locked away
    In a world I don't want
    In a world I don't belong
    But I stayed for so long

    As the sunset comes
    And the sun drowns
    In the endless sea
    I watch the sky turn red
    While lying in my bed

    I am locked away
    In this house
    Forever and ever
    Cause my body's weak
    Only thinking about it
    Makes my soul begin to weep

    And as the sunset comes
    My body begins to move
    As if it were years
    Not months
    I had lied down in this room

    It's time to go
    It's time to say goodbye
    To the life I know
    Just one step
    One jump

    The glass shattered
    A window crushed
    As my soul cracked
    And the boundaries vanished

    I took some little steps
    In the red sand
    Of the beautiful sunset
    The life took me away
    This day

    Father, Mother
    Brother, Sister
    This is my goodbye
    Cause I took another way

    Maybe sometime our paths will cross again
    Maybe my feelings won't remain
    But I'd be happy to see you once more
    Someday when we can smile without this pain
    And our wounds don't ache anymore

    Someday, maybe...
    I'll wait patiently
    Last edited by Iceflower; 11-28-2008 at 03:33 PM.

  10. #10
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    See me, only me

    I used to see you
    Staring through this little window
    While I
    Was waiting in your shadow

    Your friends were bigger than you
    They muttered
    They fluttered
    Cause christmas would come
    In just one month

    I listened to you speaking
    But they didn't hear
    "Did you say something?"
    You stayed quiet in despair

    I heard you muttering
    "Why should they care?"
    I wanted to respond but your eyes
    They had a wild glare
    Not accepting any lies

    And I knew you wouldn't care
    Even if you did hear
    What I wanted to say
    And I thought 'kay
    It really didn't matter
    It'd only be another cutter
    In your broken heart

    I watched you
    You were waiting
    On a queue
    "Sorry, little kid."
    "Oh, ****!"
    "I didn't mean to..."
    "No prob. It's only me."
    "Are you hurt? Lemme see."

    A woman wanted to grab your arm
    But you only said
    "There's no harm."
    "Boy, you need aid."
    "No prob. I don't need any med."

    She approached you
    The others were gone
    I shouted
    "Run, run!
    Right into the crowd!"
    And you disappeared
    In only one second

    The moment our eyes met
    I saw it in your face
    A question
    The caution
    I didn't want to face

    So I ran away
    Smiling
    On that day
    Cause I got to see you
    And you saw me
    Only me

  11. #11
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    I can honestly say that sunset reminded me of a painful moment in my past. Your words were exactly how I felt in that situation. I'm glad that in the end, you no longer feel trapped. When I read it, I felt like you were in a really small room where you could hardly move. Then as the poem progressed, your sense of freedom left a wonderful feeling for the reader.

    The other poem showed exactly how friends sometimes are. You may say something, but they're so into their conversation that they don't hear you. I like the flow and structure, but I found the dialogue a bit confusing. I did like how you finished the poem; you related it to the title.

  12. #12
    Senior Member fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen has a reputation beyond repute fyereen's Avatar
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    wow! you have so many beautiful poems..
    i love your 'live your life' and 'sunset' poem...
    they were really touching... the 'sunset' almost made me cry...
    i got carried away while reading your poems... it's beautiful...
    anyway, i'd love to read some more poems from you... =]
    ...really cool sig made by...Nespa... =]

  13. #13
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Well, this one turned out to be veeeeeery childish ^.^' But I hope you don't mind. I got al little bit carried away while thinking about christmas =3

    Shooting Star


    A little light in the pitch black sky
    Shining in the darkness
    No matter why
    It just leaves a shine in my heart
    And I don't care how hard
    The wind might blow
    On this cold day

    Let me stay
    Only a little while longer
    Just this way
    Don't get stronger
    Don't blow me away

    Cause I have many things to wish for
    And so much more
    Things for my friends
    Things for myself
    Things for my family
    And things for anyone else

    So just stay with me for a while
    And I'll tell you a story about this little isle

    It may be only an island in the world you know
    But it is a world I'd give my life for
    You have my vow

    It is a world full of happiness
    Even if sometimes everything seems to be a mess
    Christmas is coming at pace
    And so there's no time to laze

    Everyone wants to show
    The love they feel
    They want others to know
    That it's real

    So please little shooting star
    Cause there you are
    Just grant me one wish
    Even if it seems a little childish

    I want a christmas for everyone to enjoy
    Bring them happiness
    Be their envoy
    In this cruel darkness

    Let them smile
    For a little while
    Please my little shooting star
    Grant my wish
    Even if it's a little childish

  14. #14
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    This poem has so many different poetic techniques. What makes it amazing is the fact that you made the poem work, despite all of these different schemes. My favorite parts where:
    "Let me stay
    Only a little while longer
    Just this way
    Don't get stronger
    Don't blow me away

    .......

    I want a christmas for everyone to enjoy
    Bring them happiness
    Be their envoy
    In this cruel darkness."

    I enjoyed this poem. Thanks.

  15. #15
    Forever 12. Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori has a reputation beyond repute Memento Mori's Avatar
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    The poems are very nice, very touching.

    But I suggest replacing the word 'cause' with 'because'... because it sounds more professional.
    On this day of days, most epic and prideful, you were born 15 whole American years ago!
    Through the odds and by doing the impossible, you beat out hundreds of thousands of siblings in the great sperm race for the coveted egg.
    Probably via hax.
    Regardless! You won!
    So remember, whenever someone picks on you or calls you weak or small.
    Just remind them that you beat out a few hundred thousand other wimps.

    And the grand prize was not dying!

  16. #16
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Sorry for my long absence. I was pretty busy, but here I've got another poem for you. Even though it's christmas soon, this is a sad one. I'm sorry. >.<

    The last goodbye


    I heard your cries
    I saw your tears
    Behind all the lies
    And all your fears

    Cause in the end
    You couldn’t hide
    Behind your pride

    I beg of you: Be wise
    Don’t try to forget
    Try to overcome
    What they’ve done

    Please, be set
    Please, stop lying
    Stop crying

    Let me see your smile
    Cause I can be your isle

    Hold onto me
    And let me see
    The world you hide
    I want to help you
    I want to stay by your side

    Give me the chance
    To bring you back
    Cause I want to change

    I want to change the world
    That caused you so much pain
    So wait for me
    It won't be vain

    Live
    Live for me
    When you can't live for yourself
    Let me heal your wounds
    Let me be your elf
    To carry your worries
    To carry your pain

    Don’t let go
    Promise me to stay alive
    Don’t let this be the last goodbye
    And please don’t let this promise be just another lie

  17. #17
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
    Gil
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    This poem is somewhat sad, but not deppressing. The way I interpret this poem is that somewhat is on the verge of dying, and the narrator is begging them to hold on. The poem doesn't tell whether the person dies or not, but seeing as I'm an optimistic person, I'll just guess they make it. =D

    As I've said before, you really have a unique style, and you make it work to perfection. The many styles you use along with the emotions you incorporate help make this poem speak to the reader. Awesome job.

  18. #18
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Sigma was here again =3 Yay! Thanks for all the feedback. I really appreciate it. So, after quite a while, here's another one. Enjoy it =D

    Time doesn’t change, but we do

    I watched people walking by
    I saw time getting lost
    But I only had another sigh
    For every change happening
    In this little world

    I saw people getting older
    I watched others becoming colder
    And I myself am changing
    With the time passing by
    I found myself being shy

    Why are things changing?
    Why is time flowing?
    Why can’t we stay just as we are?

    Just where we are
    Why do we have to go this far?
    Why do we have to change so much in our life?

    Being a child
    Growing up
    Like a little pup
    Becoming wild
    Being mild

    We just change
    With the flow of time
    And the clock’s chime
    We change
    Life changes
    Who we were
    But who does care?

    Cause time’s only a viewer
    Time doesn’t change
    But we do and there’s no time to hesitate

    We can't stay put
    Even if there will be wounds to medicate
    Even if there are times
    You want to give up
    Even if life's harsh
    You have to stand up

    And give it another try
    Cause time doesn't change
    But we do
    I, he, she, they
    And even you

    So don't let time only pass by
    Make every moment part of your life
    And just give it another try
    Last edited by Iceflower; 01-02-2009 at 04:19 PM.

  19. #19
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    I like how this poem starts depressing, and then gives off an inspiring feeling at the end. The flow is smooth, making the poem look very attractive and appealing to the reader. The only thing I would change is the line that mentions how time never changes. Time is constantly changing, and it never stops. So I found that line a bit confusing. The rest looks perfect and I enjoyed this poem quite a lot.

  20. #20
    Isolated ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR has a reputation beyond repute ELR's Avatar
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    All your poems bring some type of uniqueness to who you are, this being said, you actually make different styles into one, like SigmaSD said earlier. Doing stuff like that makes you one of the people who are able to change things to work. Keep writing poems that fill the darkness and bring in a little like for comfort, friend. I'll be sure to look here again to see what else you have instore to read.
    I am no more a rose than I am its thorns.
    No more a gentle breeze than I am the hailing storm.
    I am no more hated than I am loved.
    And I am no more heartfilled than I am heartless.
    This is who I am.
    ~ELR

  21. #21
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Well, I can't say I have that much time to do anything, but I will post this little poem or what it is =) This is dedicated to all of my precious friends. I hope you know how much I love you =D

    Friends

    I wanted to stop

    I tried to stop growing

    I wanted to stop feeling


    Cause the world is just too harsh

    This life is just too hard

    And the burden only got heavier

    From day to day


    I wanted to stop
    I just wanted to stop feeling the pain

    I was standing there
    Staring at them
    Like a mountain

    They were there
    Right in front of me
    My problems, my fears, my anxiousness
    Everything

    A whole mountain made of my life
    Of the shards
    That had remained

    And I stood there
    Helpless
    Hopeless

    On the verge of breaking down
    I was crying
    All alone

    But only one day could make my whole world crumble

    Only one day could turn everything upside-down

    The pain turned into joy

    The sorrow turned into smiles

    The shards were put together
    By your gentle hands

    And I found my life being turned upside-down

    I found myself walking out of the darkness

    I found myself bathing in the light of day

    That's why I want to thank you


    I want to thank you for taking my hand

    I want to thank you for leading me through the daily darkness

    I want to thank you for being born into this world


    Thank you for everything

    My precious friends


  22. #22
    Nanobyte's minion SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD has a reputation beyond repute SigmaSD's Avatar
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    Wow, I really like this poem. It felt like I was reading a story, and it really had some amazing imagery, you know, with the mountain and everything. I pictured it as if the climb up the mountain brought about the sad feelings, but at the top everything became easier. However, you don't really have to thank your friends. Were just there to help you out, but you do everything else on your own, and if you accomplish any obstacles, it was through your decisions.

    But still, nice poem.

  23. #23
    .Celeste's fosterling Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower has a reputation beyond repute Iceflower's Avatar
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    Well, decided to post sth again. Dunno if this can be called a 'poem' ^_^
    But...Just see for yourself. I kind of was in the mood so it is a little bit long xD Hope you enjoy it though ^^

    Fairy Tale

    The good, the bad
    Love, Friends, luck
    Being happy or sad

    In this world
    White and black
    Are the only colours that exist

    All you want is happiness
    But you only gain sorrow

    All you want is someone to hold on
    A shoulder to borrow
    When you want to cry
    But there is noone near to lend you some warmth
    In this cruel world

    You always begin to cry in the middle of the night
    Craving for some warmth
    When you gaze at the stars
    You always think of the bad
    Of your painful past
    You always think of giving up

    But isn't there sth you can hold onto?
    Isn't there someone who cares for you?
    Someone to carry you
    When your feet feel numb?

    When your body feels heavy
    Why not run?
    Run to the end of the world
    And see what you always dreamed of

    See what you've always thought of
    See if you were wrong
    Look into the faces of the people you hated
    Find people to love
    Find friends
    People who share pain, sorrow and happiness with you

    Just take my hand and I'll show you this world
    The world you've lived in for so long
    Without even knowing
    Without knowing the colours of this little isle

    All these different persons, emotions
    I want you to know
    I want you to feel what others feel
    I want you to feel what I feel
    I want you to know the joy of life

    Just take my hand
    So that I can drag you away
    Away from your memories
    From your tears
    I want you to walk past the darkness
    Into the light
    Just take a step

    Because even one tiny step can change
    What imprisoned you in the night
    So come with me
    And I'll show you a story

    There is no happy end
    There is no bad end either
    There is only you
    Decisions, faces
    This is a fairytale
    Your fairytale
    And I am your guide
    Do you want to take this ride?

  24. #24
    Senior Member Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan has a reputation beyond repute Bun-chan's Avatar
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    Your poems are sooo good! i really really liked water mirror, shooting star and the last goodbye. i liked them most but i liked all of them keep writing because i want to read more of this ^^

  25. #25
    Dream With Me Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul has a reputation beyond repute Magical Soul's Avatar
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    Me likeys them all sis. =D



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